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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be furious with people who don't pick up the phone after they've just called me?

17 replies

Pluvia · 15/02/2025 18:55

My partner just phoned me from an event that I am trying, against all odds, to get ready to attend. DP went ahead to help set up. I'm tasked with getting the dog in and out of the garden for a wee, tidying up in case people come back here later and getting ready to go out. DP called as I was drying off the dog. It took three rings for me to grab my phone and by that time the line was dead. I phoned back instantly. Phone rings out and then goes to voicemail. Try again. Phone rings several times before going to voicemail. And again. It's infuriating and so rude!

OP posts:

Changingplace · 15/02/2025 18:58

God I hate this too! If they’ve just called why isn’t the phone right there in their hand? Why do people do this??

QuirkyCoralTraybake · 15/02/2025 19:01

Couldn't get remotely excited about this, let alone furious. It might have been inconvenient or he thought you were busy etc🥱

Original poster

Pluvia · 15/02/2025 19:06

His phone's ringing in his pocket and he's not answering. That's not DP showing some kind of sensitivity.

OP posts:

CurlyhairedAssassin · 15/02/2025 19:08

My husband always does this when he rings me from the supermarket to ask me something. I ring him straight back and he never answers.

Katemax82 · 15/02/2025 19:08

That drives me mad

Bubblemonkey · 15/02/2025 19:09

If I do this, it’s because I’ve committed the mightiest crime - going for a piss. Believe it or not, my phone isn’t surgically attached to me.

phoenixrosehere · 15/02/2025 19:10

Mine has done this but usually it has been because the signal in the area is dodgy. Supermarkets and country roads are the worse for it.

Minimili · 15/02/2025 19:20

I am often guilty of this.

I have no signal in my house so have to go outside to call someone.
If they don’t answer I go back in and then miss any returned calls.

I do usually wait a few minutes in case someone calls back but DP wasn’t happy the other night when I called him but was freezing and went back inside.

If you have the same offenders repeatedly doing this then maybe call them over WiFi, if it’s a signal problem they might still receive FaceTime or WhatsApp calls like I do.
We are also one of the few remaining people that have a landline, people forget about it but complain they can never get through because of the lack of signal.

My friend often does this though and has no real excuse, it’s often when I’m waiting for her to get in touch about something and it drives me mad. I’ve asked her before if she throws her phone away after phoning and if that’s why she can’t hear my returned calls! I sometimes think people just let it ring a couple of times with no intention of letting it connect just to say they tried to get through, who knows why? 🤷🏼‍♀️

StMarie4me · 15/02/2025 19:22

I had that this week. Three calls from the same person that I could not answer as was busy. Messaged after call 1. 30 mins later when I could call, phone was off. Infuriating!

JudgeBread · 15/02/2025 19:22

Lmao sorry I do this.

I'll ring someone then go "oh they haven't answered" and shove my phone back in my pocket, then immediately become distracted by whatever I'm doing. Because my phone is eternally and forever on silent, I don't notice they're phoning me back.

Either that or I've butt dialled them. I do this often too. I'm dreadful.

Original poster

Pluvia · 15/02/2025 19:25

Not a signal issue here. DP only a mile down the road in a well-covered area. I've tried calling a couple more times because there's a possibility that he left something behind and it's needed, but no answer so I'm now going out. Pleased to hear that this drives others equally mad.

OP posts:

ThreeMagicNumber · 15/02/2025 19:28

Abaolutely HATE it, my 20 year old does it all the time. Have fun, have a drink for me!

QuirkyCoralTraybake · 15/02/2025 19:28

Pluvia · 15/02/2025 19:06

His phone's ringing in his pocket and he's not answering. That's not DP showing some kind of sensitivity.

We managed perfectly well before mobiles, such a boring thing to get het up about 🤷‍♀️

malmi · 15/02/2025 19:40

Let me get this straight

"AIBU to be annoyed that he's ignoring/missing my calls after I ignored/missed his call?"

......... YABU

FreddoSwaggins · 15/02/2025 20:01

Possible it was an accidental dial as he took his phone out of his pocket , to do somethinh, so he hung up - which just happened as you answered. Then put his phone down to do whatever he was doing to help set up.

Why dont you just carry on trying against all odds getting ready- don't add calling him multiple times and posting on MN to your tasks - and then ask him why he called when you see him at the event.

Laiste · 15/02/2025 20:16

This made me smile.

Yes, it irritates me - but is one of the few things in life which INFURIATES my usually very laid back DH.

His mother does it. He was ranting about it only a few nights ago. I could hear him downstairs:

''WTF? Has she suddenly been zapped up by bloody aliens ?!?!? bla bla bla''
😅

Original poster

Pluvia · 16/02/2025 13:08

FreddoSwaggins · 15/02/2025 20:01

Why dont you just carry on trying against all odds getting ready- don't add calling him multiple times and posting on MN to your tasks - and then ask him why he called when you see him at the event.

You're a very kind person! No, the initial call turned out to have been to ask me to bring binbags: the venue didn't supply them and they were needed at the end of the night for all the empties. I asked why my three calls weren't answered and got 'Oh, I was talking to Ollie.' It was also expected that I'd go home and collect the binbags. So I had to put that idea straight.

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