Is it ever ok to come onto a married man?

[riddlemeridley]

My husband's ex who he has a child with came onto him in our home while she was collecting their daughter, he thinks because we have custody she's trying to get him back to get dd back so she told him she wants to try again and tried to kiss him knowing he is married.

Dh shut her down immediately but she seems to think she has done nothing wrong as she was just giving him options and thinks it's none of my business.
What would you think if someone did this to your husband? Would you think she had every right to give him the option and it was between them or was wrong because she knows he's married to someone else.
I'm not insecure and I know he wouldn't go back, but I just think it's cheeky to think she's entitled to try it on just because she was with him before me.

I think you know the answer. ❤️Sorry this happened x

She was totally out of order OP.

DH’s ex tried this after I had our first DC. Looking back, she was spiralling. We were married and had a baby, she had left him 5 years before this.

DH stopped her coming into our home after it. Drop offs were on the doorstep from this point on. The friendliness was over too, curt conversations over logistics of DSC only.

It is only acceptable to come on to a married man, if you are married to that married man!

No other situations are acceptable. Ever.

Only if you're his wife!

If said married man is your husband... or, maybe, if he's a serial killer holding you captive and you are trying to persuade him to let you go (I clearly watch too much True Crime...)... otherwise, no!

Yes I imagine I'm off the hook for faking polite conversation at the door now.

Silly bint, "giving him options", she thinks quite highly of herself doesn't she!

Your husband shut it down and told you about it, that's the important thing. If anything I'd just pity her for being so desperate and pathetic.

Giving him options is clearly a load of tosh, but even if it wasn't she could give him options verbally "I'm sad that this didn't work out, would you consider giving it another go as a family?". Physically coming on to him is manipulative as it's banking on him being seduced in that moment into cheating on you, thus backing himself into a corner and putting a grenade in your marriage. I suspect it's the easier option for him to explain it away as she was 'just' giving him options as accepting more nefarious motives upsets the peace more - he probably wants a drama free existence with her. I'd want him to understand my perspective though and be togetehr on the same page, not be constantly making excuses for her.

@riddlemeridley she doesnt need to come any further than the garden gate!! she is just a skank trying that on!!

I'm married, but never bothered to "come" onto a man and definitely wouldn't now.
Married one? Why?
Let him enjoy life with his dear wife 😆

Never.

No, it is never ok. It is not ok to come on to anyone that you know to be in a relationship. People who do that are lacking in morals.

You know it wasn't OK, but to her it was.
He put in her place and that's what matters.

Tell your DH that you don't want her in your home ever again. If she is dropping off or picking up, she can wait outside/in the car.

She would not be allowed in the home ever again. She can see the child at the garden gate, as PP have said. No further.

She doesn't want him back. She just wants her child.

Still completely unacceptable, and shows why the child is better off with OP and her DH. Sounds unbalanced and erratic

The OP is focusing on the wrong thing. This woman isn't after her husband.

Clearly there are reasons why she isn't the primary carer, but her flirting with a married man isn't a sign of being a bad parent.

Definitely not ok, i wouldn't allow her in the house again.

That was my thought. Unless there is some massive backstory about how she is unfit etc. etc. then I would imagine she just wants her kid back, not the fella.