To have a weekend away without the kids?

[OverTheRaincloud]

Some university friends are arranging a get together in a couple of months. We are scattered around the UK now so never see each other as a group except for weddings (which haven't been for a while as almost all are coupled up).

It's a way away for me, so would definitely involve Saturday night away, and leaving early Saturday morning, coming back late on Sunday.

I've never had a night away from the kids except from when I've been in hospital. DH is on board (and will get his parents over to help out) but I can't shake the feeling of guilt around it. It might be because DD2 (4 years old) has just started school (DD1 is in year 1) so now I feel like I don't see that much of them except on weekends because of school and wraparound. And DS (2 year old) is old enough to miss me but not properly understand why.

I can't help feeling I'm maybe being a bit selfish to give up on some nice quality weekend time with the kids, I think it would be different if it was just an evening or afternoon or something but this wipes out a while weekend. And also it's obviously costing a bit with transport and accommodation (not like I'm staying in a luxury hotel or anything though!) Or am I just over thinking and being a martyr?

YABU stay home and give it a miss
YANBU it's fine to go

Thanks for all the reassurance and kind posts! Was thinking I'd either get called selfish or a wally. 😂

For all the posters commenting about the help for DH, yes he can do it alone but three five and under can be tricky by yourself so I don't grudge him it, and DCs do like grandparent time. And I don't have to listen to stories about someone MIL met in a bus stop who has a niece who's doing blah blah blah.

This is fascinating, off to listen! Never thought of this take.

It’s one weekend, go! Don’t be a martyr.

I did something similar when my youngest was two, (of four, the eldest was seven).

I had a lovely night seeing pals I'd not seen in a very long time, but I got absolutely no sleep, due to the heat in the room and the fact I wasn't snuggled up with my DH.

I got back to four very excited to see me children, and never left them alone again until the youngest was around ten. I didn't feel guilty, I knew they'd have a lovely time with their Dad, but it wasn't the best night I'd ever had.

If you go, just try to forget about what they'll be doing and enjoy your night. I thoroughly enjoyed my evening, I just wish I could have got home that night!

Absolutely go, we all need to have time to ourselves and you will feel so much better for it! I’m not sure why everyone’s got such a problem with your in-laws helping. I’ve stayed with my sister when her husbands away and my mum has been over when I’ve had the kids on my own for a couple of days sometimes. They might just enjoy spending time with their son and grandchildren and why not have a bit of extra company and a spare pair of hands. Especially if it helps to reassure OP on the first time she has been away from her kids! Enjoy!!

I’m more concerned that at present 8% of people think you’re unreasonable … perhaps through jealousy ..

Get that bag packed girl , it will do the kids good . Youl get a break and your DH may realise how much you do for the family .
The kids will be fine and youl come back refreshed .

I genuinely believe that it is beneficial for my DC to have days away and occasional sleepovers with their grandparents or my sibling. DC has an amazing time being spoiled by people who adore them. They've been doing it since they were small, it's totally normal for them, so they have never had any anxiety about it at all - which is why I think it's been so beneficial.
Usually when I go away it's to do sport. I think that it is important for my child to see: a) being active is something we value b) mothers are people, with interests of their own. There's literally nothing to feel guilty about.

I would have zero guilt about something like this, it’s not like you bugger off every weekend.

the only thing that raises an eyebrow for me is that your DH can’t manage to parent his children for a weekend without his own parent’s help.

For all the posters commenting about the help for DH, yes he can do it alone but three five and under can be tricky by yourself so I don't grudge him it

How often do you do it on your own?

THIS THIS THIS

This! Why isn't he capable on his own?

Don't even think twice about it!
Go! Have fun!

DS is 20 now and I'm gladder than glad that I took steps to prioritise and cherish my friendships over the years. Not only for the fun times we've had, but it's my friends who have got me through bereavement, menopause, DS's diagnosis with additional needs... and who'll get me through the empty nest syndrome to come.

Never over night!

"the kids will have some lovely bonding time with your husband"

or their grandparents

I'm an older parent. I want as much time with my children as I can get. Time is precious.