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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Village Gala Day Drama

291 replies

Bronniel · 11/02/2025 22:28

I live in a small Scottish Village, every year there is a Gala Day, I imagine it is similar to a Village Fete in England, but basically It is a lot of local businesses, food vans, live music and some little rides for the kids in the local park, with a parade around the village and a fancy dress competition, it is fairly popular. Also a lot of other events in the village on the weekend surrounding it and competitions for the kids.
Every year there is a Gala Queen, plus some other big roles like crown bearer, maids etc. Basically the Queen gets crowned to kick the day off and prior to that leads the parade in a horse and carriage. It's all very much set in tradition but still popular and the kids enjoy it.
Traditionally the Gala Queen and the rest of the Gala party has been selected by the primary school in the village, and consists of P7s, the head teacher picks them and they are chosen based on behaviour/attainment etc. throughout the year. My own kids viewed it as quite a bit accolade to be chosen and it seems like a big deal to the kids. This method though has had its controversies as obviously not every child in the Village attends the village school with some going to other schools for various reasons and others going to say the catholic school or occasionally the odd who does the 30+ minute commute to a private school, it also excludes any kids who attend the schools for additional needs as these aren't in the village. However it has always been the primary schools pick.
I am on the Gala Committee and this year there is a push to change the allocation method, basically to some sort of system where any Primary 7 aged child who lives in the village or surrounding farms/one hamlet where all the kids also go to the local school, would be able to enter. The top ideas right now are some sort of essay writing competition or a competition where kids submit "evidence of excellence" be it a video of a dance they have learnt, art they have done, sports awards etc. The essay seems to be the popular choice but some fear that it will mean just the smartest kids get the chance to be part of it. It's said that either the committee would pick or we could get some locals to pick (so a panel of maybe the head teacher, the minister at the local church etc). The idea for the essay writing competition is they would write an essay on the history of the village or something similar.

However the issue is, this same year one of the most vocal members of the Gala Committee has a grandchild who is in Primary 7, but at a private school, so wouldn't be eligible under the historical system as despite living in the village, doesn't attend the local school. About half of the committee are against any changes as it is set in tradition and they feel the change is purely to benefit this members grandchild and future grandchildren. They also feel that it is unfair to ask the children of the local state school, many from lower income backgrounds to compete against private school kids on either the essay front or the hobby front. Others feel it is a necessary change as the days of all the kids going to the local school are over, and lots of the kids at the local school aren't from the village now.

It is creating quite the divide and a lot of upset so I'm looking to see what others think as we seem to be in a deadlock.

So
YABU - The traditional method should stay
YANBU - Time to update so all the kids in the village can be involved

(I know this seems trivial but it is the source of many a head ache for me right now and it is the height of village drama for our sleepy little place).

OP posts:
Original poster
Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:08

I suggested a random draw today, as I expected they feel a totally random draw isn't appropriate arguing that it is okay to reward children sometimes for better behaviour or better attainment. I'm not saying I fully agree but that was the consensus.

I passed feedback on the essay not being inclusive and several members pointed out that it has always been the "brightest" kids who get this opportunity and rarely is academic excellence awarded at the primary school. It being a low-socioeconomic area they feel it is okay to provide an incentive for these kids to work harder and get something as a result as it isn't any area where kids are often made to feel proud of academic achievement rather it is often teased by peers. Others agreed that it would favour the the privately educated children too much.
The selection night with the kids doing a small speech/interview was also suggested and relatively popular but disliked as the entries couldn't be anonymised the way they could if it is an essay.
As of now, we are no further along in the decision.

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 12/02/2025 19:09

Omg the drama

Original poster
Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:13

PrivateCosts · 12/02/2025 19:08

Thanks. Of course you can’t create ethnic diversity if it isn’t there!

So the maids have been played by physically disabled and autistic and low income children. How about the gala queen?

Show quote history

I can't say for the Gala Queen, as far as I know not in the last 7 years that I have been involved. However I can say that last year it was the daughter of the family who store the equipment, she was always well behaved, high achieving etc. so could be that she was genuinely the best option, could be that someone whispered in the heads ear about her links. The year before was the niece of a teacher at the school, same idea, she was a bright kid, head girl etc. so possibly just the best choice, possibly favouritism. This is often the case for the Gala Queen though.

OP posts:
MsVi · 12/02/2025 19:13

Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:08

I suggested a random draw today, as I expected they feel a totally random draw isn't appropriate arguing that it is okay to reward children sometimes for better behaviour or better attainment. I'm not saying I fully agree but that was the consensus.

I passed feedback on the essay not being inclusive and several members pointed out that it has always been the "brightest" kids who get this opportunity and rarely is academic excellence awarded at the primary school. It being a low-socioeconomic area they feel it is okay to provide an incentive for these kids to work harder and get something as a result as it isn't any area where kids are often made to feel proud of academic achievement rather it is often teased by peers. Others agreed that it would favour the the privately educated children too much.
The selection night with the kids doing a small speech/interview was also suggested and relatively popular but disliked as the entries couldn't be anonymised the way they could if it is an essay.
As of now, we are no further along in the decision.

I really can't imagine why you would want to have anything to do with such a snobby, judgemental bunch of people. They sound awful.

maudelovesharold · 12/02/2025 19:15

Bronniel · 11/02/2025 22:37

Names in a hat would really go down like a lead balloon in my village. Those who donate/contribute to the Gala Day would become quite resentful if the kids who go about vandalising, and general have terrible behaviour and are known for causing trouble got a role and to be honest the families of these kids really don't contribute at all to the day.
I'm not against it but I know for a fact the committee wouldn't accept it, so it as a no go.

But actually, it could have a really beneficial effect. Quite often anti-social behaviour is linked with feeling you have no stake in your community. If they are part of proceedings, you might find that the children in question rise to the occasion. At the very least, they won’t feel that they have been ostracised and can never play a part in village life, maybe? You could sell it to the Committee as a way of demonstrating how ‘cutting edge’ their inclusivity initiatives are!

Original poster
Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:16

MsVi · 12/02/2025 19:13

I really can't imagine why you would want to have anything to do with such a snobby, judgemental bunch of people. They sound awful.

Show quote history

I'm not sure that it is snobby, it was pointed out that every year since 2021 at least one child from a street which is all council owned flats has had a role. It is a working class village, the majority of these kids live in council/ex-council houses, with maybe only 5/6 a year who are from more "middle-class" backgrounds. In this village at least socio-economic background doesn't dictate the "brightness" of the kids at all.

OP posts:
TwentyTwentyFive · 12/02/2025 19:17

I really can't imagine why you would want to have anything to do with such a snobby, judgemental bunch of people. They sound awful.

This ^^

Also let's not forget here they are talking about 11 year olds! The way they've written off children at this age is mind-blowing.

Original poster
Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:22

TwentyTwentyFive · 12/02/2025 19:17

I really can't imagine why you would want to have anything to do with such a snobby, judgemental bunch of people. They sound awful.

This ^^

Also let's not forget here they are talking about 11 year olds! The way they've written off children at this age is mind-blowing.

No one is writing them off, what is being said is why should the kids who break the swings in the local park, vandalise houses, throw stones at passing cars etc. represent the village when often they are ruining it for others. No one is saying they won't go on and become perfectly lovely young adults, this opportunity doesn't aid nor prevent that. They are 11, perfectly capable of knowing what sort of behaviour is and isn't acceptable, not 3.
In my daughters year there was a boy who often threw stones at cars, broke park equipment and vandalised the local public loos and he is now one of the top perfuming kids in secondary school, but at 11 would he really have deserved to represent the village over others?
This doesn't go on their CV or impact any other part of their life, it is one weekend, that as soon as it is over is pretty inconsequential.

OP posts:
Youngheartsalittletogetherness · 12/02/2025 19:26

coxesorangepippin · 12/02/2025 19:09

Omg the drama

And for what?
All this back and forth could you be arsed with any of it.

HiptotheHopp · 12/02/2025 19:38

Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:22

No one is writing them off, what is being said is why should the kids who break the swings in the local park, vandalise houses, throw stones at passing cars etc. represent the village when often they are ruining it for others. No one is saying they won't go on and become perfectly lovely young adults, this opportunity doesn't aid nor prevent that. They are 11, perfectly capable of knowing what sort of behaviour is and isn't acceptable, not 3.
In my daughters year there was a boy who often threw stones at cars, broke park equipment and vandalised the local public loos and he is now one of the top perfuming kids in secondary school, but at 11 would he really have deserved to represent the village over others?
This doesn't go on their CV or impact any other part of their life, it is one weekend, that as soon as it is over is pretty inconsequential.

Show quote history

Disenfranchising them in primary school is hardly helping them on the path to better things

Original poster
Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:40

HiptotheHopp · 12/02/2025 19:38

Disenfranchising them in primary school is hardly helping them on the path to better things

Show quote history

So you think the children who frequently ruin things in the village should get these roles over those who don't?

OP posts:
HiptotheHopp · 12/02/2025 19:42

Ok to sum it up, the maids are the poor and disabled kids, and the queen is the prettiest well off girl with the right connections. And the "bad"kids are banned entirely.

So far, so feudal. Here's an idea, ditch the whole antiquated bullshit entire?

TwentyTwentyFive · 12/02/2025 19:44

Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:40

So you think the children who frequently ruin things in the village should get these roles over those who don't?

Show quote history

I think those choosing are missing the point that most children at 11 who are behaving in that way probably have either a very challenging home life or need extra support rather than to be told they are not good enough for what is as you've said a one day thing soon forgotten and which shouldn't be this big of a deal.

Original poster
Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:44

HiptotheHopp · 12/02/2025 19:42

Ok to sum it up, the maids are the poor and disabled kids, and the queen is the prettiest well off girl with the right connections. And the "bad"kids are banned entirely.

So far, so feudal. Here's an idea, ditch the whole antiquated bullshit entire?

Who said the queen was either pretty or well off?
Obviously I think my daughter is gorgeous but fwiw, we live in a council house, my husband is a bus driver and I work part-time on minimum wage. You are making things up.
To clarify once again, very few in the village are well-off financially. Most of us aren't so socio-economic background has literally 0 impact on this.

OP posts:
FoxtonFoxton · 12/02/2025 19:45

It's all a bit much isn't it really. It's children parading on a cart. It really doesn't need to be this overly dramatic, socio-economic issue taking meeting after meeting to resolve. I'd imagine most of the kids care far, far less than the adults anyway and won't be particularly bothered who gets a role. If the committee (who sound ridiculous to be honest) can't even think about drawing a name and want to continue to make it this massive, snobby ball ache I'd be bailing and leaving them to it.

HiptotheHopp · 12/02/2025 19:46

Oh ok, just need the right connections then? Your ma on the committee, your family stores stuff, you look right and you're clever enough....it doesn't make it much better

The whole thing sounds appalling. I thought this shit went out with the ark

Original poster
Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:49

HiptotheHopp · 12/02/2025 19:46

Oh ok, just need the right connections then? Your ma on the committee, your family stores stuff, you look right and you're clever enough....it doesn't make it much better

The whole thing sounds appalling. I thought this shit went out with the ark

I've never personally been involved in the selection. It has always been the head teacher, supposedly based on behaviour and attainment. I can't speak for if she has had any other motives.

OP posts:
ladymalfoy45 · 12/02/2025 19:53

As a former Maypole dancer at a Well Dressing Festival three years on the bounce, I can guarantee the decision has already been made.
The three queens we 'danced ' for were the daughters of a school governor, a Building Society executive ,and Used Car salesman.
The families had donated money to the Well Dressing fund.
The families paid for all the dresses and retinue costumes.

MelisandeLongfield · 12/02/2025 20:08

As a former Maypole dancer at a Well Dressing Festival three years on the bounce

I bet it's not often you have the opportunity to state that as relevant experience to a thread @ladymalfoy45 !😃

CoastalCalm · 12/02/2025 20:12

Do an election

PrivateCosts · 12/02/2025 20:31

Bronniel · 12/02/2025 19:22

No one is writing them off, what is being said is why should the kids who break the swings in the local park, vandalise houses, throw stones at passing cars etc. represent the village when often they are ruining it for others. No one is saying they won't go on and become perfectly lovely young adults, this opportunity doesn't aid nor prevent that. They are 11, perfectly capable of knowing what sort of behaviour is and isn't acceptable, not 3.
In my daughters year there was a boy who often threw stones at cars, broke park equipment and vandalised the local public loos and he is now one of the top perfuming kids in secondary school, but at 11 would he really have deserved to represent the village over others?
This doesn't go on their CV or impact any other part of their life, it is one weekend, that as soon as it is over is pretty inconsequential.

Show quote history

it is one weekend, that as soon as it is over is pretty inconsequential

It feels more important than that though. With all the politics and discussions about selection processes etc. Hey it has even warranted a thread on MN ;-)

StormingNorman · 12/02/2025 22:00

HiptotheHopp · 12/02/2025 18:11

That's not fully inclusive, is it?

Show quote history

“I would allow children to submit their entry in any format they feel confident in”

How would you make it more inclusive than that?

Shelby2010 · 12/02/2025 22:16

I would go with schools making a recommendation of deserving village kids who then get put into a draw. Have a leaflet in the local shop / library that kids can take into the more obscure schools.

If there’s a parade, then that would provide an opportunity for the other ‘deserving’ kids to lead the parade directly behind the winners.

MustBeGinOclock · 13/02/2025 03:38

Make an application form up. Questions such as what do you contribute to your community, skills, qualities etc. Panel can pick the best.

POTC · 13/02/2025 04:25

@Bronniel I'd be saying to them that you need to give a full year notice on any changes, so this year stays as it has traditionally been and you announce in the next couple of months what the arrangements will be next year. That gives everyone adequate notice of the change and you some time.