To think our house is making DC sick

[Concernedmum23]

Please, need some urgent help.

DC is 4. She used to be lively, happy and full of energy. Since about late October time she started getting colds. We thought the usual, oh it's that time of the year. Except the colds never went away and kept on coming. Since then she's been ill and "congested" every single day. She now looks pale, yes I know it's winter time but she has this weird tint to her that she gets when is run down. She has big black bags under her eyes, her energy is higher but restless and irritable. Again, we thought it could be down to her age and a phase but now I'm not so convinced. As well as permanently being congested and always choking on it, she's become highly wired at night time. She wakes up multiple times during the night sleep talking/walking. The other day she randomly woke up, complained of pain, vomited and then was fine?

The thing is we live with family and can not afford to move out at the moment. The house, to me anyways, seems riddled with black mold. When I bring this to DH or his families attention I get shut down. But there is evidence of black mold, in the corners by windows. On the floor, in the carpets, in the corners of the wall/skirting. At its worst it can go up into the ceiling and this is all just the visible external part of it, god knows what is happening behind the walls. I'm worried her sudden onset of illness and not seeming to get better despite the diet change, heavy vitamins ect is due to black mold poisoning? DH claims it's common from old homes to get this, but surely not every week/month? We clean the mold and it seems to return with about that time frame. If left untreated it can get really bad. The wall paper in the house in many places is peeling/bubbled but again it gets dismissed from just being an old house.

I feel convinced that unless it's a random allergy she has developed it's the house doing this. Her symptoms align with black mold exposure but no one seems to take me seriously. Also there isn't really anything we can do about it being in the financial predicament we are in.

The drs don't seem concerned. They have referred her to an ent and said her to sols look big but that it's "normal for most kids and she will grow into them". This feels more than that, and I'm scared for my child despite being shut down by everyone. Gp won't even do basic allergy/asthma tests on her. I'm at a loss and so so worried. Help!!!

If OP really wanted out this situation surely she'd get a job, or get on the council house list. I'm pregnant with a 4 year old. I would never consider not working and have two jobs currently. It's doable

That's disgusting, I'm a healthy adult and I wouldn't subject myself to it let alone any children. If I knew someone who was keeping a child in those conditions I'd report it to social services tbh. Stories in the news of kids dying from things like this over a few years.

Our old house had rising damp and my daughter was constantly ill. We had an inhaler when she was 2 (allergies and eczema as well, for which we were at dermatology and the allergy team at the hospital). I did just think that she was little and normal childhood illnesses.
We moved to a new build 2 years ago and she hasn't had a cold since! She's 5 now, all the congested wheezing and bunged up noses completely gone and been completely healthy since.
If you can't move, I'd recommend getting the dehumidifier pots and putting them in the places where you are seeing mold patches forming. Keep windows open as much as you can to help the airflow.
Are you able to go to the council and get any housing support if you are not in the position to rent privately?
You are definitely not overreacting, they are only little and react to things differently to adults.

My friend had a very similar issue with her house and her daughter, who ended up extremely ill. It didn’t start improving until they moved out and she funded (via crowd funding) expert medical help. Her gp didn’t know what to do. The landlord should fix this, I live in a house that’s over a 100 years old and we have zero mould. It’s a damp problem in the house which needs fixing. Please try and find a way of moving or getting the house fixed.

I grew up in a house like that which has left me with lifelong issues such as allergies, constant rhinitis , sinusitis and asthma .
It might be structural issues causing water ingress so that needs to be investigated.
If no structural issues , then the house needs to be heated , ventilated , dehumidifier run , furniture moved and cleaned behind with mould cleaning products.

I think its hard for op . She's living in someone else's house. When ever she tries to mention the damp she gets closed down by everyone. That's not easy.

It's not easy to private rent anymore. If op and her partner needs help via UC to help with the rent. Its almost impossible to find a landlord who will accept that.

They can't just leave where they are living and go to the council. as the council will say they made themselves intentionally homeless. The only thing is if their family told them to leave in writing . Then they could go via the council.

Even then depending on their area they could wait anything from a few months to 10 years + to get housed . In the mean time they would be in temporary accommodation which could be anything from a really lovely house. To a room with shared facilities and damp /mould/vermin.

Have a look at aspergillosis on the NHS website to see if the symptoms look familiar to you.

@Youagain2025 I agree that it’s hard, especially without income, but their DD is already very sick from living in the house so and the tenants won’t do anything about it so staying just isn’t an option. It might be a gamble but they know their DD is suffering so not changing their housing is pretty much just neglect. It might mean they need to get jobs but that’s only fair.

get a dehumidifier in her room and shut her bedroom door to the rest of the house. Air it out and remove mould with white vinegar first.

It could be the mold and an dehumidifier is an excellent idea but it could also be plain old allergy if they have animals. The dark circles under the eyes are a really common sign of allergic load.
But as you can't move there's little to be done about it. You could speak to a doctor and try a regular antihistamine, or buy an air purifier and try that in her bedroom (and don't let the animals in).

@Porcuporpoise have you seen the pictures OP has shared? Of course it’s the mold. No child should have to live inhaling those spores day in and day out. She may never recover from the damage it’s already done to her and they are about to make a tiny newborn baby live there.

I haven't read the entire thread so apologies if I'm repeating stuff.

For the mould I recommend HG mould remover spray https://amzn.eu/d/b3GhdpM and a plug in dehumidifier (much more effective than the pots). You will need to keep cleaning it off regularly since the cause is not going to be addressed.

Just because you can see mould it doesn't mean that is the cause. Similar symptoms in my DC have been caused by low iron in one and gluten intolerance in another. The gluten intolerance symptoms cleared very quickly once we put the child on a gluten free diet so that's quite an easy one to try for a couple of weeks and see if it helps. Iron levels can be checked via the GP.

Exposure to mould and damp makes me very ill, instant asthma and sneezing. I lived in a property that was very damp for about a year. It took a while with dr to figure out what was going on as I thought I was getting flu all the time and having to take so much time off work - then she figured out all my symptoms were an allergy to damp spores. Started taking high dose anti-histamines along with asthma/respiratory stuff and it is manageable if I find myself in a damp environment. But I avoid if possible.

"I don't understand why they shut you down when you mention it!"

I can think of one reason, classic denial response. Some people think that denying and ignoring uncomfortable realities will magically make them go away. It doesn't, but what it can and often does do is make those realities harder to address and makes things worse in the long run.

This is so easy to fix. You have negative air flow inside therefore the wet air that you breathe out is trapped and is attracted to the coolness of the walls where it collects and molds.
you need to increase air flow open all windows for 10 mins a day to allow the air to exchange.
a long term fix is a positive input ventilation system - not stupidly expensive (£300-£500 depending on property size) and super easy to install for a competent diyer

That is one of the landlord's responsibities, to fix structural-related problems like that, it is why the tenants are paying him rent that is considerably above the landlord's mortgage repayment.

Why are you and dh bringing another child into this environment when you suspect it's making your dc ill and you have no hope of moving out in the near future?

@asrl78 If it's a private rental (not sure if it is), it is so much harder to get the landlord to do anything. It is shocking that they aren't "covered by laws" in the same way as social housing is, but they never have been.
We're long-term private renters as, despite both working our arses off, we simply can't afford to buy. Been renting around a decade now.
My first rental property (a single mum at the time) was full of mould. Landlord did nothing because realistically he didn't "have" to. Kept saying he would get the problem sorted but never did.
I saved bloody hard so we could move to a more suitable property.
The place we are in now isn't mouldy, it's lovely in fact, but again the Landlady does naff all. We replaced the broken toilet seats ourselves, for example.when we moved in, as didn't want the toddler hurting herself. The guttering still leaks which ultimately is going to cause issues down the line but we've told her and nothing.
But the main thing for us is that the house is safe for our kids. That's the responsibility of a parent.

We lived in a damp house that we have since demolished and rebuilt on the plot. When we demolished we discovered there was no damp proof course. My DS had all sorts of allergies - snuffled/ sniffed permanently, runny nose etc. As soon as we moved out he improved and now we are in the new house, he’s a different child.

@Concernedmum23 what you can do and apologise if you have but ask to get her tested for allergies at the hospital then you will know

Well it looks like another thread abandoned by an OP! Anyone else getting fed up of these?!

@Concernedmum23 buy mould remover and clean it. Get a small tin of special mould paint and apply over the cleaned area. (Not sure about the carpets). Open the bedroom window for at least 15 mins every morning. Do not dry washing on the radiators, at least in the bedroom. My granddaughter is like this too, especially nursery term. I'd take her to the doctor as well.

The plan is to extend Awaab's law to cover private rentals in due course.

@WorriedRelative I just don't get why Awaab's Law (that poor little boy) only applies to social housing tenants?
Why don't private rental tenants matter?