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AIBU?

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Original poster

Job offer

29 replies

Emma84882 · 09/02/2025 16:01

Hi everyone. Been lucky enough to get a job offer after being made redundant. Very relieved and grateful to have an offer, but I cast the net wide when applying, as financially I desperately need something. However, since being made the offer, I’ve been invited to an interview for a role that I really want. I start my job in two weeks time. I feel very guilty about even considering going, but just not sure what to do. I have signed the contract for the first job, but have just never been in this situation before. Any advice welcome. Cheers

OP posts:
Mysteryfemale · 09/02/2025 16:02

Go for the interview. You will always wonder what if if you don't.

AnSolas · 09/02/2025 16:08

Moral question.

You need to look out for yourself.
You may not get the role.
You cant tell the interviewer about your new job.
So the immediate start date question is a problem
But if you did get the job you cant give proper notice.
So land your new employer in it by loosing you and the next best candiate.

Be very selfish do an interview and go for it.🤷‍♀️

woolflower · 09/02/2025 16:10

Go for the interview, your happiness comes first.

If you get offered the job then you can work out what you’d like to do.

MrsPeregrine · 09/02/2025 16:12

You’ve got to go to the other interview. Taking the moral high ground could potentially cost you a lot, both in happiness and financial terms. Imagine what your bosses at your new role would do in your situation. I bet they would go to the interview for the other role.

OneLilacGuide · 09/02/2025 16:14

Definitely go - it’s just an interview, not a commitment ☺️

FantasiaTurquoise · 09/02/2025 16:16

Go to the interview. You may not get the job, in which case you'll have closure and can commit wholeheartedly to the first one. If you do get offered the job think hard about whether it is what you really want and look carefully at the job security of both of them as if you'll be burning your bridges with the first employer, however nice you are about it. If you have to let the first employer down, be really honest and clear and apologise for the bad timing and explain that you did not know anything about the other role at the time you accepted the job. I had a member of staff resign after 6 weeks (arguably worse as had waisted time training and inducting them) because they got offered their dream job. It was annoying but shit happens and I understood.

ThatsNotMyTeen · 09/02/2025 16:17

Go to the interview. Your new job will just have to get over it if you get it and leave. They would drop you if it suited them so I would not feel bad about doing the same to them

Alwaystired2023 · 09/02/2025 16:20

Of course go for the interview OP, you don't owe anyone anything. As you have found out through your recent experience - a company will make you redundant if they need to! So you do what you need to do and go for the interview for the job you want, and when you get it you can just apologise to the role you were supposed to start and explain it was awful timing but this role came up and you can't say no. You never know they might then counter offer and you could be making a choice on jobs

Feelingstrange2 · 09/02/2025 16:23

You were on the receiving end of business when you were made redundant. Now it works the other way. It's hardly surprising you picked up something quickly - we all need to live and you have no idea when a perfect role.will.come along.

I wouldn't bother with the hassle if it wasnt a dream job but for a role you desire, of course you should apply.

If you get it and have to.move quickly, so be it. That's business.

Recurring1 · 09/02/2025 16:24

Emma84882 · 09/02/2025 16:01

Hi everyone. Been lucky enough to get a job offer after being made redundant. Very relieved and grateful to have an offer, but I cast the net wide when applying, as financially I desperately need something. However, since being made the offer, I’ve been invited to an interview for a role that I really want. I start my job in two weeks time. I feel very guilty about even considering going, but just not sure what to do. I have signed the contract for the first job, but have just never been in this situation before. Any advice welcome. Cheers

I was in this position recently! Been in a job only 3 weeks when I had to quit it as I accepted a dream job that I'd interviewed for just before I started the first job. It was so awkward but I just explained I'd interviewed for this other job a while ago and didn't hear back and I'd now accepted an offer as it was an offer I could not refuse. I said I appreciated all their time and thanked them for the opportunity etc and they were very lovely. I did wait until I'd signed the contract etc before I quit the job just to make sure I definitely had it in place before I left that job though.

EmmaMaria · 09/02/2025 16:26

Morality has nothing to do with it. These are employers, not lovers. You have already discovered that you will be dispensed with when it suits them. So you do what is best for you.

kirinm · 09/02/2025 16:26

It's not something I'd be massively comfortable in doing - letting somebody down at the last minute - but it happens ALL the time and I think employers know it's a possibility. Go to the interview.

Runningoutofthyme · 09/02/2025 16:28

Go to the interview
if you get the job, then you work your notice at you’re new job. Unlikely to be more than 1 month

usually you’re notice period is shorter in the first 6-12 months anyway

ThinWomansBrain · 09/02/2025 16:37

As a trainee accountant I was up for a second interview with one on the 'big 8' professional firms (mergers over the years it's probably "big 4" now. They wanted to support my training outside of their traditional grad route, non audit, a niche I'd have enjoyed... I was torn, but said no because I had another offer.
It's over 40 years ago, but about the only career decision I regret, I had no idea of the cachet it would have given my CV.
Go for the interview.

AnSolas · 09/02/2025 16:52

EmmaMaria · 09/02/2025 16:26

Morality has nothing to do with it. These are employers, not lovers. You have already discovered that you will be dispensed with when it suits them. So you do what is best for you.

Is personal thing, as in giving your word and keeping it if the other person keeps their end of the bargin.

The OP signed a document saying she will start W date do X and Y, get paid, and give Z amount of notice.

If she brings up her starting a job in 2 weeks in the interview, they would be nuts or very impressed to risk taking her on as she may get a better offer from someone else. => Loose her and other second best offer.

The timing may be that she gets the contract before she starts, but if from 'day W' she is working for Job 1 and telling Job 2 she is not that is dishonesty about her CV ( but not enough to reach gross misconduct to in most jobs).

EmmaMaria · 09/02/2025 17:17

AnSolas · 09/02/2025 16:52

Is personal thing, as in giving your word and keeping it if the other person keeps their end of the bargin.

The OP signed a document saying she will start W date do X and Y, get paid, and give Z amount of notice.

If she brings up her starting a job in 2 weeks in the interview, they would be nuts or very impressed to risk taking her on as she may get a better offer from someone else. => Loose her and other second best offer.

The timing may be that she gets the contract before she starts, but if from 'day W' she is working for Job 1 and telling Job 2 she is not that is dishonesty about her CV ( but not enough to reach gross misconduct to in most jobs).

Show quote history

Rubbish. Employers freqyently give back word after offering someone a job (and often after they have resigned from their existing one). This is employment, not bonded servitude - nobody has "given their word" or been dishonest. Employers have not a single second thought about disposing of workers for their own reasons/ convenience, and there is not reason at all why employees should be beholden to them for giving them a job. It's a simple cash transaction. You aren't grateful to the guy who sells you some carrots, and he isn't grateful to you for buying them - it's a simple cash transaction. So is employment. You have something to sell (labour) and the employer has something they want to buy (your labour). And if they decide your labour isn't required any longer, just like unwanted carrots, you will be binned.

AnSolas · 09/02/2025 18:05

EmmaMaria · 09/02/2025 17:17

Rubbish. Employers freqyently give back word after offering someone a job (and often after they have resigned from their existing one). This is employment, not bonded servitude - nobody has "given their word" or been dishonest. Employers have not a single second thought about disposing of workers for their own reasons/ convenience, and there is not reason at all why employees should be beholden to them for giving them a job. It's a simple cash transaction. You aren't grateful to the guy who sells you some carrots, and he isn't grateful to you for buying them - it's a simple cash transaction. So is employment. You have something to sell (labour) and the employer has something they want to buy (your labour). And if they decide your labour isn't required any longer, just like unwanted carrots, you will be binned.

Show quote history

You may have missed the fact that the OP said

I have signed the contract for the first job,

So she has "given her word".

And if OP has started her first job and finished it before she joins her dream job she may end up lying during the interview. Because they will ask about prior employment and availability.

If she is in a regulated industy and subject to checks, failure to disclose the job is her actively preventing her employer from carrying out a required check.

None of that has anything to do with any employer.
Its her making choices which work for her.

Good managers prefer hire easy manageable people so honest, no chip on sholder, no unresolves trama from prior crap employers, etc. People who can get on with the job, get paid and go home.
That is because they too want to do their job and get paid and go home the same as anyone else. What they dont want is new employee J in accounts walking out and noone is getting paid.

Hiddenhouse · 09/02/2025 18:10

It’s a short life and sadly loyalty doesn’t count in work these days. Go for the interview and make your decision if you get offered the job. One thing at a time

PrincessHoneysuckle · 09/02/2025 18:15

I got a job I really didn't want but when there was a delay in my DBS coming back I went to an interview for a job I did want.Git that job and declined the original.Been there 5 months now and so glad I did it .

Hoppinggreen · 09/02/2025 18:19

If your new job had a change that meant they didn't need you anymore they would just pay you your notice and let you go, even if you hadn't yet started.
IF you decide to take the other job you should be upfront and offer to work your (presumably short) notice but they probably won't want you to.
Of course this isn't something you even need to think about unless you go for and get the other job so worry about it then

Hotflushesandchilblains · 09/02/2025 18:36

Go to the interview. It may not lead to anything. If it does and is better for you, go for it. I had something similar once - made redundant, offered part time somewhere else and while I was waiting to start, got offered full time elsewhere. So I took that. Companies do what is best for them when they need to - as employees, we need to as well.

EmmaMaria · 09/02/2025 22:18

@AnSolas You may have missed the fact that the OP said
I have signed the contract for the first job,
So she has "given her word".

No I did not miss that. I repeat, the employment relationship is not bonded servitude. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to resign or give notice at any time you want including your first few weeks. Employers would not hesitate to do so if the shie is on the other foot.

I am sorry but in terms of employment law you are talking utter rubbish.

"Good managers prefer hire easy manageable people so honest, no chip on sholder, no unresolves trama from prior crap employers, etc. People who can get on with the job, get paid and go home.
That is because they too want to do their job and get paid and go home the same as anyone else. What they dont want is new employee J in accounts walking out and noone is getting paid."

I have no idea what this stream of illiterate consciousness means, but you have no idea what a good manager wants. A good manager wants the best person for the role, and someone who is happy in that position - not somebody who has been forced to perform a role or someone who regrets their choices. People who have "unresolved trauma from prior crap employers" etc., etc., need caring and supportive managers who bring out the best in them. Not throwing on the scrapheap through no fault of their own - which seems to be what you think. As a manager I have never gone for the "easy manageble people" - I went for the best and that is what I got.

guinnessguzzler · 09/02/2025 22:48

I'm about as loyal and straight up as they come and even I would go for the interview. Two, closely linked, things to help you feel better about it: a) If they only just interviewed and you turn them down soon they can go back to one of the other candidates without restarting the recruitment process, so although I'm sure they will be disappointed not to have you, it actually won't cost them too much time and money and b) Far better to mess them about a little now than end up leaving for another job in 6 months time when they've invested a lot more in you and don't have reserve candidates to fall back on.

AnSolas · 10/02/2025 00:13

EmmaMaria · 09/02/2025 22:18

@AnSolas You may have missed the fact that the OP said
I have signed the contract for the first job,
So she has "given her word".

No I did not miss that. I repeat, the employment relationship is not bonded servitude. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to resign or give notice at any time you want including your first few weeks. Employers would not hesitate to do so if the shie is on the other foot.

I am sorry but in terms of employment law you are talking utter rubbish.

"Good managers prefer hire easy manageable people so honest, no chip on sholder, no unresolves trama from prior crap employers, etc. People who can get on with the job, get paid and go home.
That is because they too want to do their job and get paid and go home the same as anyone else. What they dont want is new employee J in accounts walking out and noone is getting paid."

I have no idea what this stream of illiterate consciousness means, but you have no idea what a good manager wants. A good manager wants the best person for the role, and someone who is happy in that position - not somebody who has been forced to perform a role or someone who regrets their choices. People who have "unresolved trauma from prior crap employers" etc., etc., need caring and supportive managers who bring out the best in them. Not throwing on the scrapheap through no fault of their own - which seems to be what you think. As a manager I have never gone for the "easy manageble people" - I went for the best and that is what I got.

You are rude so have fun ranting at what a happy great manage you are.

JMSA · 10/02/2025 00:42

Go for it! This kind of thing - namely, changing your mind about a job - happens all the time.
Very best of luck with it all.