Son cut his hair in school

[Shmee1988]

Hi everyone. I'm just looking to gage some opinion on this one. My DS is 5 and in year 1. Yesterday when my DP collected him from school he had a HUGE chunk of hair missing, right at the front of his head. My DP asked the teacher what had happened and she said she didn't know as she hadn't even noticed the (astonishingly obvious) massive chunk of his hair missing. When asked, my DS said that him and his friend had both cut there hair with scissors while doing an arts and crafts lesson. Another child had also cut up a tennis ball behind the sink.... I was a bit upset that this was able to happen and annoyed at the lack of supervision but no harm done (this time).... so my attitude has been very much 'kids will be kids, it'll grow back' no need to make a fuss. However, upon relaying this funny anecdote to others, it seems that some people feel I'm not taking it seriously enough. I did speak to the teacher and she said she was distracted by another group of kids and I understand that she cannot have eyes in the back of her head, all kids need supervising and my DS is old enough to know it was a stupid thing to do. Apparently some others are of the opinion that I need to be raising my concerns with the head and be more concerned about the level of supervision. Dont get me wrong, I am concerned and I've made this known but it can't be undone and I don't see what good will come of making an already stressed out teacher feel bad about it. Equally, it could of been so much worse and someone could of got hurt. Am I being too relaxed?

YANBU - give the teacher a break, she's likely stressed enough as it is.

YABU- take it more seriously and complain about the lack of supervision of 5 year olds with scissors.

I remember the rather rat-like boy that cut off a classmate's long pigtail. The mother of the girl sent his parents the bill for the hairdresser cutting the remains into a short style. And they were far older than five. I think we were about 9 or so. That was about 50 years ago too. I don't think anybody attempted to blame the teacher

The teacher can't supervise them more. There is no way for her to see every child in the class for every second of the day. Unless your DC and the others who did this have a lot of form for behaving inappropriately, if you complain the only way they can mitigate this specific risk is to not let them have scissors, which will mean they have less opportunity to develop skills.

I assume the scissors are blunt ended. They can cut paper (and hair!) and probably clothing, but they aren't particularly risky in terms of children hurting themselves. At most I would ask the teacher if they could emphasise that the scissors must only be used to cut paper (or what ever they are supposed to be cutting!). Mainly I would have a stern word with DC about not using scissors on things they aren't supposed to be using them on.

Then they shouldn't give them anything. Kids can and do cause damage with water, sand, pens, crayons, wooden blocks, dressing up clothes, etc., even books while the teacher's back is turned or she is too far away from a determined child to physically stop them.

Sit the kids down in an empty room, without shoes and talk at them. Then nothing inappropriate could possibly happen. Kids won't develop properly or learn much but at least they won't have had the opportunity to do anything they shouldn't unnoticed.

Your son chose to cut his own hair. Address that as your main point.

I was a teacher and this sort of thing happens all the time. Think how quick the action is of cutting hair is. Then when faced with 30 children it’s easy not to notice. I had a parent complain of a bumped head once. Child didn’t say anything and when I asked she showed me and it was under his hairline, and she only noticed when she washed his hair. Apparently I should’ve had the ability to see things that even she couldn’t until he was in the bath 🤦🏻‍♀️ This is not fully relevant but just an example of how easy it is to miss things.

With the noticeable cut, it’s a big detail to parents, but for a teacher it isn’t necessarily. Another example was at the start of my career I had a girl with the most gorgeous hair. She fancied herself as a stylist and took an inch off. I didn’t notice, but my god the dad did, and didn’t I know about it 🤦🏻‍♀️ Although she told her dad it was a boy in a different class who was absent that day. The dad wanted his parents brought in 🤦🏻‍♀️

My son cut his hair whilst in my care. His fringe was too long and it was during the first lockdown 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was gutted then I tried to right it by trimming his hair, that didn’t go well so I got clippers and crickey , what a mess!! 🤣

sometimes people overreact, it sounds like you haven’t and you’ve done the right thing by having a conversation then being willing to move on.

Oh wow!!! This is a winner 😆

I remember the game where you spread your fingers on a table and you had to bang a compass down between fingers really fast. I was showing of to a crush of mine after he did an impressive job and I only did it once 😆

@mrsnjw you have actual Pritt sticks??? Not cheap value glue sticks? And I'm down to my last few of those.... Where are you working? Eton? 😂

I teach year 1’sand the start of every year we extensively discuss being safe with scissors. Before we use scissors each time we discuss being safe with scissors….. every year someone cuts their own hair ….. every year . I don’t even react anymore

It’s impossible for a teacher to closely supervise 30 kids, and that arrangement rests on a shared social construct that authority figures are to be heeded and obeyed and where failure to comply/obey equals naughtiness in children and lawbreaking in adults with a scale of sanctions appropriate to age.

It’s clear that you don’t subscribe to that view and that’s fair enough. There’s been a huge paradigm shift across the last couple of generations but we’re still leaving 30 dc in the care of a single adult.

I think your initial response is fair enough. You’re not blaming the child, or the teacher. It sounds like your friend is operating in a different paradigm, but if blame is being assigned, then it isn't just the teacher who is at fault - it’s also the child (for not listening) and the parent (for not instilling respect for authority). Your friend is BU

There's at least 1 y6 kid that does this every year. Tbh , it happens in nearly every year group. Sometimes at home, sometimes at school. Should children never be allowed access to scissors? Or glue, or rulers, or compasses , or hard backed books , or whiteboard pens/felt tips/paints etc.? Basically anything really that can be damaged or cause damage to themselves or their clothes?

I haven't read the full thread so sorry if this has already been said. I think you should clarify if there was a TA in the class. If not, I would take it to the head. You will sound like 'that parent' but it might help the case for the class getting a TA.
This is from a Y1 teacher and because of budget, we are losing our TAs in the afternoons. Things like this (or worse) happen when 1 adult is supervising 30 five year olds.

My son cut his hair in Y1. The teacher was so cross, I was a bit baffled by it tbh - of course he shouldn't have and I did tell him off for cutting something other than what he's been told to cut, but it's hardly the end of the world. I was actually surprised he'd never done it at home, he's had access to safety scissors since he was about 3.

Anyway. At our school the blame was very much on my son being naughty, not the teacher at all. Which is correct, although a bit over the top.

Safety scissors have to be capable of cutting thin card, wool, thread etc as well as paper. Cutting hair doesn't require especially sharp scissors.

When I was still teaching, we used to trade in pritt sticks 😂

My daughter did this at home at that age and I was cross with her for being so silly! They are old enough to know better! Glad you're understanding not the teachers fault, they can't be expected to watch 30 children with scissors. Hopefully your son will realise what a silly thing he did and not do it again.

Add to this the increasing number of children who need help with toileting. When I taught year 1, I had no TA in the afternoons, a child with a developmental age of 18 months and at least 5 other children with SEND and a couple who needed help in the toilet. Luckily I had supportive parents but I still couldn't sustain that level of stress and burned out.
In OP's case it's just one of those things that most children do at some stage.

This is entirely common nationally and probabaly internationally in early years settings.

5yo can use scissors safely. However they are 5. They are impulsive and experimental.

Often the 2 combined lead to some interesting haircuts or unique upholstery.

Ignore the others, your response were perfectly rational and sensible.

It's your ds who needs to be told how to behave sensibly. The teacher has 1 pairs of eyes!

My DD did it at school too, though a little older.

I didn't notice for a few days I think so I'm not surprised the teacher didn't. She or a friend (never cleared that bit up) cut a snip almost to her scalp right on top of her head.
DD had dark hair so you couldn't notice it too much... Until it grew a bit and stood straight up... High pony tails for a while after that!

She also gave herself a small fringe that summer. Then grew out of the fascination.

You sound sensible OP. Ignore your friend.

I was that teacher! First time giving a new class safety scissors, had explained the safety rules, and literally the minute this little boy got them in his hand he snipped the front of his hair off!! I couldn’t have prevented it. It was like he couldn’t help himself 🙈 I was so nervous about telling his parents but they were fine. So yeah I’d say give the teacher a break, she’s probably stressed out about it anyway.

This has made me laugh, it's such a rite of passage at that age! I cut myself a dreadful, really short fringe when about 4 years old. Apparently I hid under my bed as I didn't like the result! And my reception aged child stopped one of his pals from trimming someone's eyelashes 😂😂I know it's not safe, but honestly, the poor teachers....

We still do! Towards the end of summer term I traded three big rolls of sellotape for half a dozen glue sticks, I got the sellotape by trading the last four red exercise books for it, later that week I traded two blue exercise books for a box of pencils and an unopened pack of blu-tac for a roll of backing paper.

OP, at least he cut his own hair and not someone else's. Silver linings and all that.

Shoreditch?

I was the one with a stash no one knew about. Half a box left in July. Then September I got another box. Taught reception at the time too. When I left I dug them out of the cupboard and said to the new teacher to not tell anyone where they were hidden 😆 Don’t get me wrong if anyone asked I always gave a glue stick (it’s about the children at the end of the day), but I always went to get them without being watched. Sounds so weird, but particularly in reception people from further up the school would assume endless resources so help themselves after I’d gone home. But not to glue stick though 🤭

Mine did cut each other's hair once while I was cooking dinner