SAHP and division of household tasks

[Theo92r]

This might be in the wrong place, perhaps it should be in parenting or relationships?

I've been reading threads about how working parents split the load with the SAHP when at home/not working and realised that can't be further from the case for me.

I'm the SAHP. Partner WFH. 3 kids: newborn, toddler, and a teenager. I'm on shift 24/7 atm with nightfeeds, but even before the newborn was here, my day would start when toddler was up (usually 7am) and finished after I clean the kitchen after dinner (we eat late due teenager's sporting commitments 4 evenings a week) so I'd finish cleaning most days between 9pm-10pm). They also have a full day of sports every Saturday, so I don't get much respite then either. My partner would sometimes help with dishes, bedtime, laundry, very occasionally he'll cook. But this has always been infrequent and irregular, and often only if I asked. 90% of household stuff has always fallen on me regardless or whether partner was at work or not. He does all taxi-ing for teeneager mind you, and often is the one to drop us off at hospital appointments since I don't drive. During weekends, he'd rarely sort breakfast even on the Sunday we're all at home together in the morning.

I actually didn't realise other SAHP had a different set up! Stupid really. But I suppose I saw my mum and aunts do the same, and assumed it was the norm.

Just wanted to discuss with other SAHP!

It’s a “choosing to have a newborn and a toddler while already having a teenager” thing.

Yea, we didn't choose that. Infertility is funny like that.

The way my DH organised things was he worked and I did everything in the house and got most of it done during the week. We then had weekends to do fun stuff with the DC.
Does your teen have anyone who does the same sport you could share lifts etc with?
My age gap was 12, nearly 2 and a newborn.

For childcare, we split everything equally outside 9-5 (or whatever hours husband was out when he commuted). For housework, we split everything equally that I couldn't get done during the day I was at home.

When DS was an infant, I just did the childcare so all household chores were split outside 9-5. As he got older, I could get some things done while he was around so I did maybe 25-50% of it. When he started nursery two days a week, I was home all day alone so I did basically all the chores.