to want the family needs to be considered when decisions are made about my son?

[PeachyHas4BoysAndLovesIt]

school wants to retry potty training sn ds3 (almost 5)

I said great but could we wait until after half term and gave my reasons

they said fine. in the eantime we chise (ds and I ) pants and potty, so clearly committed.

yesterday they callewd his lead professional, and then announced I have to send him in pants as it starts today

my reasons for delay (only for 3 weeks) are:

ds3 reacting to 4 week old ds4 atm, not so co-operative

ds4 having quite arked growth issues (ie there has been none) and needing hourly feeds so that means i would struggke with dashing to loo every 5 minutes

washing so behind my laundry basket already collapsed!

a long list of appts with audiology / cardiac paeds / etc to negotiate in next few weeks, one may necessitate a stay in hospital

with the baby growthg issue / other 3 I literally dont have a seconnd atm- baby screeches if put down and we're to avoid distressing him until after paed trip gives his heart the all clear

aibu? or awkward?

I think it's outrageous that school are trying to force ds into this against your wishes. How dare they? Arrogant bastards.

potty training is never going to be successful in that environment! Aren't the 'guidelines' not to train within 3 months of a major event??? Birth of a sibling is one of those!!!

Plus absolutely outrageous to 'saddle' you with the problem with a 4 week old anyway....

I would refuse....

...ps just trying to train my DS now - I have only the one child and it is taking my full attention!

YANBU. Sorry to hear you are having a worrying time with DS4.

That's crap Peachy.

You are not being awkward at all and if school are committed to this being successful then they should wait.

Sorry to hear about ds4 too. How long have you got to wait for cardio?

Sounds deeply unreasonable to me. Do you need to have a meeting with them and explain AGAIN your reasons for delaying, and really spell it out for them? Bring the baby and feed at the meeting so they can see how difficult it would be for you!

Good Luck.

erm, no! of course YANBU

i have put off properly potty training my NT DD as i have had a hellish few weeks, although nothing compared to yours !

you are not just saying you cannot be arsed... bearing in mind once they are in pants and you go out, they play the i neeed a wee every 3 minutes so i can play in a new toilet game....

your child. your decision, end of.

YANBU

how long until cardio?

did i forget to mention also have my uni finals this month (but baby brain means I dont know when [blsuh])- dissertation in last week though! Sadly, it was done last weeks so not exactly ground breaking...

Cardiac appt is supposed to be aged 6 weeks, so next available is August but HV trying to get a more urgent one as apparently poor weight gain and wheezing combined with heart murmur are warning signs? He seems to have lots of very minor issues so far- no hearing in one ear (both him and ds2 due audiology), the dreaded milk intolerance as well so BF has to be a priorrity

The school think that it's a good time to potty train when you have a 4 week old baby in the family??? That's madness! YANBU.

If he's not gaining Peachy I would push for something sooner

Is that him on your profile Peachy? He's sooo sweet

Is that him on your profile Peachy? He's sooo sweet

Doubly so lol!

Cheeky sods! Tell them to f* off.

thanks sagar, we were thinking of just ging back to see the scbu unit (he was only in for 5 hours but they said we could if worred) next week if no gain (was born 8lb 3oz, has been 8lb for 3 weeks)- hopefully nothing, brothers had weight issues too, as did dh. but its not something to mess with!

OOh that's not on at all is it - one of the most important conditions to start training is when the whole family is ready.

School is being very unreasonable.

Sounds like a plan Peachy. I'm sure they could do an Echo on the unit.

In the meantime tell school to 'jog on' as dd would say.

Your son - surely up to you when is the right time to potty train, SN or not?

I'd be inclined to tell them (politely but firmly) "No!".

I agree that YANBU and they have no right to tell you what to do in your own home. But if they would like to try and potty train just during the time they have him, why not let them give it a go? You can tell them firmly that you have no intention of carrying it on outside school time (just yet) and there is absolutely nothing they can do about it. I potty trained my dd2 in fits & starts (as it were), putting her in a nappy or pull-ups when we went out. You don't have to go all out for it at once.

yanbu.

Why on earth would a school think they had the right to arrogate to themselves a decision like this, particularly in view of what you have told them?

Flabergasting. Of course YANBU.

Fail to respond to the missive. YOU are his mum, what you say goes. Good luck with everything

yanbu - your parenting decisions should be respected.