Part timer wants more free time

[charco]

Getting so sick of him really it getting a joke now. Come to pick up my son and tells me he wont be able to have the kids on his Thursday he has something else planned and ecspecs me to have them funny how he wont do my weekend for me when I ask but ecspecs me to do his evening ? Saying how I owe him a day because I said I would give him an evening off when he had them for me so I could take my new daughter to hospital a she hit her head he never had them the next day which was his day because he had to take the morning off to get them to school and work late so he never picked them up which means I have give him the owed time. He saying that don’t count as he would have them like normal but my fault he had to work late that’s why he didnt have them so I still owe him just think it’s stupid and always on his terms I told him he doesn’t come get them he can stop having them during the week at all I will take him to csa as well

Tbf he start at 6 so had to ask to start late to get them to school which I understand so he had to work late to make up the time he was late so he didnt have them the evening even though it’s his time because he would spend no time with them anyway would have only had time to bath and drive them home I kept them for him so that is making up the time but he thinks it dont

I had them the next day which is his day I could have said no come get them anyway but didnt so I have done what I said I would

OK thanks for the clarification. Fair enough then. If that time didn't help him make up the missed work time though, I can see why he might still feel you owe him the chance to make up that work time.

Is it such a massive chore to 'have' your own kids OP?

Read it all now. The most unwanted kids in existence.

My reading of it, which may well be wrong as it's not clearly written, is that on one of your days he had your children for you, and then overnight. The following day which was his he had to go to work late as he had to take them to schools, so you did the evening. To my mind the morning and evening of the second day balance out, so you do still indeed owe him one for the proceeding day he had the children for you. If this is right, then I think he might have a point about you never being prepared to return the favour. Flexibility should work both ways, not just to cover your issues.

However, to a point this is really irrelevant. What jumps out to me is how sad it is that you and he don't want to spend time with your poor children and how badly you seem to communicate with each other. If you are able to, why do you not WANT to have your children for an extra day? It's a privilege, not a chore.

@Codlingmoths in my current job I'm lucky enough to have flexi time but in my old job my shift started at 7 with no option to flex or start late and finish late. To cover a school run I would have needed a half days leave

I have them everyday I only get the time I’m give and he wants to take even more of that I didn’t ask to have kids and do it all on my own

"one week monday wednesday and the whole weekend to the next week just wednesday and thursday."

So in a fortnight he has them Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday. So 7 days out of 14, no? And you have them 7 days out of 14. That's not really you having them every day!

What a shame you don't like spending time with your children. I feel for them, I really do.

@mrsm43s that's how I read it, more or less 50/50 so surely both part timers? (Not that I ever would normally apply that to parents)