Not coping well

[flowrida]

Everything just feels really shit at the moment. I'm trying to help a relative suffering with alcoholism which is draining as they won't get help.

My marriage is not good. Issues with no sex or intimacy and just generally being more like housemates because we have no time and are so exhausted from daily life. No help with dc.

My eldests dad has been giving me grief and it's resurfacing all the old issues and anxieties I went through when we were together. He is incredibly controlling and relentless when he gets something in his head regarding our son and now son is suffering because of it.

My life is just work, chores, kids. No time or money for anything fun. All the life admin falls to me. I am drained and feel low and on the verge of tears most of the time. I've been drinking in the evenings which I know is not helping my overall mood but for a few hours it just takes the edge off.

If it wasn't for my dc I would happily take myself off somewhere for a break. I just feel like I need to sleep and be away from everyone who is giving me shit.

Sadly, a person can only address their own alcohol problem. Nothing you do can force this. You could consider Al-Anon UK for some support for yourself, or posting on alcohol section on Mumsnet to talk about this.

How old is your eldest? Do you have to have contact with his father and if so could this be cut down to the bare minimum?

Overall, it sounds like you’re suffering with depression, and need to be signed off work for a while, maybe with some medication and counselling, to prevent a complete crisis. I would recommend that you call your GP and take that first step xx

You sound as though you have a lot going on OP.
Harsh as it sounds I think you should stop trying to help your alcoholic relative. There is absolutely no point until they get to the point of recognising their alcoholism and want to actively do something about it themself. It's got to come from them.
You would at least then have a bit more time and emotional energy to deal with the other things going on in your life.

You don't have very good boundaries and are exhausting yourself trying to please everyone.

You can't help an alcoholic if they don't want to help themselves. You can't make them see the error of their ways. If they've got you running around after them then just stop. Encourage them to see their GP.

Why are you in contact with your ex? Use a co-parenting app and block them. Don't let them in the house and if they are abusive then contact a domestic abuse organisation for advice.

Like everyone else, your husband is walking all over you. You have a partner and are meant to be a team. He doesn't just get to dump everything on you and skip off.

It seems like the easy option is to let everyone have their own way at your expense but you end up exhausted, overwhelmed and drinking too much.