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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH always sleeping

33 replies

Thinker00 · 08/02/2025 21:34

AIBU that my DH is always snoozing. I just find him so boring now as come 8.30pm every night he’s falling asleep. I may as well be on my own.

I wouldn’t mind but he gets a full nights sleep too.

OP posts:
WaHaHa99 · 08/02/2025 21:40

Does he need checking by the Dr OP? Someone will be along soon with suggestions I hope 🙏🤞😔

Christmasgirl4 · 08/02/2025 21:40

Is he maybe unwell? I'd be worried there was something underlying. Hopefully not but is it worth chatting to the GP about it?

Original poster
Thinker00 · 08/02/2025 21:55

I’ve mentioned to him several times about seeing a GP but he’s not interested and just shrugs it off saying he’s always been the same. He was never a bad as this when I met him.

I’ve told him how I feel but he’s not interested and basically doesn’t care.

OP posts:
MrsMitford3 · 08/02/2025 21:58

Does he snore?
Is he overweight?

Wondering if he has sleep apnea?

Original poster
Thinker00 · 08/02/2025 22:05

@MrsMitford3 yes to both. I’ve also mentioned this to him but he’s bit interested just brushes it off. He really doesn’t care and thinks it’s quite normal to need all that sleep.

OP posts:
Nothatgingerpirate · 08/02/2025 22:13

That wouldn't get on my nerves, OP.
🤫

Endofyear · 08/02/2025 22:31

It's not normal for him to be falling asleep all the time. It could be a number of things - sleep apnoea, underractive thyroid, low iron, other deficiencies... he really needs to see his GP and have it investigated. I think you have to speak to him and insist that he does, otherwise your relationship isn't going to last.

24Dogcuddler · 08/02/2025 22:33

My husband is like this now. He has just been diagnosed with sleep apnea. Waiting for a second appointment for the machine.
Fingers crossed. Hoping it helps and that I will get some sleep and he can get some quality sleep.

vivainsomnia · 09/02/2025 07:51

How old is he and how hard does he work? Sleep apnea is very likely.

justineblack · 10/02/2025 06:24

My partner is like this, though it’s better over summer when the evenings are lighter. I’ve been reading up about it and in my partner’s case I believe he has ‘Advanced Phase Sleep Disorder’. This is where basically is body clock is set to fall asleep much earlier than the societal norm.

He gets a full nights sleep though wakes up early (like 4:30am) which isn’t a massive problem for him but it impacts on the relationship over winter as he’s barely awake in the evening and I’m basically on my own.

He’s going to try light therapy - might be worth seeing if your DH would consider trying it? The purpose being to push his sleep pattern back.

Boredlass · 10/02/2025 06:24

I’m up early for work so that’s when I go to bed

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 10/02/2025 06:27

I'm the same as your husband so I voted YABU 🤣

LostMyLanyard · 10/02/2025 06:37

Team DH here  I'm bloody knackered by 8.30 and often give up and go to bed by 9! I have a very stressful job though...and am up at 5.30 and in work by 7.00.

I don't get home until around 6.45pm and still have and often still have work to do!

I'm 60...this dogged tiredness has affected me in the last couple of years, so possibly age and the stresses of my job are catching up with me. I'm a Deputy Head of a school 😬

Is your DHs job stressful? How old is he?

discdiscsnap · 10/02/2025 06:57

What do you do on an evening? Watching tv on settee is very relaxing but if he's tired I could see why he snoozes. Do you have hobbies? Play games? Do you see friends/family? Is he same at a weekend?

SunLift · 10/02/2025 07:00

Do you think he could be depressed? Some people hide it well, but it can show through sleeping a lot. It could be why he’s reluctant to go to the doctor, because some people don’t like talking about their mental health.

Tallerandtall · 10/02/2025 07:08

@Thinker00

i bet he needs vitamin D

lemongrizzly · 10/02/2025 07:47

Not normal and if he drives he could end up killing someone. I think you need to insist he goes to the doctor.

Seaside1234 · 10/02/2025 08:23

Excessive tiredness was my husband's main symptom of diabetes. He definitely needs to go to the GP, but you can't make him, he'll have to choose when he's ready to do that. Does he fall asleep during the day? Have difficulty getting up in the morning?

Bluebellwood129 · 10/02/2025 08:25

Tell him to get his testosterone level checked

lemongrizzly · 10/02/2025 08:48

LostMyLanyard · 10/02/2025 06:37

Team DH here  I'm bloody knackered by 8.30 and often give up and go to bed by 9! I have a very stressful job though...and am up at 5.30 and in work by 7.00.

I don't get home until around 6.45pm and still have and often still have work to do!

I'm 60...this dogged tiredness has affected me in the last couple of years, so possibly age and the stresses of my job are catching up with me. I'm a Deputy Head of a school 😬

Is your DHs job stressful? How old is he?

Tiredness and actually falling asleep a lot are not the same thing.

Charel2 · 10/02/2025 09:07

My DH did this for years and it turned out he had diabetes. His doctor told him he could have gone into a diabetic coma his sugar levels were so high. Drag him to the GP!

Original poster
Thinker00 · 10/02/2025 09:48

I don’t really want to say too much about him in case he is on here. But I’ve taken his work hours and age etc into account.

Ive mentioned all the above to him before, sleep apnea, diabetes, iron deficiency etc but he still won’t go to GP, just shrugs it off and says it’s normal to sleep that much and I’m different because I don’t need all that sleep.

Thanks for all the replies, think I’ll just continue to bang my head against a brick wall with him as he is extremely stubborn and just hope that I don’t get so fed up with it and walk away one day.

OP posts:
Twaddlepip · 10/02/2025 10:36

Thinker00 · 10/02/2025 09:48

I don’t really want to say too much about him in case he is on here. But I’ve taken his work hours and age etc into account.

Ive mentioned all the above to him before, sleep apnea, diabetes, iron deficiency etc but he still won’t go to GP, just shrugs it off and says it’s normal to sleep that much and I’m different because I don’t need all that sleep.

Thanks for all the replies, think I’ll just continue to bang my head against a brick wall with him as he is extremely stubborn and just hope that I don’t get so fed up with it and walk away one day.

Is that likely? Why would he be here? To check up on you?

What is his job? How old is he? Is he very overweight? He needs a doctor or a blood test.

stayathomer · 10/02/2025 10:39

What time is he up at in the morning though? Dh doesn’t get why I’m falling asleep most nights at 9 if I sit down but I’m up at 6.30/7 and it’s non stop then til the evening

Thirteenblackcat · 10/02/2025 10:45

Thinker00 · 10/02/2025 09:48

I don’t really want to say too much about him in case he is on here. But I’ve taken his work hours and age etc into account.

Ive mentioned all the above to him before, sleep apnea, diabetes, iron deficiency etc but he still won’t go to GP, just shrugs it off and says it’s normal to sleep that much and I’m different because I don’t need all that sleep.

Thanks for all the replies, think I’ll just continue to bang my head against a brick wall with him as he is extremely stubborn and just hope that I don’t get so fed up with it and walk away one day.

I was all ready to say YABU for not having more empathy but having read all your posts I see he’s not doing anything to help himself, so YANBU.

this must be very frustrating for you.

Is there anyone who he would listen to? He sounds like he is just dismissive of your opinions and thoughts so if you can get someone to speak to him who would make him see what an unreasonable person he’s being maybe he would see sense.