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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I in wrong here? Tutoring

20 replies

Pleasehelp12345 · 07/02/2025 19:09

I have been tutoring a GCSE pupil whose first language is not English, I posted previous as her Mother had said £20 was too much for conversation lessons.

Anyway we've been working a few classic novels, and do a mixture of exam questions, discussions etc. And past papers.

The girl is aiming for a 4, she also needs further language help as she writes things like 'he want' or 'it change '.

I've only had 2 lessons and have been trying to work on vocabulary with her. We looked at synonyms and antonyms and I wrote her a list of new words to learn, ones which she had not understood the meaning of.

The words were things like overt, copious, bashful. These will feature in her gcse, anyway at the end of the lesson the Mum saw the word list and said why am I giving her that, it's far too easy, her daughter is a gcse pupil.
The mother has quite low level English but I tried my best to explain its new vocabulary that shed learned, and the daughter I think explained in their native language.

I asked if they'd like the same time next week and she said we'll let you know. It might be genuine or might be a brush off, ill try not to take it personally.

I feel like I've done something wrong, I know you can't please everyone though. But the mum is in the room for lessons and could see we were doing gcse past papers.
Not sure what else to do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pleasehelp12345 · 07/02/2025 19:10

Last week she confirmed the same time on a Friday, so that's why I was unsure about the we'll let you know.
I have my other clients on regular days and understandly need some notice.

OP posts:
savoycabbage · 07/02/2025 19:13

I don't think there is much you can do as you are never going to be able to satisfy this woman because she's nuts.

You already know you haven't done anything wrong, you don't need us to tell you.

Why is she employing a tutor if she's so knowledgeable herself about her DD's capabilities and the exam content?

Disclaimer-I'm a primary teacher and I employed a tutor for my primary dd.

YouDeserveBetterSoAskForIt · 07/02/2025 19:13

I taught in Cambodia and really struggled with things similar to this. The parents are so desperate for their child to be the best, to succeed, to be the one in their family that will be highly educated and provide.

They get ideas in their heads that are wildly unrealistic. I had parents complaining that I wasn't giving my class of 6 year olds enough exams and why couldn't they read chapter books in English after two terms.

I realised there is no reasoning with parents like this because they aren't bad people, they are just full of determination and can't be told.

I personally wouldn't be too worried if they don't ask you back. It will be stressful working with them going forward.

MumChp · 07/02/2025 19:14

Honestly I would stop the collaboration.
Mom doesn't understand the school system and doesn't trust you. I won't end well if you carry on.

Original poster
Pleasehelp12345 · 07/02/2025 19:14

Thank you for the replies. Yeah I suppose you can never please everyone..i could understand if I were giving her words like cat or dog, but she had no idea what copious or bashful meant.

OP posts:
Tittibits · 07/02/2025 19:42

Totally obsessed with her child being a genius. Mom will never be happy with you. Drop her and wish her the best.

JustWantsSomeSleep · 07/02/2025 19:49

I’d not worry. Maybe for the best if she doesn’t continue with your help, though appreciate you’ll loose out on the income.

petesdragfrom · 07/02/2025 19:55

I think previously we all said this was not a good fit for tutoring.

You're kind for giving it a go OP, but you're probably in a losing battle. I'd bow out now.

Original poster
Pleasehelp12345 · 07/02/2025 20:08

Without sounding rude, the Mum likely has no idea what the words on that paper meant as her own level of English id put at A1 level. So not quite sure what she thought was gpo easy.
Yeah, ill focus on the other clients and maybe look for somebody new. Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Pleasehelp12345 · 07/02/2025 20:24

Too easy * too late to edit.

OP posts:
treesandsun · 07/02/2025 20:25

I think this is just not going to be a good fit and whoever she gets she is going to want it doing differently/better and you will forever feel frustrated. Even if she does want to book I would explain to her that you don't think it is a good fit - you are qualified and experienced and she needs to trust that and she appears not to and she may find she is better with someone else.

There is a difference between an interested and engaged parent and one who is telling you how to do your job.

Iceache · 07/02/2025 20:27

Unless I’ve misunderstood, you’re charging way too little for tutoring if it’s £20 an hour!

I’d be watching this one carefully… Any more fuss or interference and they’d be dropped!

MumChp · 07/02/2025 20:27

Pleasehelp12345 · 07/02/2025 20:08

Without sounding rude, the Mum likely has no idea what the words on that paper meant as her own level of English id put at A1 level. So not quite sure what she thought was gpo easy.
Yeah, ill focus on the other clients and maybe look for somebody new. Thanks

She doesn't understand the school system and has poor communication skills.
If she trusted you I would tutor the child. She doesn't trust you. She'll blame you if she isn't happy with an a test or a school report.

PeppermintPatty10 · 07/02/2025 20:29

Agree with @Iceache above - I spoke to two tutoring companies this evening and they charge between £67 and £130 an hour!
I'm sure you know this OP and it's kind of you to make your prices more affordable. My point is that if you lose this client it wouldn't be the end of the world. Sometimes it's just not a good fit - you did nothing wrong.

LIZS · 07/02/2025 20:33

I don't think you did anything wrong but maybe you needed to increase the challenge more gently and get the student to write sown the new vocab and meanings as reference.

Original poster
Pleasehelp12345 · 07/02/2025 20:36

LIZS · 07/02/2025 20:33

I don't think you did anything wrong but maybe you needed to increase the challenge more gently and get the student to write sown the new vocab and meanings as reference.

Yeah that's a good point, this paper i left was actually a homework task where she had to come up with the definition of each word.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pleasehelp12345 · 07/02/2025 22:37

Feeling better now. Not expecting to hear from them again but it'll be a blessing in disguise I think as like posters have said, she'll probably find other non existent things to moan about.

OP posts:
Bogginsthe3rd · 07/02/2025 22:45

Pleasehelp12345 · 07/02/2025 20:24

Too easy * too late to edit.

That will cost you in the final exam.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 07/02/2025 23:00

I teach maths and used to private tutor. I’ve only had one difficult parent and in hindsight I really wish I’d dumped them before they dumped me, it still bothers me that they think I was the problem when the reality is that they were an entitled nightmare with no understanding of basic good manners. You know what you’re doing and you know your subject. And £20 is ridiculously cheap for a private tutor. I’d give it a few lessons to see if it’s just a one off issue, but if it’s not I’d politely say it’s not going to work out. Life is too short to be dealing with that shit. (I may be slightly biased from personal experience, can you tell?!).

Silvertulips · 07/02/2025 23:08

Some kids are harder work than others, I was a TA and delay with the lower ability. Either they can’t or the don’t want to and it’s a struggle.

There are plenty of mid kids who need help and want to catch up - much easier to help.

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