Leave night shift DH with DC on a Sunday

[HotCrunchyCrumpet]

I cannot see a way forward at the moment, I need to know if I just have to suck this up or whether it’s not just me.

DH has worked night shifts ever since I first met him, used to be five nights and would get days off in lieu if it turned into 6/7 shifts. That’s no more and most weeks it’s six shifts a week, with periods of 3-4 weeks when it’s seven.

2 DC at different drop offs, he does one in the morning and I do the other. He has to split his sleep which is not fun, two bed so I sleep with both DC as DH wakes me at 3-5am whenever he gets home and one DC still breastfeeds. Silver lining he has no work outside of it, I typically have to work evenings and one full afternoon at the weekend.

DH will wake up 1-2pm on the weekends and then off to work at 5-6pm. Asked him yesterday to watch DCs as I have a mountain of work and a job application to get through he said no problem. Roll on today and his friends have invited him for dinnner. I get it, he doesn’t get to see them in the day but if work finishes he’ll often see them then (they are also night owls). I now face sleeping and waking up at 1am to get everything sorted.

He’ll often cook whereas I don’t tend to, I’ll do laundry/make sure food is in. I got a cleaner as I couldn’t keep on top of it.

I think it might just be life but I’m weary of it always being me doing bedtimes and falling asleep with the DC as I’m shattered so no time alone. DH won’t change his work, day shifts wouldn’t work as we couldn’t sort one DC with my work. I realise this is long and a moan out to the greater universe as I don’t think we can change anything apart from hope it gets easier as DC get older.

I don't fully understand the post. Why do you need to get up at 1am and get things sorted? Why does your DP wake you up between 3-5am? What do you mean by there are 2 beds? 2 beds in the whole house and you and DC share a bed?

You don’t need to wake up at 1am to sort stuff; either you get your DH to sort stuff when he is awake in the day - he seems to have 4 hours or so before he goes to work - or you sort things between the hours of 7pm - 10pm when the children are in bed and you’re not in bed.

you need to sort out sleeping arrangements though long term as it’s not going to work. I’m assuming it’s a 2 bed house - you sleep with the 2 children and your DH has the other room.

is there any capacity to move? Convert the loft? Change another room into a bedroom?

Or he takes a day job and you shift the children (childcare arrangements?) so you can sort them both out in the morning / at night. It would be easier if you’re both doing days.

What hours do you both work?

Is your dh working overtime? Otherwise 7 days of nights for 3-4 weeks in a row is an awful lot of hours?