To ask if anyone ever renews their wedding vows for a good reason?

[Lollapaloozalondon]

Not meant to be hateful at all- I have been aware of three couples who have renewed their weddings vows, all when infidelity has occurred. Just wondering if anyone knows of anyone who has done it for a genuinely nice reason or is it usually a red flag?

It's a good reason to them. I'm not sure they need a reason to justify it to anyone else.

DF and her husband got married with just two witnesses at the register office when she was really unwell with cancer and it looked like she wouldn't survive.

2 years later she had made a full recovery and so they decided to renew their vows with everyone there, and with a big party.

My friend did, she got married really young and couldn’t afford a big wedding and she is very religious so she had a tiny church wedding with only family afterwards. For many years my friend said she’d love to throw a party for her friends and they all dress up in formal wear and her and her DH will renew their vows. So this is what she did for her 25th wedding anniversary.

It was on Mumsnet that I heard people only renewed their vows if there had been infidelity. I'd never heard that before and had always wanted a vow renewal at a specific time / anniversary.

DH and I have been married 25 years but I didn't suggest it for our anniversary incase people thought that about us. I shouldn't care what people think but that was too much!

I just love him so much, I'd marry him all over again.

My friends recently renewed their vows on their wedding anniversary. Hubby has terminal cancer and they knew he'd be unlikely to live out the year.
Maybe not a "nice" reason, but not a red flag. I think there could be other prompts

I think my parents did it - or something like it - for their 25th anniversary. A very long time ago and they are both dead now so I can't clarify my memory (I was about 7).

But no infidelity. They were both very religious and there was a church service which might have been a renewal or might just have been some sort of celebration.

It was certainly followed by an almighty party.

A couple I know did after 25 years .they're crazy about each other and just wanted to reaffirm that. I think it's really sad that so many put a cynical, negative spin on it.

My DH and I took ourselves off to our local church on our 25th wedding anniversary..
Just us..

Because my DH had been married before we weren't able to have a church wedding (1990).

Because I originally had a very cheap ring we had a beautiful new ring blessed.

It was actually quite emotional..

Still married 10yrs later..

A couple at our church renewed their vows on their 60th Wedding Anniversary. It was a lovely service, and they are a wonderful couple. Highly doubt there was any infidelity just two people who've shared a lifetime together and wanted to celebrate that.

Ahhh these are lovely answers. Aunt and Uncle have just announced they're doing this, be interested to see if it's like a wedding or entirely different

As PPs have said I could imagine illness or crisis would be an understandable reason to do this.

Other than that though I cynically agree with you. It does seem a bit like protesting too much.

Also weddings are such a ballache in the first place I can’t imagine why anyone would want to do it twice.

I think renewing your vows means almost more than getting married in the first place because when you get married you have a rosy picture of what it will be like so you say yes to that. Having been married and still wanting to remarry that person almost means more I think. I think it’s doesn’t mean there has been issues at all.

Family members doing it in a few months for their 40th wedding anniversary- very happily married and no issues.

30th? I think people will be less likely to assume something bad if it's for an impressive number of years as opposed to say 7 or 11

That's so lovely. I guess there's not many original guests which is sad and meaningful at the same time

At church we have had several couples renew vows in ordinary church services to celebrate 50th anniversaries.

I keep thinking about DH and I doing it because when we got married we were young, poor and still in the control of abusive family members we have since managed to get out of our lives. I would love some nice weddingy photos without those family members in them.

Grandparents did it for their 50th anniversary, they wanted to celebrate with all the family. Church blessing then party, it was a lovely day

My parents did for their 50th anniversary. We have a large extended family scattered all over the country and for a while the only thing most of us met up was for funerals. My mum and dad wanted a big happy celebration for a change.

We were going to do it for our 25th but didn’t

dh would still like to do it so we probably will this year, 4 months before our 35th

no idea what to wear though 😳

My husband would like to renew our vows in a few years. I ended up being pregnant for our wedding so couldn’t really make the most of the free bar. I also had to wear a dress I didn’t particularly like. I think he feels a bit guilty.
I honestly couldn’t care less. I was never bothered about having a wedding or being a bride. I’m very happy I married him though.

Been very happily married for 35 years this year and have no plans to renew our wedding vows - as far as I'm concerned we made the vows once and they're still holding!

If it makes other people happy to do it then good on them. Each to their own!

My dear friend and husband did theirs just before she died. It meant so much to them both.

I think it’s odd. To ‘renew’ means that your original vows didn’t mean much.

We did. It was our 25th noone knew I had cancer. It was for us not for anyone elsw

Mumsnet really loves to imagine that everyone who appears happy in a relationship must somehow be faking it and is actually deeply miserable and the husband is cheating. Such a weird, bitter mindset.

I only know one couple who have renewed their vows and it was certainly nothing to do with infidelity. They just got married very young in a very traditional wedding and years later they looked at their wedding photos and felt that their wedding didn’t really reflect who they are any more, and said it was a shame they got married before they even met some of the people who are now their closest friends. So they renewed their vows and had the day they probably wanted all along but felt they couldn’t have when they were 22 because they thought back then that they had to have something traditional.