Teacher shouting at ND child

[Brokenheartcake]

For behaviour she cannot help. Dd likes all of her teachers, apart from one. Dd has autism, and ADHD, school have measures in place to support her. For example they have a visual timetable, anxiety interventions, activities, quiet time in a relaxing area where other ND children go as well.

Due to dd having trouble with instructions, and inattentiveness, the method/s they have put into place is to engage dd, get down onto her level and explain the task in a clear concise way. For example, "class, can you write a short story about aliens?" To dd she would need to know how long is "short" eg how many lines to write, why it has to be about only aliens, can she include other things within the story. She is very literal, so short to dd could mean one line. She also needs a reason for doing something, to be told the point of the task.

While the other children commence the task, the teacher or TA is supposed to get down on her level, make sure she is engaged, and has fully understood the instruction/task. This one particular teacher isn't doing this. She will shout at dd for not following the instruction first time, and snatch stationary off her, if she isn't meant to use a blue pen for instance.

During the latest incident dd was sent to the toilets alone "to calm down" because she was crying. She is 7 years old. Dd was found in the toilet by a SENCO assistant hitting herself in the face, calling herself stupid alone in the toilets. The lovely assistant heard crying coming from the toilets, when she happened to br walking past with another child. She then took dd to the relaxing space where she is meant to go and supported her until hometime. Dd loves the other staff, and says they really help her. She likes them so much that she wrote them thank you cards at Christmas with small token gifts. She truly is a polite, caring little girl, who wears her heart on her sleeve. She is so fearful of making a mistake, and always tries to do the right thing to the best of her ability. The school, dh, and I are working to try support her with this.

My heart breaks for dd coming home so upset, and the thought of her sitting alone in the toilets is so sad.

Is this acceptable? I am emotionally invested, but the whole situation doesn't sit right with me.

Poor child. I have inattentive adhd and am haunted by the horror of my childhood where all the other pupils seemed to know something I didn't about simple tasks.

Take this teacher to task and tell her to understand that not all children are the same and some children can be damaged by such judgemental behaviour and small mindedness

Obviously a teacher shouting at a child and being aggressive isn't acceptable. I would contact the school and ask to speak to someone about your concerns.

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP, I feel sad when I think of your DD crying alone in the toilets too. I expected your post to be the “my child can’t help shouting out but gets told off” type but that’s not this situation at all. There are reasonable adjustments in place to allow your DD to learn and these aren’t being followed.

Could you speak to the school and arrange a chat about this specific incident? I’d start from the position of “DD struggles to regulate her emotions and sending her away to do this has led to her harming herself, how do we prevent this happening again?” and then get into the classroom issues from there. That way you’re creating space for the teacher to share their perspective.

What do you think the solution could be? Do you think this teacher fully understands your child’s needs? Could the school provide more TA support? Is there one class per year or is there an alternative one she could move into?

Oh goodness, that's upsetting to read. Your poor DD. She sounds quite similar to my DS who is 8. The only big meltdown he's had at school recently was when a teacher who was unfamiliar with him shouted at him, and he was inconsolable for the rest of the day.

It's not acceptable. In the instance I described above, the staff all apologised to me for what happened, and the SENCO took action to ensure that the member of staff had feedback on my DS's EHCP/IEP and strategies to deal with him.

Can you speak to the SENCO and ask about ensuring that all staff follow what's in the EHCP/IEP in terms of how to interact positively with your DD?

Thank you all. I have put the incident in writing, and sent an email to the school. I'm awaiting a phonecall today. The worst part is that dd is saying she doesn't feel safe in school, she will run upstairs and curl up in our bed after school.
I feel awful, because I am telling her she is safe, and then sending her in to be treated like that. Luckily this teacher isn't her main teacher, who is lovely. All of the other staff are great, hopefully this particular member of staff will be spoken to. I will clarify if all staff are made aware of dd's issues (in this teachers defense, she may not know). However the shouting and snatching to any child, ND, or NT is disgusting. They are 7 year old little kids. I told dd that teachers do need to raise their voices sometimes when they're dealing with a noisy class. She said that this wasn't the volume the other staff use, it was like shouting the house down (in her words).

This has brought tears to my eyes, op. Your little girl reminds me so much of my own (same age) and it's reminded me of how much she struggled with a teacher in Y1, to the point of complete shutdown and ultimately school avoidance. Sadly, we just didn't understand it at the time as dd was unable, at that point, to articulate it to us. As a SEN parent, you will be well used to advocating hard for your child. I'm pleased you have highlighted this awful situation to the school and hope they will take appropriate action/ learning from it. You are absolutely right to challenge it, because an experience like that can literally break a neurodivergent child of that age.

Your poor DD, her teachers sound absolutely disgraceful even if she didnt have special needs. No little kid should have to go to school and feel scared of their teachers like that

That’s awful, at 7 too. she’s only little and they need to build relationships with their teachers and that one teacher can do so much damage by one interaction. My son has autism and adhd and would’ve likely left the building if sent out of the class, he was a runner. I hope you get an apology and good resolution to your complaint and this teacher is spoken to about it. I understand our children aren’t always the easiest to work with but they are still people and they should be entitled to respectful interactions and communication. I hope your daughter is ok op