To say no thank you to a request to be LPA for a relative

[whatty]

I have been asked to discuss a relatives LPA which they (him and his wife) are planning on putting in place. They are late 70s, but in reasonable health. The wife has relatives who have lived into their 90s.

I work in a profession, and have been asked to be executor and on LPAs for other relatives already.

This couple have one child who is single and hard work (v opinionated and not inclined to listen to women's opinions). Would I be unreasonable to politely decline the request? Any suggestions re: how I do this? I feel bad for saying no (am a people pleaser by nature) and would like a few tips!

Is the child also being appointed as LPA?

I think that you can basically say what you've written here, but in slightly nicer words.

"I'm really really flattered that you would ask me, but I think that it's Fred's place rather than mine to be the attorney, and I'd be worried that if we had an equal say it would potentially damage our relationship if we disagreed. I would of course be happy to help or advise him if he was managing your affairs and wanted to ask me for advice!

Just say that you've decided that you can no longer act as LPA for anyone anymore. Don't make it about them or their son, just say it's a blanket rule

Not unreasonable at all. I would politely decline on the basis that you are already appointed LPA / executor for others. It is an onerous role if it is invoked and you don't want to find yourself implementing more than one at the same time as you don't feel you could could execute multiple LPAs at the same time to the standard required.

( Regardless of your profession / experience you really don't want to end up managing more than one at once for a relative - stressful and hard work)

I assume the child will also be appointed, and they need A.N.Other.

Thanks for the helpful responses 🙂

LPA can be a big responsibility if someone ends up needing it, health wise or financially. I wouldn't do it for anyone other than my own parents or husband.

Why do they need another? They can have each other and their child.

Offer to be a replacement attorney if Fred is no longer able to act?

No, don't do that. Because then OP would be on the hook. It has to be a flat no.