To think my friend is projecting her own unhappiness into world events?

[myrtleleech]

I have a friend whom I deeply care for, but she’s always been quite complicated. Over the time I’ve known her, she’s dealt with a lot of emotional struggles, largely due to a difficult upbringing. She tends to get very emotionally invested in certain causes like environmental issues, feminism, and others, often to the point where it consumes her and shapes her perspective on everything.

Recently, she has become fixated on the war in Gaza. At her child's 6th birthday party, she decorated the space with Gaza flags and slogans. When she shared footage of the party on social media, she edited in images of injured children from Gaza, saying she couldn’t forget the suffering of the people there, even during moments of happiness like her child’s celebration.

She had a rough childhood, with one of her parents struggling with mental health issues, and I know she carries a lot of emotional pain, which she often redirects onto other things. Unfortunately, her constant online activity, where she reads and believes all sorts of conspiracy theories, has made things even worse. I also find her actions somewhat inappropriate—she seems to be using the suffering of people in Gaza, whom she has no direct connection to, as a way to project her own unresolved issues.

I honestly think she might need professional support, as her obsession is taking a toll. It feels completely inappropriate for her to make everything about Gaza, especially when it involves her kids.

Because it means that no matter what happens to Jewish people. no matter how barbarous, how terrible. how brutal. and no matter how well documented that it happened by the agency of another, that no sympathy or compassion must be shown to the Jewish victims ( Jews can never be victims) but instead they must be made responsible for the terrible suffering another caused them, and it is their own sneaky, Jewish conniving through their Jewish networks that did it. Or Jews banded together to fake an atrocity against them that never happened at all, such as in the Holocaust (denial).

This is why I said if her kids already have everything they could possibly wish for. When my son was younger, we were invited to several birthday parties where parents didn't want presents for that reason and asked for donations to charity instead from anyone who was willing. I didn't think it was that horrible as it was abundantly clear that the kids had everything and more, would get even more from many other people and the parents weren't doing it to deprive their kids of presents. It just depends on a specific situation.

I am a massive invested in the situation in Gaza. We attend rallies, raise awareness and help on the ground organisations. It holds immense weight in my mind.

Having said that your friend sounds unbalanced. To involve her children, be so consumed she can't enjoy a birthday party etc. Something is definately off

Oh, I thought the conspiracy was a bit more straightforward like Israel orchestrated the attack so that they have a reason to bomb Gaza or something a bit more linear like that. Fair enough.

Because it's all part of a much wider anti-Semitic notion (which goes back for centuries) that Jewish people are somehow always either faking or orchestrating events in which they are victims, the subtext being that they must be an intrinsically untrustworthy, sly, conniving group of people. See also Holocaust denial, Blood Libel etc.

This is awful. I would distance myself. ( how can she deny Oct 7 after recent images of hostages released at the weekend?)

I am astonished at your reply. This is anti-Semitic thinking. Its exactly what I just outlined. What you have just described as ' straight forward' is an anti-Semitic idea that Jews can never be victims, never deserving compassion, as they must have orchestrated their own suffering themselves for their own nefarious Jewish purposes.

So the Jews were not really the victims of a racist attack by a terrorist group, despite the terrorists filming themselves doing it, and to this day being proud of it, instead the Jews were behind it themselves for their own benefit. That is blatant anti-Semitism.

Yes it was very ill-judged to let this dominate her child’s birthday party. So unfair on her child.

Absolutely Gaza is a horrendous issue and I can really understand someone being very upset about it. But you have to make sure you don’t ruin your children’s lives with these things.

Has she actually been able to do anything constructive for Gaza? That might help her.

The cause itself has become secondary to her interest in it

This may well be true too. It does seem like she is making her interest in this cause a purpose in itself.

Not at all. I just don’t associate a government or an entire country with a religion, it’s separate to me. It looks like people think that Palestine attacking Israel is religious terrorism but Israel attacking Palestine is a country attacking another country.

Does she actually meet any real life people who are doing something in Gaza activism? Note - having flags is not activism, it's just shopping for flags.

Or is this all an online interest that has become all consuming of her time and taking her down internet rabbit holes.

I think this is the thing.

In a similar way, I am very involved in supporting Ukraine and care very deeply about it.

I would never allow it to prevent one of my children enjoying a birthday party and also make sure not to let it overshadow their lives. However, they are older and we can have informed discussions about all of these issues - including Gaza as well.

I actually find that I benefit from hearing the views of my teen on a range of things!

I want to raise my kids to be aware of the world around them but equally don’t want to force my views on them or let adult, world problems overshadow their lives.

Or perhaps making it her personality.

Theres no point waving a few flags if she doesn’t do anything

Theres no point waving a few flags if she doesn’t do anything

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing I would agree that it would have been healthier for her if she directed her energies towards taking on a more productive effort for the cause than waving flags at her kid's birthday party. It would have made her feel better too.

Yes exactly

Israel is the only Jewish state in the world.

In the footage the terrorists took of themselves as they went through the Kibbutz they said repeatedly 'where are the Jews? Where are the Jewish dogs'. Jews and Jewish dogs were their constant refrain.

The way the terrorists framed it themselves, makes it clear that this was a racist attack. Nor did they cry ' Free Palestine' as they murdered, tortured and pillaged. They cried ' Allah is great.' Western self-identified anti-racists who want to hate on Israel may want to pretend to themselves that this whole thing has nothing to do with being Jewish, and that Israel is not really the only Jewish nation in the world, because being Jewish has nothing to do with Israel really, and they probably all orchestrated October 7th anyway for their own evil purposes, in their big Israeli but-nothing-to-do-with-being-Jewish gang, but you can sure as hell bet the terrorists who committed this atrocity don't see it like that. They definitely, in their own words, see it as a Jew-hate thing.

Sounds like a bog stabdard attention seeker.

I'd not give her the time of day.
Unfriend her, block her and leave her to enbarress herself.

I kind of understand what you mean

As a way of avoiding my own huge personal problems as a teen, I became very into feminism and socialism

I'd see everything through that lens and couldn't be normal 😭

Looking back, i see how it would've been difficult to be around. I was never nasty, very harmless and kind but definitely had an overdeveloped sense of justice which made just chilling out a bit difficult I guess

Dunno how you'd handle it though. She needs to figure out her own shit, bless her xx

Thanks I appreciate that. Yes I agree about the whole "climate doomer" thing, I've been involved in environmental groups myself and for some people it is absolutely a manifestation of a deeper mental disturbance, there are some who even want the world to hurry up and end.

Yes the assertation that Oct 7th was an inside job is very disturbing indeed to me even when presented with the reality of Israeli hostages taken by Hamas. Its very upsetting, I know she's not a bad person but is very vulnerable to certain things.

Ugh, I'd hate that. She's making everything about her and her virtuous pain, whether she sees it or not. Her poor child can't even have a birthday party without having this forced into it? She's setting her child up to have his own set of issues.

I'd be limiting contact if this is what she's always like.