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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do people still dress up

37 replies

User67556 · 08/02/2025 11:40

To go to the ballet? Taking my daughter to see the cinderella ballet in Southampton tonight, I say we need to look smart, My daughter wants to wear a nice dress (she's 8) but my husband says no one does that anymore unless it's a big event in London for example.

YABU no one dresses up smart for ballet anymore
YANBU of course you dress up

OP posts:
Nitgel · 08/02/2025 11:43

Some people dress up. It's kind of nice to imo.

TMGM · 08/02/2025 11:43

I’ve always loved to dress up for the theatre and still do, it makes it feel more special. Let her wear her dress and I hope you both have a lovely time.

username299 · 08/02/2025 11:45

It's optional.

NOTANUM · 08/02/2025 11:46

I’m in the dress up camp - it makes a big event even more special.

Original poster
User67556 · 08/02/2025 11:47

Thanks I've never done it for the theatre even in the west end and Broadway but I thought it was expected for ballet.

OP posts:
Lentilweaver · 08/02/2025 11:48

I go to the ballet often in London. Some people dress up, some come in jeans and leggings.
I realise that's unhelpful but that's how it is.
A nice dress for your DD would be fine though.

EggshellAttic · 08/02/2025 11:54

Lentilweaver · 08/02/2025 11:48

I go to the ballet often in London. Some people dress up, some come in jeans and leggings.
I realise that's unhelpful but that's how it is.
A nice dress for your DD would be fine though.

This. I was always on my way home from work stopping in at the ROH for opera or ballet, so wore whatever I’d normally have been wearing. Which, if I was a library day, was probably jeans, biker boots and a corduroy trench coat.

But absolutely wear what you like. No one’s going to impose a dress-down dress code at the door.

PeachBlossom1234 · 08/02/2025 12:05

I took my DD9 to the ballet at Christmas and we both dressed up and most people there did too. Go for it, put on your best frocks - life’s too short for them to be in the wardrobe!

FuckMeUpFlorida · 08/02/2025 12:06

I'd rather be over dressed (for everything!) than under-dressed. I don't mind the stares if I am over dressed.

DappledThings · 08/02/2025 12:08

Some do, some don't. Not sure there's anywhere where it's "expected" these days outside of a Buckingham Palace garden party or a wedding.

AlertCat · 08/02/2025 12:09

Last time I went to the ballet (not in London) there was a complete mix of clothes. I think anything goes! Wear what you want. If dd has a nice dress let her wear it, she’ll have grown out of it soon enough! And same for you, life is too short not to wear the nice clothes.

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 08/02/2025 12:11

The best thing to do is take a look at the website of the place you are going and check if they have a dress code.

If they do not have a dress code you best believe there will be people there in leggings or jeans and that at least 50% of the audience will have made no effort at all.

This is because no-one has a sense of occasion any more and our current culture is very much "you do you, it's no-one else's business, noone can tell anyone what to do or exclude anyone for any reason ever".

In the spirit of that you can absolutely go in a tiara and full-length gloves if you wish, but just be prepared to look out of place.

GinAndJuice99 · 08/02/2025 12:17

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 08/02/2025 12:11

The best thing to do is take a look at the website of the place you are going and check if they have a dress code.

If they do not have a dress code you best believe there will be people there in leggings or jeans and that at least 50% of the audience will have made no effort at all.

This is because no-one has a sense of occasion any more and our current culture is very much "you do you, it's no-one else's business, noone can tell anyone what to do or exclude anyone for any reason ever".

In the spirit of that you can absolutely go in a tiara and full-length gloves if you wish, but just be prepared to look out of place.

It won't have a dress code. It will be at an ordinary theatre. Very few people will dress up.

But obviously she should wear a nice dress if she wants!

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 08/02/2025 12:21

GinAndJuice99 · 08/02/2025 12:17

It won't have a dress code. It will be at an ordinary theatre. Very few people will dress up.

But obviously she should wear a nice dress if she wants!

Show quote history

Well no, I didn't think it would, but I was trying to explain that unless people are made to dress up, most people will not.

In the past, social expectations made us dress up, now they are gone (except for maybe weddings and funerals), only dress codes make us dress up, when they are phased out, hardly anyone will dress up.

PontiacFirebird · 08/02/2025 12:21

I don’t want to live in a world where people don’t feel like they can dress up for the ballet! Of course she should wear a lovely dress.

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 08/02/2025 12:22

PontiacFirebird · 08/02/2025 12:21

I don’t want to live in a world where people don’t feel like they can dress up for the ballet! Of course she should wear a lovely dress.

Sadly, you're already living in it. The existence of this thread proves it.

mitogoshigg · 08/02/2025 12:26

Most people will be making a bit of an effort as it's big thing, outside London that is. Last time k went to the opera (regional touring) many men were in chinos and shirts (not suits) and plenty of dresses on ladies and a few younger girls in full on bridesmaids type dresses, I'm guessing an excuse to wear them. A few men were in dinners suits even but they did stand out!!! You can wear whatever you want but even my generally casually dressed dh puts on a proper shirt rather than a gig t shirt for the theatre. I wore a knee length work dress, he was in black trousers and a shirt (it was after work)

mitogoshigg · 08/02/2025 12:27

London is more casual than elsewhere i would say

Oblomov25 · 08/02/2025 12:37

Let dd wear whatever she wants. Who's gonna care? We went to see Nutcracker in London and massive variety of dressed up massively to very low key.

Oblomov25 · 08/02/2025 12:39

She can wear a friggin tutu if she wants. How would anyone else be affected? Zero! Encourage her to wear whatever she wants, and to walk proud.

This thread is saddening isn't it? Sad

Lentilweaver · 08/02/2025 12:40

I stupidly missed this was in Southampton. People will likely be dressier than London then.

honeylulu · 08/02/2025 12:42

It's a real mix and you can definitely dress up if you want to.

I went to see the Nutcracker (matinée) last Sunday. Not London but not far from London either. With my daughter and a big group (teachers, pupils and mums) from her ballet school.

There were lots of people in casual wear. Some people REALLY dressed up, especially mum and daughter pairs, in long glittery party dresses/evening dresses. There was even one lady in a ball gown. Then some people mid way between the two, wearing what you might wear to go out for dinner in a posh restaurant.

I went for the middle ground and wore a nice dress with a smart coat and smart shoes. My daughter (age 10) went casual in tracksuit bottoms and t shirt and fluffy jacket, just her preference.

Honestly, any of those options were fine, no one got pointed at or disapproved of. I loved seeing the mix. I think it's great people can go to the theatre in their comfies if they feel like it. I think it's great people can go to the theatre fully dressed up if they feel like it.

Personally I wear casual clothes a lot of the time, to WFH and run errands/taxi the kids about. I like the chance to get my nice stuff out of the wardrobe for an "occasion", in the same way i like wearing my traditional office clothes to the office even though most people don't, because it makes a nice change and it's a shame to have nicer clothes and never wear them. Fair play to the 100% casual folk who rejoice in never having to wear a suit or dress though. Anything goes these days!

MasterBeth · 08/02/2025 12:42

If you're 8 and you want to, of course you should!

Lyannaa · 08/02/2025 12:44

We did in December when we went to see The Nutcracker.

Ballet dancers work extremely hard and have gruelling schedules. I think it's polite to show that you respect this.

Divebar2021 · 08/02/2025 12:46

If you’re not wearing a pretty dress to the ballet where are you wearing them?

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