DS (12) shoved against a wall at school – wwyd?

[cpert1975]

Feeling really upset and need some perspective. DS12 (Y7) came home today and told me he was shoved hard against a wall by another boy at school. It happened in the corridor between lessons, and apparently, the other boy was messing about and “just did it” for no reason. DS isn’t hurt but said it shocked him and made him feel rubbish. He’s quite a sensitive soul and wouldn’t retaliate.

I asked if he told a teacher, and he said no because “it wasn’t a big deal” and he didn’t want to make a fuss. But I think it is a big deal – it’s completely unacceptable. I don’t know if this boy has done anything before, but DS has mentioned that he can be a bit of a troublemaker.

Would you contact the school? I don’t want to be that parent, but I also don’t want this escalating into proper bullying. I’m also worried DS will feel like he has to just put up with this sort of thing. DH thinks we should leave it unless it happens again, but I’m not sure.

Wwyd? Am I overreacting?

I wouldn't contact the school, DS would be mortified, but I would tell him to retaliate if/when it happens again.

I wouldn't do anything this time, but if he does it again I would speak to student support/head of year.

My DD is in year 7 and there’s been a fair bit more rough handedness since she started secondary compared to primary. If it’s a one off then it’s part and parcel of secondary and you can’t micro manage everything. wait to see if it happens again. If your DS is fine no need to make a drama out of it. Take it on the chin and be glad he tells you these things (if he thinks you’re going to escalate it the openness will likely stop)

I get what you’re saying, and I know secondary is a different ballgame compared to primary, but I don’t think kids should just have to “take it on the chin” when someone shoves them for no reason. I’m not about to go marching into the school demanding action, but I don’t want DS thinking this kind of thing is just normal and he has to put up with it.

Totally agree that if I go in all guns blazing, he’ll stop telling me things, which is the last thing I want. I guess I just worry about where the line is between normal rough and tumble and something that could turn into a bigger issue. Maybe I’ll have a quiet word with him about standing up for himself and see if anything else happens before deciding what to do.

Sorry i meant for you to take it on the chin not him! It’s not easy i know. It’s been a baptism of fire my DD starting year 7, so much trickiness to navigate but if it seems like it may be a one off but definitely keep an eye out for anything else