Should I give up waiting for council housing?

[Superkitty2025]

Hi, just wondering if there's anyone out there with experience of waiting on the housing register who can give me some hope (and maybe my head a wobble)?

I am living with my 4 year old twins in my mother's property while waiting for social housing. We are lucky enough not to be overcrowded as the property is large but I am really struggling with being my mum's carer while living in the same space. My mother has long-term mental health issues and self neglects. While our areas of the house are totally separated to protect the children I am struggling with the dependency of both my mum and preschoolers under the same roof. I am constantly having to keep on top of my mum's living space as she can't look after herself at all, and, if I don't, it will be left to get worse and worse. I don't have the time, energy or expertise to try and support her to help herself so end up doing everything - I've been fighting this losing battle since childhood and now just need the place to be hygienic. The building is also in a terrible state that she can't afford to fix and no services can help her.

I am the sounding board for her anxiety day and night and she has even woken me up in the night panicking, when my twins have already been up throughout the night. I'm not blaming her for the way that she is I am just at my wits end and can't cope with it all! On top of this I left an abusive ex last year who proceeded to stalk and harass me at my mother's house. Although a restraining order is now is place he still does things like make malicious reports about me to SS. The Council know all this and I'm on the highest band they will agree to put me on - Silver (understandable as I know there are probably people in alot worse positions than me).

Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to give some context as there's alot going on. My bids are coming up 13 at the lowest and between 27-37 most weeks. My question is, am I getting close or should I just give up and try renting? It feels like I'm just not getting anywhere with bidding and my position never seems to go down. I have managed to get a few employed hours that work around my mum's care and was thinking maybe I should look at renting? The thing is my children are doing really well and are comfortable here, they love their nan and are protected from all the issues by me running around behind the scenes. It's really only me that is struggling with this and on the other hand I feel it's in the children's best interests to sit it out for a secure tenancy (short- term suffering for a long-term gain).

What would you do? Please be kind, I know I've made a lot of mistakes that have led me to where I am now but I'm trying to do better and the best that I possibly can for my children. Also, I'm not going to just abandon my mum if I move out either, but with my own space I would be able to get some respite from the more challenging symptoms of her condition.

Thanks in advance for any replies.

Sounds like you are in good position regarding where you are placing. In the area I work in, applicants in the lowest band place around the 70 to 100 mark.

It sounds like you’re getting pretty close - I work in Housing for the local council (not frontline but I have a good understanding of the process) and actually ranking 13th could get you onto the short list or even to the top in my area because so many people drop out or determine the housing isn’t suitable for whatever reason. So I’d hang in there and keep bidding - don’t let any weeks pass when you don’t bid if you can help it. You don’t say have long you’ve been on the waiting list but if it’s just the time you’ve been with your mum then, gently, that is really not long at all in the current climate. Good luck.

Good luck Op, hope you get a place!

I wouldn't remove myself from the list if I were you. Thinking long term what happens when your Mother is no longer here, will you inherit her house or will you be homeless? If you're going to be homeless eventually you'd be better staying on the list rather than coming off and joining it again at the bottom.

Stick it out. Renting would be unpredictable, expensive and stressful. Get your council home and you know you're set for the rest of your life with your children.

Your kids are protected from their nans struggles and are very settled. Which is amazing; you're doing great.

Also try calling the housing associations with big new build estates in your area. If you see a new estate going up, Google who is building the social housing there. They will usually have a big sign outside the front of the development too.

A friend of mine did that and got a property because they had a backlog of homes they hadn't listed with the council and it was easier for paperwork to give one direct to her without sending it over to the council. The fact you're already on council list (she wasnt) will be an absolute bonus.