To take up a job offer even if it risks my relationship

[Woodenbeams]

I’m late 40’s. DP is the same age.

I have grown up kids. Dp’s are school age.

we live south east, but I’ve been offered a great job in Edinburgh. It’s everything I’ve wanted job wise and have always wanted to live in Edinburgh.

i would do it for a couple of years before moving back. But will this jeopardise my relationship? We would have to be long distance- his career is in London and he couldn’t move his DC as he shares custody.

we haven’t been together that long, but our relationship is the best I’ve ever experienced. I don’t want to mess it up, but I also want to get everything out of my career after having it on a back burner while raising kids.

i feel like this is my time to achieve some work related goals. I worry about letting my career slide for a relationship that could always end ( divorce has made me very cynical)

But I think this relationship is very special ( as is DP). He is willing to try and make it work, but I don’t think either of us can guarantee it will

I would say go for it!! If your relationship is that good then it will work long distance and he will support you.

Do not give up your dream job for a relationship that may or may not last.

If the relationship is really the one, then he will hang in there.

I would never put my life on hold for a bloke.

Go for it and best of luck!

What’s his opinion?

If it’s the right relationship you will make it work with the distance. Don’t give up this opportunity.

I used to do similar distance in LT relationship. We saw each other most weekends. I travelled the most usually. Used to go down on friday night and come home Sunday night. Sometimes we would do a long weekend and meet in the middle
Edinburgh to London is only 4 hours on the train or so or an hours flight.

Honestly, I am not sure a relationship would last if you only see eachother once a month for the next few years. It might of course but also if it's a new relationship then, ya know...oh well. Lots of men out there.

BUT - just from your post, this sounds like an adventure you're really excited about so, I really think you have to do it.

You'd be crazy to give up a job for a new relationship. Don't do it.

Relationships can work long distance. DH and I did it for years.

I think you have to take it in your circumstances. Sounds great and what you want. The relationship can still work!

If your partner is worth anything he would not want you to turn down a work opportunity for the relationship's sake.

This. Good luck.

Take the job. I'll be honest, it's unlikely the relationship will last the distance but don't give up your dream job.

I think this too. If your relationship is good enough, you will make the long distance stuff work...if it's not good enough, best know now.

We did long distance for the first 4 years...21 years ago.

Go for the job. It's a newish relationship with someone at a different life stage. That's not to say drop your partner or see it as not likely to work out, but approach it as him focussing on his school age kids for a couple of years and you doing this for your career and making time for each other when his kids aren't with him. I would approach him letting him know he is a priority but this is too and you want to make both work.

If he isn't in, pick the job. In my experience, long distance is fine with an end point in mind.

@tidyhousetidymind

Me too, family is everything, I'd never put a job first.

But he's not family... he's a bloke she hasn't been seeing long. How is that putting family first?