Feeling very flat after having a 2nd baby

[Diabladingo]

I had my 2nd baby 3 weeks ago. My first is 3 years old. I have been feeling really flat for about 2 weeks, flat with a tinge of sadness. I didn't have this with my last baby. Last time my husband had a job where he got lots of paternity leave and now he gets 3 weeks. I'm afraid about how I'll cope when he goes back to work. What can I do to lift myself out of this feeling? Not an aibu but posting here for traffic

I went through exactly the same. For me it was baby blues and it did pass but I was so freaked about coping. I don’t think the time of year helps. Like you I was absolutely fine after dc1 so it came as a shock!

Are you able to get out and about? That’s is what helped me. Also having a very good routine for toddler and baby.

Please have a chat with your health visitor or GP about how you're feeling. It's probably baby blues and a bit of anxiety about managing 2 little ones on your own but it's definitely worth keeping an eye on in case you're developing post natal depression. It's not uncommon and it's very treatable but you do need to get some help if that's the case.

Try and get outside for a walk in the fresh air, every day if you can - I know it's pretty grim and cold at the moment but it does help, even if it's just 10/15 mins round the block. Let your DH mind the little ones so you can try and get some rest. Try and eat simple fresh food and keep hydrated, especially if you're breastfeeding. Don't keep it to yourself, talk to your husband and family about how you're feeling. It's honestly very common and nothing to be ashamed of.

Ah I remember feeling just the same with no 2. You have the raging hormones, exhaustion , and probably feel like you've ruined life for ,your 3 year old (you haven't!) On top of that the weather is rubbish and doesn't life anyone's mood.

If it doesn't pass soon, have a chat with your GP or HV in case PND is raising it's head, but also, going from one to two children is a massive difference (I had four close together and the first jump was definitely the worst). You will find new routines when your DH goes back to work and it will get easier.

If you can get out in the fresh air, do, even if it looks grey out. Can you meet up with some other Mums, or pop to a toddler group/baby sensory etc? I found it a sanity saver.

I did develop PND and didn't bond with my second born for quite a few months as a result...I was just so flat and miserable BUT I got help, it passed and eventually having two was awesome fun (then I got pregnant again !)

Hang in there, and don't suffer in silence. Lots and lots of Mums feel the same xx