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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Giving up secure HA tenancy for a mortgage

27 replies

User9loooool · 07/02/2025 15:18

I had a joint mortgage with my ex in my early 20’s but had to sell up due to RS breakdown and then was in horrible rented place for years. Finally got a housing association property some years ago (took the first one that came up) and have a secure tenancy. Back then I did claim UC/tax credits as low income but over time I’ve worked up my career gradually and doing well. My HA place is over £250 a week in rent so not even cheap. I claim nothing fyi.

My children are now turned adults and still live at home but will one day fly the nest. I don’t want to stay in a 3 bed house alone long term. I have a long term partner who has his own place with a mortgage, so he could move into mine, but he is a homeowner and doesn’t want to lose his investment (or rent it out due to potential hassle). He also lives 15 miles away and works even further away so not very good logistics

I am mid 40’s and feel like now is the time to invest in something long term and buy? I looked at council swaps to a smaller place but I can actually afford a mortgage now with partner, even space for the adult DC. It would be similar to my rent payments now but I would own it!

Everyone I tell that we are buying a place tells me I am mad for giving up my secure tenancy.

Someone else can have my house who now really needs it, and I will have an investment perhaps to help me in old age, either care home fees or inheritance for my children? Right now.. I have nothing to leave them.

I have been so grateful for a secure tenancy when I needed it but do I still need it? I could keep it, I could swap it. My DC don’t want to stay in it on their own.

For me it’s things also like my HA property is not to my ideal set up of somewhere that feels like home. I keep it nice but it’s got a cheap kitchen and bathroom - I don’t want to invest in new kitchen and bathroom in rented, as I don’t even own it. My garden needs landscaping to make it attractive - I just keep it basic and tidy but it’s just a basic square of grass, and I don’t want to spend on that either. So I live in a basic bland box, in a location nowhere near my family, partner or job.

AIBU for giving up a secure tenancy to have a joint mortgage?

OP posts:
Glorybox2025 · 07/02/2025 15:25

The only question would be what happens if you split from partner - will you have enough money to put down a deposit on a property of your own or will you end up in private rented? Because you won't get back into HA unless you're extremely lucky. You need to protect your future.

Whammyyammy · 07/02/2025 15:27

Rent payments are life. Mortgage payments are not.
Imagine paying rent when you're retired... no thanks.

DeliciouslyEvil · 07/02/2025 15:28

might not have rent in old age but will have house maintenance costs

Cattery · 07/02/2025 15:28

If you can afford it go for it but remember HA tenancies are like gold dust x

TheyCallMeMrsBug · 07/02/2025 15:31

I am in exactly the same position OP I literally could have written your post word for word. We are definitely going to buy but make sure I have room in the shared budget to build up savings incase it goes wrong relationship wise.

xRobin · 07/02/2025 15:32

I’m in HA now after a similar situation to yours.
I fought like tooth and nail for a home for me and my daughter (7) but I was turned away at every corner because I was a single parent and they preferred tenants with double income households.
It’s a real worry of mine that I’ll be paying rent well into retirement (I’m still 40 years off that).

If you’re going for the mortgage option, given your history, would your partner agree on a pre-nup of sorts that secures your future should your relationship fail?

Catza · 07/02/2025 15:39

If the mortgage is the same as rent, it's a no-brainer for me. However, only if you can leave your partner out of it completely.

Whammyyammy · 07/02/2025 15:40

DeliciouslyEvil · 07/02/2025 15:28

might not have rent in old age but will have house maintenance costs

True. But theyre not fixed monthly payments and house price increases turns your home into an investment or inheritance.

Kitchensinktoday · 07/02/2025 15:45

If you're still paying rent when you've retired, do you get some form of pension credits?

Shireswoman · 07/02/2025 15:54

Buy if the payment is the same. We got caught for over a decade in rented. It cost us £412k. Not a penny off any house. We paid everyone else's mortgage and got treated like sh*t. We even got stalked.

afromom · 07/02/2025 15:56

I left my housing association tenancy 10 years ago. I moved in with my partner, but had the following conditions:

  1. That we would own the property 50/50 (tenants in common) - although he put down the deposit it was my wage that got us the mortgage and I contribute more monthly as he had CM to pay on top of our joint bills.
  2. I was as sure as I could be that we would remain together - together several years first, no plans for more children/already had one each, both fairly stable and unlikely to cheat. And we both got on with each others families, the kids blended without any drama.
  3. I knew in a few years (5 or so from purchasing) that with my salary and half the equity, I could buy another place myself for me and DS if we did spilt or he died.

It's worked for us, we are 8 years on and I'm very happy with my decision, but I wouldn't have done it without the security listed above.

Mizztikle · 07/02/2025 16:01

Have you thought about doing a swap and then doing a right to buy? if you've been renting that long you will be eligible for a discount. It may be cheap enough to purchase on your own.

Poppyseeds79 · 07/02/2025 16:06

I'm in a similar boat OP. Have you checked the RTB calculator to see what % of discount you're entitled to? Have you read up on how much % you'd have to repay if selling property at 5, 10, 15yr point?

Itiswhatitis80 · 07/02/2025 16:11

We lived in a housing association house for 6 years,at the start we were on a low income but retrained an upped our earnings,we gave up the house to buy one,as we thought like you someone else needs it more than us.

Tulipvase · 07/02/2025 16:12

Shireswoman · 07/02/2025 15:54

Buy if the payment is the same. We got caught for over a decade in rented. It cost us £412k. Not a penny off any house. We paid everyone else's mortgage and got treated like sh*t. We even got stalked.

how much was your rent?!

Op - I’d be looking to buy if I was in your shoes.

Original poster
User9loooool · 07/02/2025 17:52

I don’t have RTB and anyway I do not like my house and don’t want to buy it.

I could swap then buy that but there are so many rules, you have to live in it for a certain period.

I am bringing about £10k into the house which is mine. It would be 50/50 with protected deposits. We earn equally but he has more deposit than me. We would both save separately. I have a better pension than he does. I don’t want access to his deposit but he doesn’t want access to mine either.

If either of us split we would both be in the same position financially we would need to each rent or buy shared ownership property (he is in one now). I have until I cannot get a mortgage anymore due to age so another 20 years to save/increase equity to protect me. If I end up single in the future I think share ownership flat would be my best option. Unless the equity is good for us. We are pretty solid

I am worried about rent in old age. HA rents aren’t cheap in all honesty. I do know you have to pay rent in shared ownership but you have different options too

thanks all

OP posts:
Mizztikle · 07/02/2025 18:05

User9loooool · 07/02/2025 17:52

I don’t have RTB and anyway I do not like my house and don’t want to buy it.

I could swap then buy that but there are so many rules, you have to live in it for a certain period.

I am bringing about £10k into the house which is mine. It would be 50/50 with protected deposits. We earn equally but he has more deposit than me. We would both save separately. I have a better pension than he does. I don’t want access to his deposit but he doesn’t want access to mine either.

If either of us split we would both be in the same position financially we would need to each rent or buy shared ownership property (he is in one now). I have until I cannot get a mortgage anymore due to age so another 20 years to save/increase equity to protect me. If I end up single in the future I think share ownership flat would be my best option. Unless the equity is good for us. We are pretty solid

I am worried about rent in old age. HA rents aren’t cheap in all honesty. I do know you have to pay rent in shared ownership but you have different options too

thanks all

Edited

Your right to buy carries over to your new property, it's based on your renting years not how long you've been in the property.

Fidgety31 · 07/02/2025 18:06

I would buy - but not with mortgage costs the same as rent - as you will need to factor in repairs and maintenance costs too - so I would want my mortgage to be slightly lower to accommodate the extra costs of owning .

HoskinsChoice · 07/02/2025 22:39

Definitely buy for exactly the reasons you have mentioned - it will be yours and means you're not renting post retirement but also you're freeing up a house for someone who needs it.

I'd like to see a system where access to social housing is reviewed on an annual basis and where the residents can afford to buy/rent privately, they are moved on. We're so desperately short of social housing, we urgently need to find a way to ensure that only those that really need it are living in them.

Poppyseeds79 · 08/02/2025 00:13

HoskinsChoice · 07/02/2025 22:39

Definitely buy for exactly the reasons you have mentioned - it will be yours and means you're not renting post retirement but also you're freeing up a house for someone who needs it.

I'd like to see a system where access to social housing is reviewed on an annual basis and where the residents can afford to buy/rent privately, they are moved on. We're so desperately short of social housing, we urgently need to find a way to ensure that only those that really need it are living in them.

Aye, that system doesn't work for a multitude of reasons 😅

A) Private rental is ££ more
B) They don't physically have enough housing stock to offer those who pay full rent to be able to downsize, vs those on benefits paying the bedroom tax.
C) The bedroom tax
D) Those in prior secure tenancies for years aren't going to move easily.
E) Most folk seek accommodation based on location to family/school/friends location wise.
F) Folk spend ££ on flooring/carpets in LA property as they aren't supplied. Are we just going to say 'we know you paid 2k to furnish your floors 3mth ago, but you now need to move out and we'll bin them because you got a payrise at work!
G) Work contracts massively fluctuate, so maybe someone can be classed as "affordable" to move this year, but not the next.

The real issue is - they sold off all the housing stock when Thatcher introduced the right to buy.

People started buying their Granny's house for 10k because she'd lived there 50yrs.

The councils sold all their housing stock to local authorities as they no longer wanted them, but the RTB was left in place.

They aren't using the funding from RTB to build new social housing.

  • I'm sure you'd love to see a system where everyone is vetted to see if they're still considered eligible for social housing every year. However, this would be

A) incredibly intrusive and time consuming for anyone residing in it.

B) Totally pointless in generating jobs to vet this.

C) Resulting in people being housing displaced a lot as things are rarely so simple.

D) Housing being a literal swap culture, and repair/removal/admin costs going through the roof!

E) A nomad housing culture where nobody could gain roots. Nor put their child into school, the find long term employment due to the fear of being shifted in 12mth

Itiswhatitis80 · 08/02/2025 06:41

Mizztikle · 07/02/2025 18:05

Your right to buy carries over to your new property, it's based on your renting years not how long you've been in the property.

Show quote history

You can’t buy a lot of HA properties,it’s written in the contract,we couldn’t buy ours

Zanatdy · 08/02/2025 06:45

I’d definitely buy.

Blue278 · 08/02/2025 06:55

Yes I would buy. Much depends on your relationship though so don’t be romantic about this. Both of you need to protect yourselves and factor in what would happen if you split and be comfortable with the finances.
Does he have children? Wills will be needed. Protect your deposits as a % of the purchase price. Share the mortgage payments.
Having your own home is priceless.

HarryVanderspeigle · 08/02/2025 07:03

I wouldn't leave a housing association to move in with him or rent elsewhere. I would move to buy, which is what you are planning. You will be building equity for your future. I would assume you are possibly paying the bedroom tax now too, if your kids have moved out.

One thing to make sure is that if you and your partner separate down the line, do you have enough to get yourself a one bed flat somewhere?

Mizztikle · 08/02/2025 10:50

Itiswhatitis80 · 08/02/2025 06:41

You can’t buy a lot of HA properties,it’s written in the contract,we couldn’t buy ours

Show quote history

She's not buying her HA property it's too big that's why I said she should do the swap and then buy, you can swap from a HA property to a council property.

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