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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler fanatical about food/snacks

27 replies

rainingitspouring2 · 05/02/2025 19:46

3 year ds has a lot of tantrums and they are about one thing and one thing only. Food. From dusk to dawn. He will kick off, scream and smash everything in sight to get a snack or the food he wants. We offer Weetabix or porridge for breakfast, a sandwich yoghurt and fruit or something equivalent for lunch and an evening meal from scratch with meat, veg, carbs etc most nights.
If he ever gets a 'snack', rice cakes, or fruit roll, anything sweet he will scream blue murder until he gets more. His appetite for it is insatiable. Whether we offer or don't he will harrang and cry if he spots something. Makes going to the shop or out in public very difficult. To the point we have to go home and the day is spoilt if he doesn't get a snack he wants. It makes no difference even if we do give him one as a treat as he will demand another and another.
I hate being in the kitchen with him as it always incurs upset. No matter what stance I take.
Is this normal? I feel like food is ruining our life with him.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 05/02/2025 19:54

Any other concerns about him? Is he meeting all his milestones?

Is this a recent development?

Have you raised it with anyone? HV or GP?

Dreamerinme · 05/02/2025 19:56

Are you sure that his portion sizes are definitely correct for his age? Is he drinking enough water? Just to rule out genuine hunger and thirst.

How is his speech? Can he say if he’s hungry?

If he attends nursery how does he behave around food and mealtimes?

Like most tantrums you will probably need to ride out this phase - be consistent in your approach and don’t give in. If it persists check with your GP or HV.

ChangeyerNameyer · 05/02/2025 19:59

Does he eat the regular food and want snacks in addition, or is he asking g for snack foods instead of meals?

Original poster
rainingitspouring2 · 05/02/2025 20:06

ChangeyerNameyer · 05/02/2025 19:59

Does he eat the regular food and want snacks in addition, or is he asking g for snack foods instead of meals?

Both

OP posts:
Original poster
rainingitspouring2 · 05/02/2025 20:07

Crunchymum · 05/02/2025 19:54

Any other concerns about him? Is he meeting all his milestones?

Is this a recent development?

Have you raised it with anyone? HV or GP?

Edited

Meeting milestones. It's been going on a while but he has always been hot headed compared to my eldest

OP posts:
Bearbookagainandagain · 05/02/2025 20:08

Is he eating the savoury food and veggies too? Because then at least it's balanced.

My now 3 yo went through a phase like this but much younger, when he was around 2. Particularly for cakes and chocolate! He had only tasted those couple of times.... We had screaming sessions in cafés and supermarkets because as soon as he saw them, he would have a tantrum for some (never got any). And if we had the bad idea to give something sweet, he just wouldn't let go!

We just really limited any sweets for a while, particularly outside the house. For instance we had started giving him biscuits occasionally for snacks and reverted back to rice cakes.

Then after 2-3 months, we got some nice chocolates for Easter, and gave him 1 maybe once or twice a week as part of his snack (always at home, sitting at the table, so quite 'formal'). He learned control through that, and that we wouldn't give in when he asked for more. We haven't had much issues since.

Saz12 · 05/02/2025 20:11

Is he having 3 meals and no snacks at all?
If so I would be tempted to introduce a midmorning banana-and-milk type snack, and something similar mid afternoon.
If he wants something to eat, then offer one of: fruit or veg sticks or cheese or whatever suits you, with milk or water. Maybe he's about to have a growth spurt.
It might just be that Christmas included lots of lovely treats that he's now missing (I know how he feels), or just that 3 year olds have tantrums, so 🤷.

TuesdayRubies · 05/02/2025 20:12

I would be giving him protein based snacks mid morning and mid afternoon, followed by some fruit. He may just have a bigger appetite than your oldest. I'd not buy any UPF snacks as they just want more once they have one.

TuesdayRubies · 05/02/2025 20:12

Oh hang on, if you're just giving him 3 meals and no snacks at all, that isn't enough for a lot of kids, they have small tummies and need snacks.

Original poster
rainingitspouring2 · 05/02/2025 20:16

TuesdayRubies · 05/02/2025 20:12

Oh hang on, if you're just giving him 3 meals and no snacks at all, that isn't enough for a lot of kids, they have small tummies and need snacks.

He definitely has snacks too that's the problem he wants the yummy sweet stuff as preference but even when we give him fruit, veggie straws, cheese sticks or crisp/cracker type stuff he will just ask for more and more and more and more and unleash fury. He's not happy until everything is gone. It's too much

OP posts:
HundredPercentUnsure · 05/02/2025 20:20

TuesdayRubies · 05/02/2025 20:12

I would be giving him protein based snacks mid morning and mid afternoon, followed by some fruit. He may just have a bigger appetite than your oldest. I'd not buy any UPF snacks as they just want more once they have one.

Agree with this.

Sounds like he's hungry and his tantrum is his way of expressing that to you.
A mid morning snack and an afternoon snack.

Protein based would be good, eg
Boiled egg and tomatoes
Apple or banana slices with peanut butter.
Crackers, ham/cheese and grapes.
Greek yoghurt with a sprinkle of granola.
Chicken slices with cucumber
Veg sticks and hummus

That sort of thing!

Trainr · 05/02/2025 20:34

Bananas? Ours is insatiable, and when they say they’re still hungry we offer bananas so still sweet but also have been proven to aid sleep.

He might not be getting enough food, I think our 3yr ild eats more than me at the moment! Not overweight at all (although I am a little bit!).

Sugargliderwombat · 05/02/2025 20:38

Does he ever get treats like chocolate buttons, cakes, juice etc? Maybe he's getting lower sugar when he has the healthier stuff? So basically, could you cut out ever having those unhealthy ones for a good long stint until he gets used to managing on his healthier diet?

Keepitrealnomists · 05/02/2025 20:39

My 8 year old snacks all the time and still eats 3 meals a day, he's slim build but has a big appetite. My toddler would prefer to snack then eat meals, so I have to limit the snacks to fruit, yoghurt, ect. My toddler always wants chocolate, doenst mean she gets it.

Original poster
rainingitspouring2 · 05/02/2025 20:39

Trainr · 05/02/2025 20:34

Bananas? Ours is insatiable, and when they say they’re still hungry we offer bananas so still sweet but also have been proven to aid sleep.

He might not be getting enough food, I think our 3yr ild eats more than me at the moment! Not overweight at all (although I am a little bit!).

Yeah I offer banana he eats it but then on the hunt immediately again for something more 'interesting' if you know what I mean. It's gets me down because I feel like it's a constant battle to lure him away from the sweet stuff and he has it once he knows exactly where it is located and hunts for more. I definitely offer all the 'right' stuff to try and satisfy his hunger. I just wonder if this is a phase when it'll end...

OP posts:
MrsEG · 05/02/2025 20:41

Are his meal portion sizes big enough OP? He may need filling up a bit more. Maybe try adding a bit extra, especially at breakfast and lunch.

coxesorangepippin · 05/02/2025 20:43

Diabetic??

Andwhomightyoube · 05/02/2025 20:51

@rainingitspouring2 Could you remove all of the nice snacks that he likes from the house and make sure he can see that they are no longer there? It might make him stop looking for something better after dutifully eating a banana.

Obviously that means that if you want a secret chocolate supply for yourself you'll have to hide it well. Mines been known to be in an empty cereal box!

Urgenthelplease · 05/02/2025 20:57

My almost 2 yo is the same. Her sister likes snacks but nothing like this. She eats what she has and then says more more. She's insatiable. Our problem is she'll also reject actual food and demand milk. It's personality I think and they're fine at kindy.

LovelyDaaling · 05/02/2025 20:57

It doesn't take long to wolf down a banana so he has no time to feel full from it. What about serving a small pot of custard with it or give him some stodge like rice pudding. If he's not overweight, you can afford to let him have a little more food.

Make chocolate crispies with broken up shredded wheat, some raisins and melted chocolate. They are filling. Our kids used to enjoy a bowl of cereal as a snack too, not just for breakfast.

Trainr · 05/02/2025 21:06

If you don’t want to get rid of the treat, say you have the pasta (for example) and the treat. Give it at the same time, he’s going to eat the treat whenever so it doesn’t matter if he eats it first. Ensure the main meal is substantial and say that’s all the food we have, let me know when you’ve had enough. That’s what we did with ours. They have a bit of the treat, then the main meal, then they save the rest of the treat to have after they’re full of the main, then if they’re hungry they go back and finish it off. They’ve done this all by themselves. I don’t watch over them or fuss, just chat in the background and let them get on with it. It took a while for me to realise this as they loved anything sweet (unsurprisingly as the first milk they have is super sweet!).

Sugargliderwombat · 05/02/2025 21:07

I think you need to get rid of the treats for a bit.

Original poster
rainingitspouring2 · 05/02/2025 21:39

coxesorangepippin · 05/02/2025 20:43

Diabetic??

Can children this young have diabetes? What other symptoms would be have?

OP posts:
Feelinadequate23 · 05/02/2025 21:44

No advice OP but our 2.5 year old is the same. It’s exhausting and embarrassing. solidarity!

Sammysquiz · 05/02/2025 22:07

You need to speak to your GP. If he’s unable to feel satiated after food this is called hyperphagia, and it can be a symptom of something more serious (including diabetes as mentioned by a previous poster). Hard as he’s too young to accurately articulate his hunger levels, as it may just be behavioural, i.e. he’s not actually hungry but just enjoys eating, but worth getting it checked out.