Does perimenopause have a lot to answer for

[rainingitspouring2]

So just watched an episode of amandaland where Anne is told off for oggling men in the shower. She then goes on a rant about wishing she'd 'sewn her oats' more and can't stop looking at other men to which the other woman she is talking to agrees and blames it on perimenopause and said it causes women to become more horny to get impregnated before they lose their eggs.

Which got me thinking.

I have socialised with about 7 different friends recently most mothers all long term married all late 30's early 40's who over a glass of wine have expressed in one way or another that they are either in a sexless marriage, or unsatisfied or can't imagine sleeping with the same man for the rest of their lives.
I am a mother of a DS and on one hand it made me feel a bit sorry for men that so many women seemingly feel this way and how I can teach him to be a good future partner but also made me ponder why is it such a taboo to want something different sexually after a while. Especially if hormones play a role or are to 'blame' so to speak. It definitely removes some level of guilt for having these thoughts when explained that way. None of these women want a divorce or to ruin their family but are seemingly sexually dissatisfied or frustrated in one way or another.

I too have had similar thoughts in the past but have carried deep shame about this and felt like there was something wrong with me for this even crossing my mind. Am I not wife material? I am 16 years married. AIBU? Do hormones contribute? Or are me and my friends just devious women?

I'm deep into perimenopause and sowing my oats is absolutely the last thing I'd be interested in doing tbh!

Well, it's a bit complex for a MN post but here are some thoughts:
-for some women, the fluctuations of hormones in peri and meno do result in 'horny' feelings
-Women are not encouraged socially to express interest, much less desire (in contrast, a man checking out women is relatively ok), nevermind actually sowing any oats
-If you're married, you know there are times when you are more into it than others
-If you're married you know life can fall into a rut
-if you 're on MN you know that the top killer of marriages is men not flirting (it killed mine) so my best piece of advice is to encourage your DS to flirt with his wife (when he has one).

This reply is so thought provoking and true. I feel like its such a huge topic but still so frowned upon to speak about