A room of one’s own

[MayonnaiseClyde]

AIBU to think that it’s preferable for children to have their own room, even if it’s tiny, than to have a bigger room if it means they have to share?

Well yes its preferable, but not possible for a lot of families... I shared a room with my sister and was sleeping in bunk beds till I was 21!

It very much depends - a room for every child which wipes out the family budget in housing costs might be more harmful than two similar aged kids sharing a room with some wiggle room in finances. I shared a room with my sibling, can’t say it hurt me in any way.

Mine chose to share.

We had the bedrooms.

We’re building an extension and the rooms are up for debate but the floor space is finite. Those who shared, would you have preferred a really tiny room?

No, I liked sharing. My DD now has a tiny box room and hates not having enough space. If she had the option I know she’d rather share a bigger room than squeeze her stuff into a room that doesn’t have enough space for a desk/dresser.

I would have liked my own room, 5 years between my sister and I, and both very different! I was starting work when she started secondary school...

Depends on the kids I guess. Can you have a bigger room which can be divided so you have flexibility?

Can't you ask the kids themselves or are they not verbal or in existence yet?

How tiny?

It depends on the kids and how well they get on.
I shared until I was about 10 then got my own room. I think that makes sense, once the older one goes to secondary school they're likely to have homework and their room changes from playroom to study room.

Yes, but I think personal experience forms our opinions on it.

I grew up sharing - there was an 8 year age gap and it was awful. I was trying to do my GCSEs and had no privacy, space, my sister ran riot and it was awful.

So for me I was never going to have children sharing a room.

We moved to a three bedroom house before having a second for this reason.

I preferred sharing until age 11 then wanted my own space even if tiny.

Mine loved sharing and it is only now (upper primary) that they want their own space. We are rearranging to create a room each but if that wasn't possible would work out some kind of dividing solution. Friends with lots of DC built an extension and made a room for them all (shared previously and now teenagers) - quite small rooms but well planned layout and they seem very happy with it

Some kids choose to share

I think you have to consider everything in this situation: how tiny is tiny ( some tiny can still fit bed and desk easily but some bigger are not , depends on dimensions) , age gap, gender. what are children’s hobbies, personalities etc. I shared with my older sister (big age gap) at some point (not long) but she was at work during the day or out with mates then moved to uni so practically it was just nights. She didn’t need her own desk. If it was 3 years gap from age 10 to 18…. we wouldn’t survive ( or rather our parents wouldn’t 🤣🤣)

If the room is SO tiny, its not practical for a bed/wardrobe etc, I'd consider diving a larger room. There are some good ideas here to give each child some privacy and space- within a larger, single room.

www.hometalk.com/diy/bedroom/q-how-do-i-divide-one-bedroominto-two-44257045

Depends on the kids and their age gap - for me, I shared with my sister, 2 years apart, more or less up to the end of primary school age, then we moved into separate rooms. Loved sharing with her and I think it made us even closer. Once we started needing our own desks for more homework etc and getting a bit older, we had our own spaces which was great.

We did the same with our boys - barring the first few years when there were baby wakings etc, they shared up to ages of about 9/10 and 11/12. Bunk beds. They loved sharing as well, was lots of fun. Now they have their own spaces / desks / more privacy in their teens.

The rooms aren’t tiny though - we didn’t have to make that decision. But broadly it’s probably nicer to have a larger space to jointly play in as younger children, and smaller spaces for privacy as older children.

Yes totally, the age gap is going to make a lot of difference. I was 2 years apart from my sister, and our boys are the same. Bigger gaps often equal much more different needs / life stages / needs from the room.

I agree. I had to share my bedroom with 2 sisters when I was growing up and I hated having no privacy. My brother got a room to himself as the only boy! I would never have more dc if I couldn't afford a home with enough bedrooms for one each - would rather have stopped at one than make kids share.

My sister and I had our own rooms but we had regular sleepovers on the weekends where we’d share.

Yes. I did have a tiny room and was much happier with that than sharing

Disappointed. Thought this was going to be about Virginia Wolfe

I preferred sharing as a kid, wanted own room as a teen (not to be though).

My kids (opposite sex) chose to share until the eldest was around 10/11 and then opted for own room. Still share on holiday. One of them is away at uni and loves sharing on holiday.

It depends. In many cultures it would be totally bizarre to have a child sleeping at themselves from 6 months. I know of several siblings (children of my friends) who have preferred to share rooms as younger children. Different as teens i suspect.

I agree it depends on the children. I think ideally it's nice for kids to have their own space, especially when they get to teens. Having said that, my sister and I had our own rooms and we actually slept in my room together 90% of the time right up until we left home - we preferred being together!