To think that online school might be the answer

[razzbo]

I just want a wider opinion really as my friends think this is a stupid idea... but I'm considering taking my kids out of normal school and putting them in online school. I feel like I never see them - they're travelling to school, then at school all day, then there's after school clubs, then homework - my only interaction with them is just me nagging them to do homework or rushing them onto the next thing. They're constantly tired and stressed about school things and peers and mild bullying. I'm wondering whether online school might free up some time for family stuff and getting outdoors and better mental health in general. They're on board with the idea of it - I wouldn't be forcing them - and I work from home so I'd be there with them. Am just wondering whether anyone had any experience of it - pros and cons - that sort of thing?

No wonder we have a generation who can't handle the slightest difficulty. There's no resilience being built nor encouraged.

Definitely try it out. It’s so much easier for the kids to focus on learning when they are relaxed and comfortable. Also less stress in the house in general

And this
My ds had one which he made his way there and back on his own.

I don't think you can HE whilst WFH full time OP. Online schools look great but you'll also have to be taking them to groups and out on trips.

I don't think wanting children to be broadly happy in their day to day lives causes a lack of resilience.

OP if they are systemically unhappy, surely this is the particular school and not school per se? Can't you move them? And are you sure it's school and not the general effect of adolescence?

Perhaps you should reconsider the after school activities first. Taking out for gcses comes with risk unless you have done your research and understand how to deliver the curriculum and exam technique.

What about the teachers from older generations who can't cope with working in schools? Maybe a bit resilience and they can learn handle the awful behaviour that goes on in schools now?

I did. It was great and we have no regrets.

I have been considering this as my childrrn are struggling in school as both ND.
I also work from home.
I have concluded that unless I give up work then I would not be able to provide them with enough support to progress through the work. The planning of what they need to do and the additional activities needed to keep them socialised and active.
My work involves a lot of meetings and screen time for myself and I actually have started to crave human interaction lately. Being indoors all day and blurred boundaries between home and work life.
The interaction with different sorts of people and social situations does build resilience. Even mild bullying, whilst not ideal is something you have to deal with in the workplace too, especially in junior roles.
I think if I lived somewhere with a lot of green space and didnt have to work then I could provide a schedule that mixed online school with fulfilling social and physical education for my chikdren. But I think if you are working from home and hoping they would sit therr for hours on end being taught via a screen while you work, it is not an ideal choice.

Thank you so much to everyone who's taken the time to reply and give an opinion. We live in the middle of nowhere (hence the 45 minute bus ride) and there's not much choice of school. Plenty of green open space though. I'm convinced that the kids would still see their friends through the after school stuff that they do - and by generally being sociable - but of course it's impossible to know how the future would pan out. And what a big risk to take. Your comments have all been very useful - thank you. Am interested to know which online schools people use (if that's allowed on here and not breaking some mumsnet advertising rules or something).

There are so many things I'd do before I'd pull them out of normal life and sign up to online schooling.

As you WFH, I would genuinely consider a house move, even a major one, before I'd give up on my kids having a normal social life and school experience.

Travelling 1.5hrs to and from school does sound miserable. They aren't happy there and there's not a strong reason to stay. That doesn't mean you park the idea of school altogether.

If you move, they will learn they can make changes and life can be okay. They'll learn socialising, good and bad, and know you listen to them.

If you online school they'll learn to hide from the world if it makes them uncomfortable, become more insular and removed from the normal teen experience than they already are living remotely.

I grew up in a rural environment and I think it affected my social skills.

Do you work from home at the same time?

Year 7 and 9 - it's all about friendships, connections and learning about relationships and communication with others, navigating low level bullying and overcoming difficulties. Don't take them out or extra curricular activities, they might like the idea of a lie in and not going to school but the reality will be boring and they'll have to be very self motivated to pass any GCSEs.

I think at the very least price up what you are suggesting (King's Interhigh or Minerva will give you an idea of prices - the Academy 21 offering also seems quite good for KS3).

Include entry fees for GCSE. Do you drive? In a couple of years' time the older one would need taking to possibly quite distant exam centres for GCSE exams.

Include in the budget suitable tech such as a printer and a laptop each if they don't already have them. Stationery, toner, supplies for e.g. art, science.

Do you have reliable broadband?

Have you definitely got no other schools? If the bus is the issue, have you considered clubbing together with other parents for a taxi or minibus? That's not uncommon in rural Kent for instance.

there's no light left in their eyes any more 🙁
That is all the reason you need to explore alternatives very seriously. What better reason could there be? Seeking a life for your children in which they are happy and enthused is not tantamount to wrapping them in cotton wool, or isolating them, or destroying their resilience.

You're better off asking your question on the Home Ed board. Most people think they can imagine what home education looks like, and assume that school must be a good idea in most cases, otherwise why would school exist? There are many misconceptions about what home education is like.

There are certainly challenges to home educating in a situation such as yours. But it's well worth exploring whether those can be overcome, rather than discarding the idea out of hand. People in the home ed community will have tackled those challenges and overcome them, or perhaps will have seen friends and acquaintances tackle them unsuccessfully, so they will have some constructive ideas and reality checks for you.

You might as well seek swimming tips from the Bedouin as ask people who have never home educated for advice on whether you should take your kids out of school.

As a former teacher I'd say, do it. Our "education" system is a mess. It's about crowd control and teaching children to be good little worker ants for their masters.

I home edded all three of mine until age 16. The years age 13-16 were my least favourite - it’s pretty stressful trying to keep them on track through GCSE’s. It’s also really expensive to pay for the exams and courses/tutoring. Mine did ok and got the GCSE’s they needed to go onto A levels/6th college then Uni. Honestly, I think they might have done better GCSE wise at school with the pressure from teachers as well and it really was a lot for me to manage and I regretted it at times. That said, it was probably better for their mental health being at home but they had a fairly strong existing network of home ed friends.
We didn’t use one online school but we used individual home ed online tutoring/support for the subjects we wanted. Mostly it worked well but it still needed a lot of input from me. That’s mostly because mine weren’t that self motivated though. Most of the courses are structured so that if you had a motivated and capable child you wouldn’t need that much parental input - there are online lessons and marked homework, resources etc.
We used Southwest Science School, Absolute Maths, Humanatees, Learntec, Art and Design Room, Homemade Education and Pastel and Smudge (pre- GCSE). I’d recommend them all and they are reasonably priced.

Maybe also search Facebook for home ed groups/activities near you. It would be nice to do at least one a week - maybe a sporting group like climbing or something so they can get to know other home ed kids.

For those suggesting giving up after school clubs, surely those are the things kids actually enjoy. Give up trampolining for 45 extra minutes in your living room?

Most people find online learning way harder than face to face. Interaction is so much harder so it's more difficult to maintain engagement.

And my kids would have killed each other if they were at home together all day

I know a couple of families who home ed because their DC has an autism diagnosis and wasn't coping well in mainstream school, but all of them have one parent who doesn't work and can focus on the DC. I think they need quite a lot of support during the day and I'm not sure how well that would work if you are wfh.

My kids are in regular school but tbh I do like the idea of online school. I think it would have to suit the personality of the kid and the set up. If there's stress, anxiety and mild bullying online school could really help with all of that. Sometimes I feel kids are already in the rat race and it's be nicer to have longer not to be like that.
aI guess you could stay pretty social outside of online school too to keep friendships etc. my OH would never go for it but if he was a big advocate I would agree to it!

If you have stress affecting you daily and you don't get proper support and coaching through it, you don't magically get resilience - in fact you get less resilient because it affects stress hormones and immunity.

This seems strange. I’ve lived both rurally and in cities and I would say without question the rural environments have been far more sociable, with more interaction between neighbours etc and seeing people I know all the time while I’m out and about.