To want to prioritise my bedroom

[Hangrytonight]

Single mum of 1 Ds (11). Work full time. Assist with ds's hobby 2 X nights pw plus additional full morning on weekends. He has a chore chart which he generally sticks to...washing in basket, room tidy, dishes in sink etc. Ex takes Ds usually from hobby overnight. I spend weekends cleaning, washing, ironing, organising, shopping, prepping for school/work. Ds comes back with attitude before he's regulated into normal routine again. I'm shattered and the mental load of all the life admin is exhausting. The whole house (except my room) is organised, cleaned, etc but I've just never got the energy to sort "my space" and I want to know if it's okay to say "sod it, you can deal with a bit of mess" while I focus on me?

Yubu - you need to provide your child what he's used to regardless
Yanbu - times he got a wake up call

For a start why are you doing the morning at the weekend and not your ex?

Cut back assisting at child's hobby, use that time to clean and gain your weekend back to yourself. He's 11, how much mess can two of you make in a week that you need every weekend to clean.

Could you find some easier ways to do things?

I'm not sure why it takes so long to do your household stuff?

DS can help with more than just putting his clothes in the washing basket at 11. Give him some more chores that he's responsible for or get him to come & help you do stuff so it gets done quicker.

Mine (12) empties bins, puts out recycling, sets & clears the table and can empty the dishwasher & sort of stack it plus can help with the washing. His friend steams his own school uniform too.

I think it's time you had a sit down & a rethink about how to do things op.

Spend some time meal planning (then rotate your meal plans) then do an online food shop. Do some of the chores during the week? Do some batch cooking at the weekend?

If DS is away I'd be finding time to sort my room out & then planning some social activities/gym etc.

If you could afford a cleaner I definitely would even if just once a fortnight