I feel like I am going insane

[BeTicklishOtter]

Hi, so for the past year or so my life has took a complete 360 turn - my uncle passed away, my brother in law passed away from terminal cancer 6 months after he and my sister got married. My nan has been diagnosed with terminal cancer she was given 6 months. This was 6 months and her health is just rapidly deteriorating and I love my nan so much she is like a 2nd mother to me. My mum has had a stroke from all the stress of looking after my nan + my brother in law and her brother passing away.

i have recently left a very violent/emotional dv relationship after 5 years. For years constantly put down and degraded to be told im ugly and fat to the point I make my self feel sick when I look in the mirror.

on top of everything I work 40 hours a week (reduced hours is not optional) , I am raising my two children alone (with childcare/family help) - I am finding everything very very over whelming to the point it it’s psychically making me sick it. My head constantly hurt I constantly feel like I’m going to pass out or be sick I can feel my heart beat racing rapidly I have no friends really or anyone to speak to and I am just so stuck right now I’ve completely lost my self

advice please

I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time. Abusive relationships do leave you feeling totally alone, as your abuser no doubt isolated you from existing friends and discouraged you from making more. But you will find your people. I left an abusive relationship 5 years ago and my son and I had to move back to my home town and effectively "start again", during Covid. But we've managed. I've got lovely local friends now and my life is still incredibly tough and stressful, but I do feel I have a lot of emotional support that I never had in the relationship. Are you entitled to any benefits?
I had to go part-time because of my son's emotional needs and am able to manage my mental health better than I did. But I need a universal credit top-up to manage it. Sending strength x

Sounds like you're burnt out and honestly I'm not surprised, that's a lot of emotional distress in a short space of time.

If you're already part time and reducing hours further isn't an option, I'd suggest going on sick leave for a while

Okay op

You need to get organised

Can you stop working, financially, and apply for benefits to tide you over. You'd have 6 weeks until you get your universal credit, iirc

You can apply to be a carer for your poor dm x

Make a list of bills etc and see what can be cut. Remember its not forever, it's just to get you through 2025. Can you take a couple of sick days to rest and organise your thoughts?

I'm so sorry for your losses and the stress you're dealing with - well done for getting away from your ex xx

Oh you poor love, you have a lot going on! Make an appointment with your GP and talk through how you're feeling with them. They may sign you off for a few weeks so you can get some rest and recuperation. Also a referral for some talking therapy and possibly medication in the short term.

I know it's difficult but try and prioritise your own wellbeing whenever you can. Being a 'good enough' mum and daughter is ok for now. You need to prioritise getting enough sleep, eating simple healthy food, keeping hydrated and getting out for a walk in the fresh air every day if you can, even if it's only 10 minutes around the block. These might seem like trivial things but honestly it will make a difference to how you feel. I would recommend the CALM app too, there are lots of mindfulness meditation which help calm your nervous system which is in overload. Practicing the breathing techniques will help with your physical symptoms of stress. Take care of yourself lovely 💐