Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this be lilegel by chance

121 replies

ByArtfulBird · 09/02/2025 19:43

So basically my 14 year old DDs boyfriend’s parents are kicking her boyfriend out of there house tomorrowAnd I do want to help him not be homeless. would this be lillegel if he lived at my house with my kids and me for a bit until I can get the government to get him somewhere to live. But I don’t want to break the law throughout it.

OP posts:
SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 09/02/2025 20:18

There is no harm in putting him up for a couple of days, but if he's really been chucked out of his home that is serious, and Social Services should be involved. It could be more that he's had a row with his parents and stormed out and would prefer to live with you. Probably his brother would prefer his own room but that is not the point.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 09/02/2025 20:18

Way too much pressure on your daughter to continue a relationship at a very young age, no way.

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 09/02/2025 20:19

ByArtfulBird · 09/02/2025 19:49

his parents don’t care for him most days most of the time I feed him

Show quote history

It's great that you care but this isn't a long term solution . If he is actually being kicked out of his home by his parents and is otherwise neglected he needs childrens services to be involved immediately and a foster placement arranged. Even if he and your DD are not sexually active they are in fact living under the same roof and it us not the place for him to settle as if he and your DD fall out / split up he will have to leave another home ..

YoungGunsHavingSomeFunCrazyLadiesKeepEmOnTheRun · 09/02/2025 20:20

It's not illegal for ypi to take him in.

I randomly ended up with a neighbours teenaged grandaughter for a couple of weeks because her Mum was away and her granny was an alcoholic.

I spoke to the school first and then SS who asked me to have her until they could sort something else out, which took a couple of weeks.

In your situation I wouldn't do that though, the dynamic of it being a boyfriend is all wrong at 14, and the threat of kicking him out tomorrow to give his brother a room sounds made up tbh. They would be in massive trouble for just booting out a child with nowhere to go.

In your situation I would email the school tomorrow and let them know the situation and they can deal with it.

You can be a safe space for him without having to house him or put your dd under pressure.

LostittoBostik · 09/02/2025 20:21

Offer a very short term solution (7 nights max) and call social services

Poppins2016 · 09/02/2025 20:21

How do you know he's being kicked out (who told you)? I'd be suspicious... either it's simply not true (i.e. he made it up as an excuse to stay with you more often), or there's something very serious going on that you need to report to school safeguarding/social services/etc... parents turning their back on a 14 year old (if that is what they've done) is not to be taken lightly.

Favouritefruits · 09/02/2025 20:22

You definitely aren’t breaking any law! His parents are for not providing the basics for their child! If it was me I’d get social services involved and school right away they will find a foster place for him on the spot! They won’t have child on the streets.

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 09/02/2025 20:23

Have you contacted his parents to find out what’s going on?

starwarsandpeace · 09/02/2025 20:26

No. Speak to his parents and check what their side of things are. If it’s the same story, inform SS and they will check if he can go to his grandparents etc if parents won’t let him live there or will sort foster care. Not your responsibility. Lie to your daughter and tell her it’s illegal for you to house him if you have to.

LIZS · 09/02/2025 20:32

Poppins2016 · 09/02/2025 20:21

How do you know he's being kicked out (who told you)? I'd be suspicious... either it's simply not true (i.e. he made it up as an excuse to stay with you more often), or there's something very serious going on that you need to report to school safeguarding/social services/etc... parents turning their back on a 14 year old (if that is what they've done) is not to be taken lightly.

Agree. You would be naive to take it at face value. If there is substance to the situation let school/ss handle it.

Hoppinggreen · 09/02/2025 20:32

Favouritefruits · 09/02/2025 20:22

You definitely aren’t breaking any law! His parents are for not providing the basics for their child! If it was me I’d get social services involved and school right away they will find a foster place for him on the spot! They won’t have child on the streets.

If there are any foster spaces
You need to speak to school OP, they should sort everything out with SS etc. If you decide he can stay with you for a short period with SS agreement then thats fine but you do need to make sure that everything is above board to protect yourself and your DD

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 09/02/2025 20:35

You need to let school and social services know.

Gymnopedie · 09/02/2025 20:36

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 09/02/2025 19:48

Nobody kicks their child out because their other child won't share a room, bollocks.

Golden child/scapegoat dynamic?

We've heard worse from MNers on various threads.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 09/02/2025 20:44

@ByArtfulBird how sure are you that you are being told the truth?

It's lovely that you are giving him somewhere safe, but I would lay down some pretty tough rules for them both.

I would also be contacting the school and social services and making sure that everything is on record.

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 09/02/2025 20:45

@EineReiseDurchDieZeit · Today 19:48

Nobody kicks their child out because their other child won't share a room, bollocks.

Exactly this! @ByArtfulBird have you spoke to his parents or is this just the version of events that the boyfriend is telling you?

Presumably the boyfriend has been sharing a room with his sibling up to this point, so what has changed?

Sounds fishy, and there is definitely more to this than the sharing a room thing. Failing to house and feed their 14 year old is a breach of care/legal responsibility with serious ramifications and not a decision (most) parents would take lightly unless they had exhausted all other options available to them.

If the boy's parents can't parent him, do you think you can?

thismummydrinksgin · 09/02/2025 20:51

This is private fostering, I don't think it's illegal but you need to call your local council to report yourself as private fostering and request help to get him alternative accommodation.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 09/02/2025 20:52

@Gymnopedie

In this situation I think the 14 yo is either trying it on and manipulating OP or not fully divulging the reasons his relationship with his parents is breaking down

I know the golden child/scapegoat dynamic exists but a fourteen year old is a minor surely there would be repercussions for the parents from SS if they did kick him out?

MumChp · 09/02/2025 20:53

Help him with contact to Social Service. Work from that.

wastingtimeonhere · 09/02/2025 20:53

Are you prepared to be a grandparent yet, because that's where it will lead with 2 kids in a 'relationship' at 14, living under the same roof. Hard enough not living together to keep them apart let alone giving carte blanche..

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 09/02/2025 20:53

He needs to go into the care system- or be fostered within his family. Social services need to be informed, as well as his school. This isn’t for you to fix. It’s not illegal, but if they are prepared to do this, then social services need to be involved for both his benefit and that of the other child left with those parents.

WilmaTitsDrop · 09/02/2025 20:54

ByArtfulBird · 09/02/2025 19:47

Ok I will give them a ring tomorrow I have a spare room that’s why I wondering

Show quote history

Lol @ you needing Mumsnet to suggest you need to ring social services.

DragonBalls · 09/02/2025 20:58

I’m just here for the big reveal or the deletion message, whichever comes first…

BarbedButterfly · 09/02/2025 20:58

Anyone who thinks parents wouldn't do this are very lucky. Some parents just don't care about you or want you around and find an excuse to get rid of you.

OP, contact social services but make it clear they typically neglect him also

Earwiggoearwiggoearwiggo · 09/02/2025 20:58

Call the school first thing tomorrow. If he's literally going to be on the street that night, it will be escalated to social services very rapidly. The school have a duty of care, you don't.

My main concern would be if you let him move in, you're making it impossible for your daughter to leave the relationship if she wants to.

Swipe left for the next trending thread