Bridezilla- wedding accommodation.

[Bloodybrambles]

Inspired by another thread which was heavily in favour for accommodation being split by PP not per room.

This is going back a couple of years and I actually fell out with a friend. I’m now wondering if maybe she wasn’t being the CF I originally thought she was after reading a similar thread.

A friend was getting married in Scotland and the venue included a B&B. Originally we declined the offer of staying in the B&B (£350 for the two nights) as we were on an extremely tight budget, and was planning on staying in premier inn in the nearby town. After some persuading from the Bride, how she really wanted the ‘bride squad’ to stay in the B&B and after paying for taxi’s we’d not be saving that much money anyway… I felt pressured into agreeing.

Fast forward to a couple of months before the wedding, a text on the group chat says to make it fair, the cost of the B&B would be split per person, not per room. DP said immediately that he’s just drop out as logistics to getting to rural Scotland, especially midweek was less than ideal and it now being £500 for us both to attend was ridiculous. He always thought they were being CF for charging us going rate for the room anyway as they were technically included in the wedding package...

The Bride had also planned a meal the night before for the wedding party that DP wasn’t included in, and we were told that we had to help the day after the wedding to clear up meaning that we would probably not get back home to the early hours.

I called the bride to explain that I was paying for the room myself as I felt it unfair to spring £250 onto DP when he was only really attending as my plus one and there was no way I could afford the £500. I then said that I could bunk in with another bridesmaid (DP staying home) leaving one room free for another couple/attendees to occupy. This was out of the question as the vibe would change and it wasn’t fair to expect the younger bridesmaids to subsidise DP.

Some women become pathetic when it comes to weddings OP and reckon the money fairy comes to subsidize their day as a fairy princess.
She is one of those…

If this was a B&B then surely they set the rates when booking and not the bride.

You book a room at 350 it up to you if one or two people are in it.

It's not about splitting the cost of a full house. Two different things.

I agree with PP. This is rooms in a B&B, where you pay on a per room basis.

When you rent a villa, everyone needs to pay their share of the whole thing because presumably they will be using the facilities of the whole house.

Agree with PP this is different to the per person/per room discussion on another thread. The room costs what the room costs. The bride was a CF.

(Also why would it be 350 for one and 500 for two, if anything surely it gets doubled? Not that that's the point...)

I think the difference here is that the goalposts moved. You accepted the accomadation invite on the premise that it was going to cost £350. However, weeks before the price increased by £150, which then made not feasible for you.

I think in the other thread, the price was being discussed at time of booking, not later.

If the rooms were included in the wedding package, presumably they were trying to recoup as much as possible and the 350/500/700 options were arbitrary and just decided by them according to what they thought they could get away with? Cheeky fuckers indeed!

Hold fast, she was a CF. You were right.

God, I didn't make any of the bridal party spend money on accommodation. They stayed with DH's parents or at our house or just arrived on the day.

Nah she was being a bridezilla and a CF.

If you're going to insist on the wedding party staying at the venue, you subsidise it.

A couple of my close friends got married a few years back and they asked a certain number of guests to stay with them at the venue. They asked us to contribute roughly what it would have cost for us to stay in a local cheap hotel and they subsidised the rest.

The B&B would charge £350 for the room. However, during weddings the venue was closed to the public meaning that the B&G paid for the sole use of the B&B as they were included in the cost of the basic wedding package.

Agree that the unreasonable bit is the goalposts changing once everything had been agreed.

Splitting between people rather than rooms is fair because it balances negatives with positives: if the whole property costs £1,000 a night and 5 people go it’s £200 each. If 10 people go, the property becomes more crowded and it might be more difficult to find a bathroom slot - but now it’s only £100 each, so people don’t mind.

Otherwise, your DP is there taking up bathroom time, kitchen space, living space etc from everybody else, but nobody else sees any benefit from him being there in terms of reduced cost for everyone, they only get the negatives of his presence.

Your first post feels incomplete.

What happened? Did you actually go? What did you pay?

yeah, I was wondering the same!

I think from the moment your friend tried to insist/guilt trip you into staying at the place she wanted rather than the one that was more affordable, she was the CF so wouldn't worry about it.

There was a whole list of CF demands. She was stressed as guests were dropping like flies (her own siblings weren’t going to be staying for the evening reception to start travelling back down..) and I was stressed as I worked out her wedding was going to cost us £1,000 with all the compulsory bells and whistles/she knew I had been made redundant and was only working on a zero hour contract.

We ended up having a huge argument about some other demand. I was sacked as bridesmaid for being negative about the wedding and we haven’t spoken since.

We had been best friends since childhood. Never had a crossed word beforehand and I know it was because we both were stressed/DP was refusing to go along with her demands by the end.

There was quite a few CF demands and that’s not even including the hen do!

I'm also astounded by the cheeky mare saying you had to stay to clean up! She wanted to treat you as staff and charge you for the pleasure of working for her?

We also had to take two cars as I would be picking up relatives from the airport!

I remember going to visit a wedding venue when I was getting married and you had to book the entire venue for exclusive use. The lady showing us around was gleefully telling us how we could charge guests however much we wanted for the rooms and it would really reduce our bill. I was absolutely disgusted and couldn't believe anyone did this, evidently they do.

I think a lot of this started with all these weddings that could be anywhere but look great on photos/insta - stately home, Manor House etc

Most are in the middle of nowhere meaning it's easier to suggest staying 'at the place' - but then expect everyone just to cough up very high rates. There isa lot of 'subtle pressure' too without thinking about cost- my view is if you want to get married away from your home towns or in middle of nowhere and want people to stay there with you - then you as bride and groom pay for that element- people are paying good money out their own budgets just to travel and attend and buy presents etc

At my wedding, I asked a friend to bring another person from the airport they were landing at, their flights were landing within 20 minutes of each other, as a result of that ask, I paid for their hire car.

This is exactly that. Looked great on Insta but I know quite a few people see them in a different light now. Not worth it in my opinion.

What are weddings about?
We got married 30 years ago. Tried to make it affordable for everyone and had the most brilliant day. It's about happiness, not being a film star. Very unfair of the bride to make so many demands.

a few years ago a friend of mine got married in a hotel in the middle of nowhere and the only place to stay was the hotel she was staying in where the rooms were £250 a night for a room on a par with an ibis budget! Needless to say I didn’t stay, didn’t drink and drove home quite early because it was 3 hours drive. Felt held to ransom, attending this wedding would’ve cost me about £500 with present, outfit etc. I wouldn’t mind so much if she lived in that area but she loved two streets away from me. The hotel must’ve been rubbing their hands but it didn’t work out so well for them because I think most people drove home lol

A few years ago, a group of 7 of us were invited to a wedding and the bride said we could stay at the venue. We are a mixed group and equally friends with the bride and groom. As it goes, the other six of my friends I went with was made up of three couples and I was single. I didn’t get a plus one. We were reserved four rooms at £150 per room and I did think it was a bit of a pain for me as it meant me paying £150 and the other six £75. Of course tney were sharing and I had one to myself, but I never asked for that, and they were sharing with their partner. I would’ve just got on with it until one of the others pointed out it was a bit unfair on me and he suggested to the group that we split the combined cost of our four rooms between the seven of us, and everyone happily agreed. My room became the girls “getting ready” room so it worked out well for all.
My friends aren’t short of cash and they were more than happy to do it this way, and I was grateful.

Used to be a thing many years back that if it was an out of town wedding, Bride and Groom paid for a coach from a Central point there and back.

It's a standard way now for the bride and groom to make some money.
Sadly, gone are the days when you could just go to a wedding, enjoy it and come home.
I remember being a bridesmaid and just meeting the bride at the church - none of this attending to her every whim beforehand.