Uncle not bothering with nephew

[Familynightmare1]

I don't think I am being unreasonable but here goes. My son's uncle didn't even bother wishing my son happy birthday (some weeks ago) let alone get him a gift. He's his only nephew and pretty much his only family. He's single, always has been but I mean really, not to even send a HB message?. Aibu to not bother to help facilitate this relationship anymore?

My brother is like that with my kids. It used to upset me but I’ve accepted it now.

Honestly?

I have twelve nieces and nephews.

I don't remember their birthdays and we don't really do presents by mutual agreement as it got ridiculous a few years ago,

Depends ?
how old is nephew ?
not all families do birthdays messsges gifts the same as your expectations

is he a nice person? Does he stay in touch ? Has uncle got MH or other issues taking up his energy ?
does he engage nicely when he sees nephew ?

maybe he will be a better uncle when nephew is older ?
it’s really your husbands job to facilitate any relationship between his brother and son

what does DH think if his brothers slack attitude?
will you have a chat with uncle about your disappointment ?

Not everyone is interested in your kids . People have their own lives and priorities and unfortunately your child isn’t theirs . Nothing to get upset about .

When you say your son's uncle, do you mean your brother OP, or your partner's brother? Either way it's not good, but so many men don't even think about someone else's birthday unless it's literally drummed into them, every day for a month beforehand, and even then, they'd probably only get a cheap and nasty card. If it's your brother, you will know how he was raised, and should give him a kick in the pants for forgetting. If it's your BIL, I'd tell him that you're disappointed he forgot his only nephew's birthday card, and if he wants a relationship with any of you, he needs to make more effort.

My brother was the same.
His tune changed years later when he had his own

My children’s uncles don’t wish them a happy birthday, never have, if it wasn’t for my sister in laws then they wouldn’t receive a birthday wish or a gift.

I have just 2 nephews and have no idea when their birthdays are. In fact, I would not be able to point them out in a line up.

My brother in law is the same. He has marginally improved since he got married. But it’s too little too late IMO. I stopped bothering with him when he made it clear my children weren’t worth bothering with. We barely speak to him these days

Same. It hurts me too.

My brother has no children, and he really doesn't "get it".

Dh’s sister the same. Nearly 20 years of no card, no wishing them happy birthday. Christmas same.

this is after years of dh always treating her kids- they’re older but he got them something for Christmas/birthday until they graduated uni.