To ask how long you was heartbroken for after split?

[Roastpotatoess]

Just that really? How many weeks/months did you spend crying/moping and any tips to come out of the other side. Did you just randomly have a lightbulb moment which helped you move on?

Just 6 years no biggie

4 years and yes

I think it varies hugely. When I was younger it took way longer (hormones etc made it seem way worse than it was) so it took over a year for some relationships. My most recent ones not so much, when I split from my sons dad I was over it within a month because I’d already emotionally checked our because he was so horrible.

I read that generally it takes half the length of the relationship to get over it, so 2 years, it’ll take a year etc. But I don’t really think thats true.

Relationship 1, i was the one that ended it due to domestic abuse, wasn't heartbroken but relieved, though 14 years on not out the other side as have PTSD.
Relationship 2, also emotionally/financially abusive, he ended it citing his depression, but dangled the getting back together carrot for 3 years whilst i put my own needs second and would go up to 2 weeks at a time with not a single message. After failed promises yet again i confronted him new years day 2018 for treating me like shit and using me for money, got ghosted. Waited 2 weeks for an apology, willing to forgive and work on being together if he put in the effort, got nothing, and felt relief again, that i had my black and white answer that i was nothing to him and i could move on. But i'm bitter he knew he had no intention of getting back together and used my still loving him for 3 years to get every penny he could out of me.

Give yourself a break Jill. Don't feel bitter. He sounds like such an absolute deadleg he won't have had a bloody clue what he was doing. Pleased that you are free of that sack of shite.

Among the usual quota of general boyfriends, I have had a sixth form boyfriend who was also my very Best friend (2 years) a first fiancé late teens/early twenties (2.5years), and my husband whom I met when I was 24.

When my best friend-boyfriend and I split up I felt lost and bruised, and was young and foolish enough to meet several boyfriends while on the rebound - including the first fiancé a year later. I regard that relationship ending, as the best bad thing that ever happened to me - as I realised within 6 months of breaking up that it would have never, ever worked out happily for us. We were too unsuited.

I learned from my first broken relationship that for me, getting serious with someone else, while feeling vulnerable was a disaster for me, I couldn’t be objective enough.
I dated casually for several years, after splitting up with my first fiancé, very mindful of not getting serious again, until meeting my husband (currently m 41 years).

It is of course different for everyone. You have to be very honest with yourself.
It certainly helped me cope, even though I was lonely at intervals, I realised plunging straight back in was not the answer for me, until I was in a genuinely better place.

Two years in for over a 20 year relationship with kids. I am in a much better place now and no longer heartbroken, but I am still adjusting to my new reality and feel sad and angry, just not the majority of the time anymore.