Left out of high school friends reunion

[Kazia]

Back in secondary school I had 5 really close friends, we did everything together. After school the group slowly started to fall apart. One girl went abroad for uni, some just started new friendships at uni doing their own thing etc. We are now all mid-20s. I still message 2 of them as individuals but not the other 2.

Opened instagram tonight to them having posted pictures all out for dinner in the nearest city. One of them captioned hers “first time we are all together in 8 years, talk about Galentines” another said “when you get the gang back together and everyone makes it”. Clearly they didn’t feel like I was part of the group.

The only reason I can think of why I’m not invited is because I have a 1 year old. 2 of them are engaged and one of them is married so it’s not like they didn’t invited me as the thought “oh she’s not single so won’t want to join”.

AIBU to be really hurt I wasn’t invited? Would it be rude for me to ask why?

You have nothing to lose by asking them. It won't change anything & they'll probably just fob you off withbsom bs, but at least it might make you feel a bit better to tell them exactly what you think of them. Then forget them, they're not worth your time no more!xx

Hugs that it awful. Honestly just unfriend them all on social media. If you want to still send the odd text to the ones you are in contact with you can do that without seeing crap like that.

I suppose you have nothing to lose by asking one of the two you keep in touch with, but you may not get an honest answer.

I’d be tempted to comment on the photos along the lines of “any reason why I wasn’t invited? I feel hurt that I wasn’t” and put them on the spot. People rely on other people not saying anything at times like this.

They won’t give an answer. They might just have thought you couldn’t make it.

My DD invited her university friends to a party she was organising - 2 years after they left. The women all replied separately with excuses: seeing parents, on holiday, already at a wedding etc. Except they then posted pictures of their evening out together. DD has a zillion friends so they were no loss and plenty of friends did make the effort. It’s at times like this you realise who your real friends are. Essentially not flaky ones who ignore you. So unfriend them.

They aren't your friends, even if you have a baby, it doesn't mean you can't go, it's not up to them to decide that for you anyway.
I would never bother with them again. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of asking why you weren't invited but I would unfriend them on everything. Why put yourself through any more upset. They've shown you they aren't your real friends so why keep up with the pretence.

Yabu. They’ve clearly all been keeping in touch as least a little.

You kept in touch with 2 of them but they have made more effort to keep in touch with each other as a group. This meeting won't have come out of nowhere, chances are they will communicate to some degree. I think you might has interpreted your friendships differently.

If you only keep in touch with two of them and no longer speak to the others then I think that’s your answer.

It’s not like you all still have constant contact and they’ve excluded you, you’re the one who isn’t in contact with the whole group anymore, is there a reason you’re only in touch with two of them?

Kindly, it doesn't sound like the group started to fall apart. It sounds like you drifted. It's hard for an outsider would know why that is. Do they have form for being unkind or is this just one of those things where sometimes people fall off social groups?

Even if you're no longer in contact with a couple of them, you would think the two that you are in contact would still invite you.