Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Moving house

13 replies

SilverDoublet · 13/02/2025 22:12

At the moment we live about a 20 minute walk away from school, it's about a 7 minute drive when traffic is ok.
I have 4 kids and our own house is starting to feel small. As a stay at home parent who wants to get back to work, I'm just finding it so annoying, driving them everywhere, activities after school, different collection times, or else doing the 40 minute round trip walk to school and going back to the house. I want to move and have seen a complete doer upper, needs a Lot Of Work, but we could afford it, it's bigger and it's a 3 minute walk from school. The kids could essentially get themselves to and from school and to most of the activities. There's also a secondary school very close to it too.

Husband hates the house I've seen, even though it's bigger, and says I'm just being lazy re. ferrying kids around.
He hates it cos it needs so much work, along with the fact it's north facing at the back and has a laneway down beside the back garden (possible security issue).

Am I being ridiculous considering this house? It's in a village, 7 mins walk from shops and restaurants, pubs, bus stops and we're a 20 - 25 min walk from all those things. Am I just lazy? I feel like it's my time being wasted as he can cycle everywhere on his own without kids on tow.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 13/02/2025 22:15

Sounds sensible because as they get older and more independent they will want to be closer to school / shops etc. Ok your DH saying you’re lazy, he isn’t the one doing it every day.

mnahmnah · 13/02/2025 22:17

We moved last year and we are 2 minute walk to DC’s secondary school. It’s amazing!

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/02/2025 22:17

You walk fast!

purpleme12 · 13/02/2025 22:19

We do 30 minute walks to places (and longer) every day

No big deal

raysofhope · 13/02/2025 22:19

Location is important, so you aren’t being at all unreasonable to consider that being closer to school/shops is a good thing. On the other hand you do have to love the house itself, or at least the potential it has - if your husband genuinely doesn’t like it I would say it’s a non-starter.

pinkstripeycat · 13/02/2025 22:20

We have an alleyway next to our house where we’ve lived for 15 years. There’s also one across the road. It’s never ever been a security issue. House behind us was burgled and he hasn’t even got a side entrance.

Eenameenadeeka · 14/02/2025 06:01

I don't think you are unreasonable for wanting to be closer, but if it's a lot of work I can see why he's not keen. I also have 4 children (and also have to drive because the closest of their schools is 45 minutes each way to walk) but I think our life would be much harder trying to do serious renovations. I think I'd wait for a more suitable home.

Zonder · 14/02/2025 06:04

How often does he take the kids to school?

I would want to move too. It's great for the kids to be more independent.

Are there any other houses coming up? I would be put off by a doer upper - are either of you into house renovation? Who would do the work?

Pippa12 · 14/02/2025 06:26

We moved for location 2.5 years ago. My children can walk to school, into town, friends houses and (most) activities.

We also bought a project. That bit is hard going and we are still doing it now. Maybe it’s the DIY that’s putting your DH off. My husband absolutely despises doing it on his day off now (we have done kitchen/bathrooms/wallpapering/new windows/boiler etc!) it’s been a money pit really and totally exhausting (we both work and have done majority ourselves)

I wouldn’t move now because of location etc but definitely don’t underestimate the renovation.

SilverDoublet · 14/02/2025 09:28

We wouldn't do it DIY at this stage, I found a builder and got quotes to get it all done. It's within our budget but altogether, it would take most of a year before we could move in. Then after all the massive expense we will still be living next to a laneway with potential anti social behaviour/ security issue, with a North facing garden...but with 2 extra bedrooms, extra bathroom, great location beside school. He thinks it's madness to even consider it. I don't know anymore!

OP posts:
Zonder · 14/02/2025 12:13

Is the anti social behaviour something you already know is happening?

Willoo · 14/02/2025 12:16

Maybe he doesn’t want the huge expense of doing it up. Waiting a year to move is more cost as you’d be paying for 2 houses. No way I’d consider this at all

Pootles34 · 14/02/2025 12:23

I don't think either house sound great. I wouldn't want something that needs doing up even if I could afford to pay someone to do it all - too much mess, stress and noise.

I would focus more on the bigger aspect!

In the short term, could you not get scooters for you and the kids? That would make it much quicker.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page