To want to kick out dinner guests by midnight?

[harpymum]

We invited very good friends over for a meal last weekend - 7pm start for a barbecue.

At 1am they were still here - although the wife was asleep on the sofa, her husband still chatting or drinking coffee.

I was on my knees with fatigue - I knew we had a busy day planned with dc the next day...and I find it impossible to sleep in later than 7am, no matter how late I go to bed.

Sure enough, I was knackered the next day.

My dad used to just go to bed in such circumstances; another couple who had an open fire used to put the guard in front of the fire.

Aibu to expect people to leave earlier even when they're our guests? And how best to hint that they should push off? (we don't have an open fire, although putting the dog to bed might be an option).

I would either warn them at the begining like tmmj says or, ask them to leave when I'm ready for bed. It doesn't have to be rude - you can do it in a jokey way "Sorry - going to have to throw you out now and get my beauy sleep" or whatever. The fact that his wife was alseep should have bee a good enough hint!

We never have a free day the next day! Dc are at the stage where they have loads of activities they need running around to.

I also resent having to write off a whole day through tiredness...I get very grumpy.

Agree with Tommy and Janitor set down an 'closing time' at the begining of the evening.

Sympathise with the tiredness thing when you have to entertain little ones the next day.

I would just say "can I call you a taxi as I need to go up shortly, busy day tomorrow"
or if they live next door, just "well i think I must go to bed really, thank you so much for coming"

is this dreadfully rude? probably
I need tons of sleep though and if you've entertained people for 5 hours or so I think it is fine to say that's your lot

You could simply have said to the dh "I think you need to get your wife home to bed, don't you???" Or "Goodness, is that the time! I hadn't realised the time had passed so fast." Either the dh or your dh should take the hint.

Don't hint,just be honest. Nothing rude about wanting to go to bed at midnight!

Agree with Franny and Zooey's suggestion. Not sure about setting out times early in the evening - that sounds a little bit offensive, as if you are expecting them to outstay their welcome.

I'd go with 'goodness, is that the time! We've got to be up early tomorrow to take the dses to X, do you mind if I call you a cab'... I wouldn't say anything at the start of the evening, that does sound a bit rude.

Sympathise, thought I'd never get rid of our guests on Sat. Lovely people but I was knackered.

Go to sleep ypurself. At the table.
That's what my dh does.
We had a couple here last w/end. By midnight dh and her were both asleep at the table,heads nodding (twas like an old folk's home) The other dh and I stayed up unitl 3:30 am howver, putting the world to rights.

I tell people I need to get some sleep now, but they are welcome to stay on the sofa bed if they can't face the trip home.

Thanks everyone - this particular couple live just around the corner, so calling a cab not an option.

Next time I'll be prepared...perhaps have codeword with dh so we agree when kicking-out time is...the friends in question probably wouldn't be offended if I was upfront about it - especially as the wife was snoring!