Wanting to change my name

[Justlivelovelaugheat]

I am one of 10 kids. My mom had her first at 16 and if you can imagine she wasn’t very mature. We ended up being called ridiculous names in my opinion and it goes as far as the first 5 letters of all our names had to be the same so they all sound very similar. I think this was testament to my mom’s ego.

I hated my name growing up. It’s extremely long, hard to pronounce, I was laughed at in school, and used to dread my name being butchered in the register. I still don’t understand why parents give their kids such a hard time with their first name in the honour of being “unique”. My kids are called Mia and Henry just so they don’t have to go through what I did. Most people didn’t even say my name growing up because they couldn’t and I always felt like I wasn’t an individual because of how many siblings I had with the same ridiculous part of their names too. For example; our names are like grapely grapemia grapesia grapefire if that makes sense (not actually grape of course but equally as ridiculous.)

Long story short, as an adult I have shortened my name. I have a degree but I now want to change careers and I think I am more likely to get a decent job with a normal name as i know first hand that even though companies shouldn’t discriminate, they will. I’d have to change all my documents (passport etc.) does this seem like too much? Should I just leave it?

Your name is such an integral part of who we are, it’s not worth going through life hating it or being embarrassed. It’s also very easy to change so go for it.

I sympathise, I hate my name too and it was chosen by my parents on a stupid whim too.

But you don't have to change it on all official documents, you can apply for jobs and sign off as your nickname so they know that's your preferred name, different from your official name.

At my workplace, my email name etc are all in my nickname. Everyone calls me by my nickname.

Yeah, change it. Do you know what you'd change it to, e.g. something with similar sounds/letters but just normal, or something completely different?

Go for it!

Literally something completely different. I’ve always liked Nicole.

Definitely change it. Hope you have something lovely in mind. Yes it'll be a pain with the paperwork but so worth it.

Is your name Robin? I love that name. If I ever had another daughter that’s what I’d call her.

Could you use your middle name? Plenty of people do.

Workplaces are very used to preferred names now. So many people at my workplace have it set up.

Life is too short but also too long to live with a name you don't like. Go for it. All the admin will be short pain for the pay off of actually having a name you love and are proud of. Good luck to you!

Definitely not! It means something in a country we’re not even from and moreover it’s also a category on some naughty websites sigh. It’s worst than my first name. Had no idea what she was thinking lol

Haha no I'd love Robin too. No, my name is an odd, long name, from a different language, that's not even part of my (mixed) cultural heritage. Like, imagine having a long Polish name that everyone can't pronounce and you're not even Polish or speak it. Parents chose it on a whim. Named after a villain in a book. I hate it. (It's not Polish, just an example)

Sorry if this is a derail, just saying I sympathise with you op!

I changed my name by Deed Poll and it's pretty straightforward and not too costly. Start with the passport because the passport is universally accepted as holding your true name and you can use it as proof of name change with other organisations. The banks are pretty easy, as is DVLA and HMRC. If you have your name on any title deeds, the Land Registry is slightly more complicated but not rocket science. Never regretted the decision.

Cross posted! Yep I get you, me too!

Edit - me too on the foreign thing. Not the naughty website, gosh I'm sorry that's awful

Just get on and do it. I bet you’ll be so glad you did and wonder why you waited so long. I know mentioning transgender people is asking for trouble on mumsnet, but there is the obvious point that people changing their first name is not that uncommon these days, it really shouldn’t raise too many eyebrows.

Do it!

Set yourself free and enjoy your new name.

Do it. It's your life not your parent's and it matters to you. You have the right to go through your life with a name that you can carry happily not one that brings you down.

Do it girl! I changed my surname after family estrangement and it was one of the best decisions xx

If you don’t mind me asking, did you choose your own surname or was it one that had some sort of meaning (like your mom’s maiden name or something?)

Make sure you use the free one!

https://freedeedpoll.org.uk/free

Why would you go through all that, type out all that then say, shall I just leave it?!

Change your name!

No chose a brand new one - named after a woman (celeb) who i admire

I also had a name that was from a country that I wasn't from, so I changed it to an English surname x

I don hate my name, but I just don’t think of myself as that, haven’t for years. I go by a, being honest, slightly silly nickname that my sister gave me when we were very young. I was hesitant to use it professionally for years because I thought nobody would take me seriously. But eventually I realised that I don’t really identify with my birth name anymore so I just started introducing myself by the nickname and no one has batted an eyelid.

I feel very comfortable derailing here because you have a very strong consensus of what to do.

So I'm circling back to the op, are you telling me your parents found 10 names where the first 5 letters are the same?

Yes. Very tacky in my opinion but each to their own. I used to think in my teenage years having kids to her was more of a game to see if she could outdo herself with the next name than actually wanting more. She loves babies and naming them and dressing them up, not so much older kids with feelings and opinions.