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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I tell his girlfriend?

5 replies

questioneverything1 · 12/02/2025 21:01

So, I met a guy at the gym, we instantly hit it off, we had an undeniable connection, find out he’s not single so I keep it on a friend level, im not into sharing men.
2/3 months later he says, he found his gf texting another man and it wasn’t the first time and he can’t trust her anymore, so he ended it.
We started chatting outside the gym, eventually going on coffee dates, restaurants, pubs, meeting if only for 10 mins in the car just to see each other, I told him I wanted to take sex slow as he’s just come out of a relationship and we waited 3
Months. He never once put pressure on me, he was a great communicator, kind, thoughtful, funny, sex was the best I’d ever had - the perfect boyfriend.
A year later, I get a frantic phone call from him, he lied, he never left his gf and she’d been in his phone and has seen messages. As far as she knows (what he told her) we just became friendly and ended up having sex a few times, he begged me to back his story up if she was to call me, I was in complete shock, we loved each other and had so many plans 🙄 the gf did call and I stupidly backed him up, I think because she was so lovely and confused I didn’t want to hurt her, so I went along with what he said,
I blocked him and haven’t had any contact since, this was September and ever since I’ve been questioning if I did the right thing, should tell her the truth or leave it alone.
Any advice welcome

OP posts:
RainJacket · 12/02/2025 21:04

She deserves to know the truth about him. It will hurt her more to waste her life with a lying cheater.

DaniMontyRae · 12/02/2025 21:06

You should have told her the truth. You just helped him gaslight her - horrible way to treat a person.

questioneverything1 · 12/02/2025 21:06

@RainJacket I just don't want her thinking I'm bitter, I have every single message and picture we ever sent so I can back ip what I'm saying, I feel like too much tone has passed

OP posts:
questioneverything1 · 12/02/2025 21:06

time*

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 12/02/2025 21:06

You could tell her if you think it will make your life better. But I doubt it will.
Honestly it's best you just forget both of them exist. She'll find out soon enough how he is, if she hadn't already clocked.
The fact is he thought the scenario in which you 'made friends and whoops, had sex several times' would be acceptable to his girlfriend. So she must know he's scum and simply not care.
Move on with your life. X

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