To give up on my natural hair??

[LadyFoosha]

I have a wavy, slight curl, very poofy, frizzy, it's just the way it grows. I've tried a lot of stuff over the years and as I approach 50, I am getting sick of all the 'rules' and advice about going with my natural texture, uuugh!

Over the years I have tried leaving it alone, no product, no heat, etc.
I have tried 3 years of curly girl method, every product under the sun for my hair type, and yet never really liked the results.
I checked on my health (nails and skin are great), my diet has been good, and I have never used GHD's.
But still my hair does it's thing, no matter how 'healthy' it is.
Hairdressers over the years tell me it's in great condition, that my texture issues are just genetic.

Saw a youtube vid of a woman who came to the same conclusion this morning, and I have finally given myself permission to bloody well blow dry it! It takes 10 mins tops, or less if I use a hot brush, and I can make any style I like.

It's like a revelation that I don't have to pursue perfecting what nature gave me. Life is too damn short, and I have wasted so much time and money trying to heal hair that wasn't even damaged. I don't colour my hair and would always use a heat protector when styling, so that'll have to do from now on. I need a simple routine that is reliable!

I can't be the only one who gave up on the waves/curls? They're beautiful but so chaotic and seem to change all the time, so one week it's fuzzy, the next week straggly, then suddenly it changes shape entirely! It's never boring, I'll give it that, but oh my god I am so tired of dealing with it.

Life gave us devices and the means to make it easier. I admit I put myself under pressure at times to stay true to my natural hair, and curly hair communities sure double down on that pressure too. We change things up all the time, from our natural teeth to our tans, from makeup to caramel highlights. For me, personally, struggling to get along with hard work hair was a total waste of life.

Do what feels best ladies!

God yes. My hair is a mix of fine, coarse, very curly, wavy. It straggles and looks thin and limp yet frizzy if I let it dry naturally.

And for that reason.. I don't! 🤣

15 minutes blow drying and hot brush or straightening is absolutely worth it for me.

Have you tried the products for wavy, as opposed to curly hair that are advertised on Facebook? This stuff

https://merwave.co.uk/products/merwave-starter-kit

eta, didn’t read your post properly. No need go natural if you don’t want to!

I have wavy hair and it can look nice naturally but I still sometimes blow dry it, curl it, straighten it, chuck it up in a bobble/bun. Just do what you like and what makes your life easier!

I look like an old witch when I leave my naturally silver hair curly. Nine months ago I bought a Dyson Airstrait and have lovely soft swishy hair every day. I too used to do curly girl but thought fuck it, was sick of looking like said witch!

I think I saw the same video. I think people need to realise that, while you can minimise breakage and bleach is best avoided, hair texture is genetic. I have curly hair but I use a curling wand all over to tidy up the straggly bendy s-shapes. None of the strands are consistently curly/wavy!

Yup, I wash mine twice a week and either blowdry or straighten it into a bouncy blowout/light wave after airdrying it. I only heat style those two times and it means my hair lasts.

If I leave my natural texture then I have to wash it daily or it looks appalling and it tangles very easily.

My hair is down to the middle of my back and very healthy. I actually think I get more split ends when leaving it natural because I am washing it far more and trying to comb out the tangles.

I've tried every method under the sun and I've finally given myself permission to feel good about myself. Not embracing our waves or curls isn't a moral failing.

So true about genetics. It's upsetting when people presume hair is unkempt or in bad condition just because it frizzes up in humidity. I actually even love the look of pure frizz, some excellent examples at fashion shows, but it never trickles down to real life, lol.

It is damn hard work. I wish I could get back all of the hours in total that I lost to primping my hair into curls that dropped out into a mass of fuzz within an hour or drying.

I think the heaven's sent us modern tools to be able to bypass that stress

If I dry my hair in a ponytail the top is straight when dry. A couple of passes with a wand on the ends makes it lovely and bouncy.

If I leave it alone, air drying makes it stringy and the waves separate into frizz. If I use products and diffuse my hair it turns to sticky cobwebs. Smoothing to some extent is the only way I can get up get dressed and get out of the bloody door.

This was the video

This was the one I saw. Not about curly hair but applies in general!

Can I ask, what about frizz? That's my problem with using tools - no amount of products keep my hair straight when there's moisture in the air 😬

I haven't let my hair dry naturally for over 25 years....it actually doesn't dry fully...if I washed it and left it for an entire day, it would still be damp underneath. It's huge, frizzy, not straight but not curly. Wavy but in weird directions. I only wash it once every 10 days to two weeks...and I blow dry and straighten it every time. No one will ever prize the straighteners out of my hands.

My GHDs will have to be prised out of my cold dead hands one day
My hair is wavy/frizzy/ curly depending on the weather and left natural it just looks crap. Plus I'm going grey and frizzy grey looks like I may have flown to work on my broomstick.
So I blast it dry and run straighteners through and that lasts for 3 days as long as I stay out of the rain! Forget natural!

I don't flatten my hair straight, so either dry in a slicked back ponytail or use a hot brush with a heat spray.

To be honest, I like a bit of rain or moisture outside as it creates waves in my hair that are nicer than my natural pattern. I do find frizz tends to fall out after a bit of time.

I also employ hoods!

You can't stop straightened curly/wavy hair frizzing in moisture. The moisture lifts the cuticles on the hair, the water gets absorbed unevenly and then it all lifts in different directions. Then it dries in place! Annoying but inevitable.

In winter i tend to twist it into a hat, in summer maybe a braid to minimise frizz. It works out ok.

When I was doing the curly girl method it was like that every damn day. I ended up trying out so many oils, sprays, creams, gels, mousse. And for nothing.

It has some advantages though, some rain can create dream waves and a twist or plait can make a lovely variation. But I do find it easier to NOT encourage the curlies.

Find a sympathetic and knowledgeable hairdresser. I didn't do this until my mid fifties when I started to really give up on my hair.

Now, though I say it as should not, my hair looks fabulous. Finding a style and approach that works well with your hair and take it from there.

Good luck.

Just remembered one of the most annoying things that I ought to have put in my OP.

Everyone saying for years that heat styling, blow drying etc made frizz worse!
Then after 3 yrs of no heat whatsoever, and new hair growth, it was STILL as bloody frizzy!

Nothing actually 'fixes' it because it isn't supposed to be a flaw, it's just hair. It doesn't conform to our current beauty standards so we tend to hate it.

No products has ever worked on it, and it pains me to see people throwing cash on it in S&B when we all have such different hair types anyway.

The worst failures for me (amongst many) were Colour WOW, Olaplex, frizz ease, all oils and serums, coconut anything, no-poo, co washing, Kerastase curl range ($$$$££££!!!!), Dyson, Revlon one step, not brushing, curl jelly, basically everything people recommend.

Best results were simple wash and go, no gels or mousses, then sleeping in a french plait!