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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would it be so wrong to just tell this person that I don't want a close friendship because of a personality clash ?

27 replies

planesailin · 06/02/2025 16:24

One of my DS's school friend's mums - we started to get to know each other a few months ago and having a few play dates here and there ( our kids are in reception and of the opposite sex ).

After getting to know her a bit better, it has become very clear that I just can't be friends with her.

She's just too bossy, judgemental, arrogant and forceful for me. I can't be friends with people like her, I know, from experience.

I've been keeping a low profile and not engaging much but of course still totally polite.

I think she is the type who'll ask if something is wrong, as we don't see each other much anymore. Usually I just say stuff like ' I'm busy ' etc. I never tell people the reason for fear of causing upset etc. ( I'm not saying this happens a lot, but it's happened before that I got friendly with someone and then realised it's not a friendship for me).

Then the person has asked me what's wrong and usually I brush it off and continue to stop asking them to hang out and eventually they get it.

I'm considering just telling her that whilst I think she's a nice person, I think our personalities clash.

Has anyone ever done that ? It's just a bad idea isn't it ?

OP posts:
Eldermilleniallyogi · 06/02/2025 19:17

Happyhippos123 · 06/02/2025 17:59

Make up a white lie, eg your Mum/dad/sister hasn't been well so you're very busy looking after her and her house, so no time for a social life at the moment. She'll get bored and find someone else to hang out with.

I don't think you need to make something up OP and always think people are tempting fake by saying things like this. Just say you're busy. We're busy this month with various things or if it's a specific day just say we have plans.

LoafofSellotape · 06/02/2025 19:21

planesailin · 06/02/2025 16:40

It's such a bad idea isn't it. But if she pushes me I am afraid I'll actually get into it and explain exactly why. I hope she doesn't push me to tell her.

Well, more fool you if you do 🙄

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