To be upset we are moving

Actuallydontlikechange · 2025-02-14T21:22:50+00:00

Moving house next week. I’m the one who wanted to move and instigated it when I found this new place. Now I’m heartbroken and can’t stop crying on and off. All of a sudden the things I was frustrated with I don’t care about. I’m looking around my house and I can’t believe I won’t be here next week. My husband is understandly very confused by my sudden reaction. I’m confused. I’m taking my daughter out of her nursery that she adores as it’s too far to go to from our new location and she’s going to a new one and I’m feeling so guilty. I wanted this, and there are so many positives to this move but it’s come so quickly and now I don’t want to leave. But it’s too late now. I’m a mess.

Eenameenadeeka · 14/02/2025 21:26

I think it's common to worry in the stress of it all and wonder if you made the right choice. What are your reasons for moving?

Ablondiebutagoody · 14/02/2025 21:27

What are the positives?

Original poster

Actuallydontlikechange · 14/02/2025 21:34

We need somewhere bigger as our place is getting cramped, it’s a double room and an office room so not big enough for our family now. This house has a lot more space, bigger kitchen, bigger bathroom. DD gets her own proper room. We’re moving out of the city centre to outside so it’s a 30min drive away and we basically got more space for less money. So financially it makes sense. Closer to family and friends overall. Closer to work.
we have a lot of memories where we are now, we’ve been here 15 years and had our DD here. Love being in the centre and a walk away from everything. But we are cramped and can’t afford anywhere bigger here at all.
all of a sudden I’m sad DD won’t be sharing a room with us.

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Dillydollydingdong · 14/02/2025 21:37

You'll feel better when you're in the new house. It sounds perfect.

Ablondiebutagoody · 14/02/2025 21:38

It sounds ideal. I've often felt the same......until seeing the place on the morning of the move, emptied of our things. It's like the house turns back into any old pile of bricks.

Also, pretty sure that DD will be in with you plenty!

Pippa12 · 14/02/2025 21:58

This happened to me, I was heartbroken moving from one of our houses. My heart still pines for it now. But my head knows my heart wears rose tinted glasses and that house was far too small, and although it had served its purpose, it was time to move on. Accept you’ll mourn your home and fond memories, but it annoyed you for good reason!

Good luck with your move!

AngeloMysterioso · 14/02/2025 22:07

Actuallydontlikechange · 14/02/2025 21:34

We need somewhere bigger as our place is getting cramped, it’s a double room and an office room so not big enough for our family now. This house has a lot more space, bigger kitchen, bigger bathroom. DD gets her own proper room. We’re moving out of the city centre to outside so it’s a 30min drive away and we basically got more space for less money. So financially it makes sense. Closer to family and friends overall. Closer to work.
we have a lot of memories where we are now, we’ve been here 15 years and had our DD here. Love being in the centre and a walk away from everything. But we are cramped and can’t afford anywhere bigger here at all.
all of a sudden I’m sad DD won’t be sharing a room with us.

Gosh I feel like I could have written this. We're moving next week, from a tiny home a 10 minute walk from the centre of our lovely town, to a much bigger, much nicer home... in a village in the middle of nowhere. New school/nursery for DC. Longer commute for DH and me (much longer in my case, it was 5 minutes before).

I will really miss living where I do and wish we didn't have to leave, but it's an expensive town and for our budget there's no way we'd be able to get anything nearly as nice or as big around here. I just have to hope that it turns out to be the right thing for the DC. But I have spent a lot of the last couple of days in tears!

Bluevelvetsofa · 14/02/2025 22:22

Everything is a compromise and you’re moving to give your family a better quality of life and space. Fifteen years is a long time, so of course you’ll miss it and the life you had there.

But this is a new chapter, with new experiences, maybe new challenges and new happy times. It will feel strange at first, maybe for a while, but you’ll get settled, things will find their place and your house will become familiar.

Bluesandwhites · 14/02/2025 22:57

OP, the reasons for moving are all valid and make sense. You state you are moving somewhere 30 minutes drive away so not too far, you could still keep in touch with people and places. It sounds as if the moving process has happened very quickly, faster than you expected, so you are having a wobble.
Just give your new home a chance, I'm sure you will appreciate more space straight away.

Littletreefrog · 14/02/2025 22:59

Honestly I have never moved out of any house without a bit of a cry and some of them were horrendous. It's normal, it will all be fine in the end.

Soonenough · 14/02/2025 23:05

I am the opposite in that I know I should move to a smaller house now that DCs are grown . But I just don't want to think about it . Been here over 24 years and hate the thought of packing up and leaving the house . But complain regularly that it is too big for me to keep on top of maintaining it.

FilthyforFirth · 14/02/2025 23:13

If she is at nursery, great time to move, she will quickly settle and presumably be with kids she is likely to go to school with? Much worse once they are already at school in my opinion. Good luck

doodleygirl · 14/02/2025 23:20

We moved house January 3rd, downsized from a very happy family house, it was my decision and I loved the house we were moving to. On the day of the move I was a wreck, left my husband to deal with it all and hid at my friends house all day!

Four weeks later I am so happy we moved, love our new house and have no regrets.

i think this is all part of the moving process, I’m sure you will love your new home.

Echobelly · 14/02/2025 23:23

You're doing the right thing. DD needs her own space and she's too young to be really attached to nursery. My oldest was very happy at nursery but totally fine moving to a new one at 3, honestly it feels like less of a big deal to them than it does to you.

You've obviously got a lot of memories associated with your current place but you can't bring your dd up there, as you know.

Good luck with your move.

MrsTigerface · 14/02/2025 23:43

A few years ago a friend if mine had similar wobbles prior to moving, and for the first couple of weeks afterwards she was tearful, missing her old house. But…in the same way that your new house sounds, her new house ticked all the boxes her old one didn’t and after a while she did love it. I am sure you will, too. Your new home sounds amazing, and perfect for you and your family.

Eenameenadeeka · 15/02/2025 00:36

It sounds like it's definitely a great move for your family, I'm sure you will love it. It's also normal to feel a bit sad too, but it sounds like it will be very positive for you.

Original poster

Actuallydontlikechange · 15/02/2025 03:30

AngeloMysterioso · 14/02/2025 22:07

Gosh I feel like I could have written this. We're moving next week, from a tiny home a 10 minute walk from the centre of our lovely town, to a much bigger, much nicer home... in a village in the middle of nowhere. New school/nursery for DC. Longer commute for DH and me (much longer in my case, it was 5 minutes before).

I will really miss living where I do and wish we didn't have to leave, but it's an expensive town and for our budget there's no way we'd be able to get anything nearly as nice or as big around here. I just have to hope that it turns out to be the right thing for the DC. But I have spent a lot of the last couple of days in tears!

Show quote history

Wow you are in a very similar position to me! I wish we could get somewhere bigger in our price range here too but we just can’t. I’m still up now because I can’t stop thinking about it.
good luck with your move, hope it goes well :)

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Original poster

Actuallydontlikechange · 15/02/2025 03:33

@Echobelly thank you, glad your DC was ok moving to a different nursery. I keep having pangs of guilt as my DD loves her nursery so much, but it won’t be feasible to drive at least half hour each way :(

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BaMamma · 15/02/2025 03:36

It's just last minute wobblies.
I spent the first night in my new house unable to sleep worried that I'd made a terrible mistake! It's fine now, don't know what got into me.

Original poster

Actuallydontlikechange · 15/02/2025 03:36

@FilthyforFirth thats a good point, she’s starting school in 2026

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Original poster

Actuallydontlikechange · 15/02/2025 03:40

I think because I’ve been wanting to move for so long but we couldn’t afford anywhere in the city we are in, and been so negative about where we live (lack of space, the tiniest kitchen, constant damp in bedroom and feeezing in winter) I’d forgotten the good things about where we are and now all of a sudden we are actually going and I’m so upset and doubting it all. And I hate that I’m feeling this way!

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Pepperama · 15/02/2025 03:51

Just to share my experience. We moved when DS was 3 years old and again when he was 8. The move when he was 3 was so much easier even though he missed his nursery for a couple of days. Made great friends quickly and settled without problems and then went up to school with them the year after. Own room didn’t mean he didn’t still end up in our bed regularly for a (long) while. At 8, he struggled much more and even years later is sometimes talking about being sad he had to leave.