To not want to ‘mum’ today

[Emetamom]

I have emetaphobia. Always have-always will.
my toddler has been sick a bit this morning and I’ve obviously freaked out. My toddler hates using a bucket so it’s a fight to control any sick!
im in fight or flight mode(I’ve fled to my mums house!) and I just want to hide. I hate this so much. I hate that I’m not a good mummy when this happens

Who the heck is looking after your son?

Babies/toddlers vomit. Did you plan how you would cope before having a baby?

This phobia is debilitating. Have you tried every source of therapy going?

Sadly you don’t get to check out of parenting and being there for your child when he is unwell is a key part of the job. Surely you knew that motherhood would involve illness when you decided to have a child.

Always have-always will.

what have you done to at least try?

Parent up op

your toddler feels rough
and his mum has scarpered

Go back and be there for your sick child.

It's incredibly hypocritical that you've fled to your mums whilst your toddler is the one actually poorly.

Well you know YABU for opting out of parenthood when your child is sick but if your DH is ok with picking up the slack then it's alright really. Maybe make sure he gets a break later to even it out.

why do you have emetephobia?

Where’s your child? When you choose to be a parent you are responsible for putting your child’s needs first. You don’t fuck off when your toddler is ill, that’s pathetic.

I empathise OP. I used to be obsessed with sick bugs, googling the numbers of people ill with them, thinking about the germs all the time & frankly terrified that I would become infected. When a character on tv threw up, I had to cover my ears or even leave the room. I had such anxiety around it. Since having DD, who is now 16, it’s got quite a bit better although I can still go into a tailspin hearing about an outbreak of noro locally for instance. DH is very hands on but sometimes when he wasn’t around I just had to get on with it. Luckily, she wasn’t sick very often. The worst was fairly recently when she’d been sick several times all over her room - I surprised myself by getting on with it & clearing up. I think because it’s your child feeling rotten, it helps you to put your own feelings aside. Your DS will possibly get used to using a bucket as he gets older plus he will understand about trying to get to the loo. Hope he feels better soon. It might not even be a bug.

I have emetophobia - I had hypnotherapy for it a few years ago and it's far more manageable now - I would definitely recommend trying it especially with young children who are going to be unpredictable!!

Do you think OP has left her sick toddler home alone? Please behave!

I have emetophobia. When my children had vomiting bugs DH looked after them if at all possible.

Sorry, I wasn’t clear. Me and DC have both come to my mums. Im sitting with him now. I’m a single parent so no DP to pick up any sort of slack

Change the bucket for a large bowl or jug. Change your sons experience of it and try to avoid passing on your own anxiety to him about it vomiting - even if you don't think you are, it seems that it's happening.

I’ve tried every therapy going. They’ve done pretty much nothing except shrink my bank balance!

I think he associates the bucket with being unwell. Last time he had a tummy bug, he was great letting me put the bin under him. This time he’s having none of it and is running away while retching

I'm another who found the 'immersion therapy' of having kids actually helped my emetophobia. It came back again big time when the kids grew up, but when they were younger it was a matter of HAVING to do it. I have to admit that I'd sometimes give them a towel or newspaper to be sick on and then just throw that away or burn it so I didn't have to see or deal with the sick... But you might find that the more your toddler throws up, the more blase you become about it.

I was also a single mum to five, and the occasion when all five came down with noro simultaneously, and we basically just had one big bowl in the middle that they took turns to vomit into (I'd run out of containers!) is seared into my memory for life.

Oh my Christ. That sounds horrific. I have 3 DC but thankfully they’ve only ever had it one after the other.
believe it or not, I’m much better than I used to be. I’d lock myself in a room and shake and cry. I can actually hold the bowl now.
I’m still BF him so I’m hoping that helps with whatever is going on

I’m the same, I use doggy pads that are for them to toilet on, don’t have to worry about aim and they can be folded over and binned immediately without having to “clean” as that is the part I struggle with the most.

I put several bin bags, one inside of the other, into the bin, with a piece of kitchen roll in each bag. That way I can just take out one bag, and it’s ready to go straight away. No rinsing or touching anything gross

I got some vomit bags from Amazon, they have something in them that solidifys waste, you tie the bag up and dispose. I haven't had to use yet, but might be worth a look. (Sold for travel sickness)

It’s so weird. He retched a couple times this morning, about half a mouthful of liquid came out. He’s retched a few times since(that was about 8am) and now he’s playing, asking for food! Never sure how to play these things?!

I feel for you OP.
It is an irrational fear so anyone reading it sounds selfish and we don't mean to be.
I had loads of therapy and now my DC moved away as adults I would say mine is linked to feeling depressed.
When I'm happy vomiting can be put into perspective when I'm stressed I struggle so much.

You honestly think that a toddler might have been faking it?

Well obviously not 🙄 I meant is it a bug or just a weird one off!

This resonates with me, actually.