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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep DD home to avoid D&V bug

49 replies

WordSmorgaspord · 10/02/2025 01:27

NC.
Loads of messages on year 1 class WhatsApp saying children have been ill with a very bad D&V virus over the weekend. At least half of the class have it.

My DD is still very run down after 2 weeks of flu A - this was no small flu, fever for a week, coughing, vomiting (but not like a d&v bug), stomach pain, really lethargic for days. One DD was so unwell she needed to be monitored overnight in A&E due to dehydration and poor oxygen absorption.

It's Sunday night and the school have been informed about the number of kids down with the bug but surely they will have no time to clean the classroom or even notify and close the class to break the cycle (if that's something they do?)

I am really worried about how poorly my girls would be if they caught this bug while still weak from flu a.

Wibu to keep my daughter home from school?

OP posts:
farmlife2 · 10/02/2025 01:40

It really depends. You are probably too late, and if you're not, how long will you be keeping her off? Up to a week due to circumstances, yes, I might. More than that, I don't know.

Original poster
WordSmorgaspord · 10/02/2025 01:45

farmlife2 · 10/02/2025 01:40

It really depends. You are probably too late, and if you're not, how long will you be keeping her off? Up to a week due to circumstances, yes, I might. More than that, I don't know.

Yes it's quite possible they have got it anyway. There is one week of school left until the half term holidays.

What I'm thinking of is either a) keep them off for today to see if we get any messages from the school once the teacher hears about how many children are off sick, or b) keep them off until half term. Of course if they start vomiting it's decided for me... They may as they are not themselves this weekend and extremely grumpy/tired.

I would keep nursery aged DD off too as younger siblings in her class are also vomiting, but it's not as big a deal as keeping older DD out of year 1 as not compulsory schooling.

OP posts:
ShouldIEvenBother · 10/02/2025 01:49

Absolutely not unreasonable OP.

Sounds like the most sensible thing to do is to keep her home - high chance she'll be catching the bug if she goes in and it sounds like she's not 100% recovered from flu anyway - totally reasonable not to want to risk compounding things for her with yet another virus right on top of the flu. Plus you'll all most likely end up with it if she does catch it.

farmlife2 · 10/02/2025 01:49

So one extra week of holidays, really? You know your DD best. If it's not already too late, and you think she's too run down after having been sick already, then at the least maybe ask the advice of your doctor and get a certificate from them to account for the absence. Otherwise just use your judgement. In the end you are her mother, not the school. I'd do it if I thought it was best.

Original poster
WordSmorgaspord · 10/02/2025 02:00

farmlife2 · 10/02/2025 01:49

So one extra week of holidays, really? You know your DD best. If it's not already too late, and you think she's too run down after having been sick already, then at the least maybe ask the advice of your doctor and get a certificate from them to account for the absence. Otherwise just use your judgement. In the end you are her mother, not the school. I'd do it if I thought it was best.

Edited

That's a good idea actually, I could always speak to the GP. It is very bad timing as she has had a lot of time off over the past few weeks due to the flu so I'm a bit nervous about missing school.

It wouldn't quite be another week of holiday as I need to work. DH would be looking after them but he has some health issues so not up to anything too exciting. Totally fine to look after them though. More of a boring week at home before school hols.

They are very run down still.

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 10/02/2025 02:02

I would keep her home I think. Sorry both home.they have been very poorly by the sounds of it.its nearly half term .let them rest.up .
.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 10/02/2025 04:19

WordSmorgaspord · 10/02/2025 02:00

That's a good idea actually, I could always speak to the GP. It is very bad timing as she has had a lot of time off over the past few weeks due to the flu so I'm a bit nervous about missing school.

It wouldn't quite be another week of holiday as I need to work. DH would be looking after them but he has some health issues so not up to anything too exciting. Totally fine to look after them though. More of a boring week at home before school hols.

They are very run down still.

Show quote history

I don't think you abu to keep dc home, either. D&V can be dangerous due to the dehydration even if it doesn't seem severe. Since your dc is really still recovering from flu best to err on the side of caution. School work can be done at home to keep up.

Justalittlenaughty · 10/02/2025 04:32

Like GPs aren't already stretched, I'm sure they got capacity to talk about your daughter who 'might' get ill, don't be so ridiculous! 😳

Dontsparethehorses · 10/02/2025 04:43

Just so you know this is exactly why schools have to fine more and more and are under increasing pressure with attendance - your child’s already missed a significant amount of time with illness and now although they could go in, you’re worried they might get ill again so want another week off… schools can not win.

Original poster
WordSmorgaspord · 10/02/2025 05:14

Justalittlenaughty · 10/02/2025 04:32

Like GPs aren't already stretched, I'm sure they got capacity to talk about your daughter who 'might' get ill, don't be so ridiculous! 😳

They both are ill, just not as ill as they have been. As I said I had to take my daughter to a&e with severe dehydration and poor oxygen absorption so no small thing. She is still recovering and the last 2 weeks really took it out of her. She couldn't even walk to the toilet for several days and struggled to be awake at all. She's lost weight and still little energy. Still miserable and coughing. I am concerned this could put my already unwell child in hospital so I'm not going to worry about GPs time thank you very much.

OP posts:
Original poster
WordSmorgaspord · 10/02/2025 05:17

Dontsparethehorses · 10/02/2025 04:43

Just so you know this is exactly why schools have to fine more and more and are under increasing pressure with attendance - your child’s already missed a significant amount of time with illness and now although they could go in, you’re worried they might get ill again so want another week off… schools can not win.

Not quite, it's that I'm worried they might be VERY ill if they get MORE ill. I've already spent the night in hospital with one of them and don't want to have to go back there. I'm interested in doing what's best for my child.

OP posts:
LaughingLemur · 10/02/2025 05:36

I'd keep them home for the whole week. The last thing they need is to catch Norovirus when they are already poorly. With all this focus on attendance people seem to have forgotten how important it is to let the body recover from an illness.

ImNoSuperman · 10/02/2025 05:42

Have you considered home schooling? Being stuck in the house for so long won't help their immunity rebuild but if you have so much anxiety that they might get sick from other children, you'd be better homeschooling

Original poster
WordSmorgaspord · 10/02/2025 05:46

ImNoSuperman · 10/02/2025 05:42

Have you considered home schooling? Being stuck in the house for so long won't help their immunity rebuild but if you have so much anxiety that they might get sick from other children, you'd be better homeschooling

It's not really anxiety is it, more than half of the class are actively vomitting today so it's clearly highly contagious. They always go to school unless really unwell - they have been really unwell last two weeks and off for most of that. There is no way they could have gone as they were very ill in bed. That's not anxiety that's literally being unwell.

OP posts:
Original poster
WordSmorgaspord · 10/02/2025 05:50

They are often pretty unwell what with all the bugs and colds in nursery and schools but they attend anyway unless they are too ill to function/contagious d&v as per school policy. The difference this time is that they are already unwell but ideally I'd like them to be in school so as not to miss more - but not sure it's worth the risk sending them back half recovered only to get much more unwell.

OP posts:
HellMet · 10/02/2025 05:50

She's Yr1. Keep her home. Let her recover properly. Tell school whatever you need to e.g. she seems to have had a bit of a relapse over the weekend and is still not well enough. Do t actually say you're keeping her off so she doesn't get D&v.

cookingthebooks · 10/02/2025 05:52

Yeah I’d do this under your circumstances and even DH who is a pretty ‘crack on and send them’ doctor wouldn’t stop me I know in these circumstances. In his words ‘there’s stoicism and then they’re stupidity’

If it were one or two kids you’d be sending them into a chance of getting it but if it’s half the class or more you’re sending them into almost certainty of catching it. Nope, I’d keep them off!

fruitypancake · 10/02/2025 06:12

They once closed our primary school for noro. It ripped through the whole school and by the time it was closed it was too late

Original poster
WordSmorgaspord · 10/02/2025 06:13

fruitypancake · 10/02/2025 06:12

They once closed our primary school for noro. It ripped through the whole school and by the time it was closed it was too late

I'm wondering if this might happen tomorrow, especially if teachers have caught it too

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 10/02/2025 06:16

I’d keep them off given they haven’t fully recovered from the last illness.

DragonfliesAboveYourBed · 10/02/2025 06:26

I had to take my daughter to a&e with severe dehydration and poor oxygen absorption so no small thing. She is still recovering and the last 2 weeks really took it out of her. She couldn't even walk to the toilet for several days and struggled to be awake at all. She's lost weight and still little energy

Yes, I'd really try and avoid her catching noro. Normally I'd say send her in, but this sounds rough and I wouldn't want noro on top of it.

AlertCat · 10/02/2025 06:30

Just say they’re not well enough to be in school- it’s true! You can do extra stories and drawing and baking with them if they feel up to it and then they will still be ‘learning’ but with the ability to nap or have some CBeebies time as well.

TubeScreamer · 10/02/2025 06:44

I wouid keep her off for a day or two but aim to send her back for some of the week

Mogloveseggs · 10/02/2025 06:51

Keep them off. Ds 13 has just had a dreadful flu with a very bad cough and was very ill for a week. The cough has only just gone and that was with antibiotics. He's been back in school for a week but it's only this weekend he's feeling back to himself.

Toastedpickle · 10/02/2025 06:58

WordSmorgaspord · 10/02/2025 05:14

They both are ill, just not as ill as they have been. As I said I had to take my daughter to a&e with severe dehydration and poor oxygen absorption so no small thing. She is still recovering and the last 2 weeks really took it out of her. She couldn't even walk to the toilet for several days and struggled to be awake at all. She's lost weight and still little energy. Still miserable and coughing. I am concerned this could put my already unwell child in hospital so I'm not going to worry about GPs time thank you very much.

Show quote history

Then keep them off. You really do not need to waste the GP time asking if you should keep your children off school for an illness they don’t yet have? You have decided already what you want to do anyway!