Thinking back to my primary school days and how everyone has turned out

[Granoila]

I am in my late 20s and have recently been reflecting after having a conversation with an old friend about where our primary class mates have all ended up in life.
For context it was a one form entry primary school on the edge of a very deprived town, some more affluent kids from rural areas. The vast majority of my classmates were pretty hard done by financially, mostly council houses with few exceptions.

Basically what I’ve been reflecting on is how if we separated everyone into the friendship group they spent most time with in primary, all the members of that group have had fairly similar outcomes, even though this doesn’t always make sense in terms of their family life or background.

For example, in our year of 30 kids, 6 have gotten a university education, all girls. 3 of them were close friends, pretty much known as the “smart” kids. The other 3 were the 3 most conventionally attractive girls in our year, but they were quiet, they have done degrees but maybe not as “academic” as the other 3 (think Law and Immunology vs Sociology and Physiotherapy).
This continues with my friendship group, all of my primary school friends and I have ended up in careers that don’t require a university education, so nursery teacher, hairdresser, office admin work. We all did college courses though. Then there is a group who aren’t really doing anything, every single one of them has a child before turning 21, some of them I’m friends with now and they haven’t really worked at all or any work they have done has been shop work or similar.

For the boys it’s a slightly different story of 3 groups, one group have all ended up doing apprenticeships and work in Aeronautical Engineering/Ship Building. One group have all ended up in traditional trade jobs and one group all seem to be doing not much of anything.

Im thinking it’s really odd how these primary school friendships have so accurately grouped our class into groups that reflect our outcomes as adults. We didn’t all go to secondary school together and most of the friendships didn’t sustain. Also the backgrounds within these groups are massively different, from affluent rural families to kids who grew up on the breadline and dealt with homelessness.

AIBU to think this is odd? Is it true for your primary school class or are we a bit of an anomaly?

People always say you are the average of the five friends you spend the most time with. It's why getting in with the wrong crowd can doom your life prospects.

Growing up in Scotland my mum's favourite phrase was "fly with the craws, get shot with the craws".

Im thinking it’s really odd how these primary school friendships have so accurately grouped our class into groups that reflect our outcomes as adults.

They weren’t grouped by destiny, the people you spend loads of time with influence you. We all want to be like our pals. You are the company you keep, and all that.

"Think Law and Immunology v Sociology and Physiotherapy"

You clearly have no idea what constitutes more or less "academic"

Nursery teachers do need a degree; most nursery workers aren't teachers.

Around here nursery teachers rarely have a degree. NC/HNC in childcare is all.

Im amazed you know what everyone from primary school got up to I have no idea 😂

Then they're not teachers. They are early years practitioners - previously known as nursery nurses.

I’d argue technicalities there as around here I can’t think of any nursery with anyone higher qualified than that.

I've no idea what my primary school mates are doing now, but I could haZard a guess and I'd probably be right. I think you can make some relatively accurate predictions about people's life paths from primary age. Of course for one two massive life events will change everything, but for many the trajectory isn't that difficult to roughly predict.

In my son's primary school the kids seem to be following along roughly the predicted trajectory. Sad for some as interventions from services might have been able to change the trajectory more positively for one or two, but that doesn't seem to have happened yet...

I also find it strange you know what 30 primary school children who went separately at secondary school are doing in their late 20s. I had no idea a year after leaving school what most people I did A levels with were doing.

Deprived council estate. I think I would have agreed with you but now I'm a lot older think that sometimes you can tell where someone will end up but often not. People always knew that friend 3 was driven to succeed but no one would have predicted how life would turn out for her sister (4).
1 Got an admin job at 16 and is still at the same place
2 Civil service at 18. Now divorced and an alcoholic.
3 Owner of four salons by her late 20's. Three children. Always been single
4 Heroin addict and had four children removed (sister of no. 3)
5 Married well. Children. Massive house in the Surrey Hills. Never worked.
6 Dead from unmanaged diabetes. Left five children. Never worked.
7 Worked at Asda since 16. Four children. Lots of grandchildren
8 Me. Only one to go to university. Now a senior academic. No idea how that happened!
I'm closest to 1 and 3 and the only reason I know a lot of the other stuff is that my mum is still friends with the parent(s) of some of the others and keeps me informed.

Prep school, left 1990 ish

Girls
Dentist
Solicitor
Education Director
Charity Director
Marketing Director
Radiogapher
Nurse
Midwife
Teacher
research scientist
SLT
Retail Manager

Boys
Investment Banker X2
Landowner
Optometrist
Architect
Company Director
IT Manager
Pilot
Retail

couple I don’t know.