Seeing people differently after accident esp DM

[TheDramaLlama123]

A week ago I had a fall from around a meter and a half high. Bad concussion and poss fracture or bad sprain to both feet. I saw people in a new light following the accident, some for the better and some for the worse.

What really hurt was the response from DM. Called my dm after accident (although I don't remember, only getting info from DD 13 as I was in and out of consciousness ) I'm a single mother and had to call BF to take me to A&E (who has never met kids or any family if at all relevant) my Mum text the next day to see what A&E said, called her and said I was told to rest and stay off feet for a week pending further investigation and I couldn't even bare weight on feet even with crutches.Told her so and they think both feet are fractured.

She never offered to help kids or myself - they are older though - DD13 and DS is 17 but autistic and has been struggling with his mental health inc a couple of suicidal threats in the last 6 months. DD 13 has been looking after us both and then going to school. She didn't ask if we needed anything or if I needed medication. I said I had to take DS to his CHAMs app a day later and she said 'oh well what can you do' no offer of help (she is retired on a pension and CHAMs app is a 15 min walk from both of us) She then didn't check in with me via text let alone a call until I told her I had some complications and was back in A&E alone. Just said let me know what they say. AINBU to feel disappointed that my mother wasn't there for me and my kids in anyway? When she was in A&E a few times over the years I cancelled everything to help her and be there for her. Or AIBU, as she said after I had DD and I was struggling with PND and kids DF had just left us - you made your bed, lay in it.

I don't expect help, she owes me nothing, but even a call would have meant a lot.

On the plus side, I have found out I have amazing friend's and work colleagues who have gone above and beyond for me and my kids. But I wanted my family. Mum is 67 and spends her days going shopping or cinema with her friend. So quite active.

When my husband had a severe stroke at 45, I found out the people who would have my back.

The ones I thought would always be there, didn't show up! The pain has always stayed with me and I have gone very low contact with them. These have been family members who I've always been close to. It still hurts.
Only advice, match her energy. I have never regretted going lc.

Yep, some friendships have never quite recovered from when i was ill 6 years ago. Amazing who did step up though - and I'll be forever grateful.

So sorry what happened to your husband Yeah, I will definitely match my mother's energy. Sadly I think that will be never hearing from her again. Hope your husband recovered well

Yeah, there are amazing people in our lives. And they truly shine at times when we need them

Sorry OP. I know we always say we never expect this and that but I think most of us would expect our mothers to care and help if they are able to.

I would also be very hurt at her lack of giving a shit.

I hope you start feeling better soon and you’re able to get some help and support from friends.

Your Mum is very selfish OP. You are right to be disappointed in her lack of response and you would be within your rights to treat her in kind when she next needs you. It's hurtful behaviour and shows a lack of care for you or her grandchildren.

Until you said about how she treated you when you were left alone with the kids I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that she didn't realise how badly you'd actually been injured and thought you were just a bit bruised. But nope, she's a heartless cow.

It's really really horrible when you can't rely on your own mother to help you. I think I would say something quite sharp to her about giving her the same amount of help when she needs it when she's older. I'm sure she would be happy to call on you for help then.

That accident sounds really awful. I'm so sorry for you.

My mum (and dad) would drop everything for me and my siblings, they are 65&67 and I'd do exactly the same for my kids. That's what family is for, surely!
I hope you are better soon.