Maintenance post 18

[Chucklecheeks01]

DD 18 is off to university in September (hopefully). Her dad has stated he will be finishing paying maintenance for her now she is 18. I asked if he would be giving her some sort of contribution whilst at university and he has said no. Her choice to attend university, so she pays.

She will be entitled to a full maintenance loan. I am wondering if I would be seen as unreasonable to ask for a contribution from dad when she is home during the holidays. She has not stayed with him overnight for nearly ten years, I think he has forgotten how much an extra body in the home costs.

DD has SEN, attending university is a big deal (something we never thought would happen). Asking her to get a job at the same time is not feasible.

Dad has always paid maintenance as worked out by the CMS.

@Chucklecheeks01 Chuckle well done for getting her to uni you've done an amazing job. I'm sorry your ex doesn't share your aspirations for her. He sounds like a total lowlife. I can't understand parents who wouldn't do everything to support their kids! I hope you get somewhere with him or manage to find a source of extra funding. Are there are funds/bursaries/scholarship paths that you can access given your daughter has SEN?? It's worth enquiring with the university directly and they may be able to sign post you elsewhere if they can't help. I know the uni I went to the alumni (ex students) fund lots of scholarships etc for students from underprivileged backgrounds. I wish I had asked for some help as I'm still paying my student loan off now!

Yes what @Cakeandusername said.
https://www.gov.uk/disabled-students-allowance-dsa

I would still ask him and argue your case even if it’s likely he won’t do it. My ex did divert some of the money he gave to me to my son instead, but to be honest there were other things he had to pay for too, even though my son got the full maintenance loan. For example, deposits for accommodation and the first month’s rent when not in halls, because it was always due before the maintenance loan came through. And they are home for 5 months of the year when they first start, which is almost half of it, so ideally he should step up. But he sounds selfish though and not bothered about helping his daughter.
You can often get bursaries though, my son got £2k a year towards costs.

My brother stopped paying maintenance to his ex-wife when his children turned 18 - but while they were still studying or training, he paid the money direct to the children themselves instead. His ex was furious because they were still living at home, but my brother's reasoning (which I think was correct for the particular circumstances at the time, which were rather complicated) was that it was up to her to work out with the kids themselves what they might contribute to bills etc out of what he gave them and their earnings from part-time work etc.

I'm guessing, though, that if your ex isn't supportive of his daughter's choice to go to uni, he wouldn't be willing even to pay something direct.

Legally, he's obviously not obliged to, but morally, he's being a cunt.

DSA is not a cash amount given to students, it is for extra equipment and things like personal support, an autism support worker (don't know if that applies to your DD) or mentoring.

I would talk to your DDs university now if she has an unconditional offer as she needs to provide proof of her disability and be assessed by the uni disability office as to what support she needs.

I wouldn't bother asking, he's already said he won't. My ex made his last maintenance payment on DS 18th birthday and even took a savings account that DS grandmother had paid into every year but ex had in.his name. When they have that attitude towards their children and money then you're wasting your breath.

It's not unreasonable to ask but it sounds like he has already decided. My ex has already said he won't be paying any more once the CMS can no longer enforce it. Morally they should help if they can afford to but no-one can make them.

Saying that, with full loan, depending on where she is going, she may well be fine.