To go through CMS when ex was 3 days late paying

[Evecob]

Hi all, just want a bit of perspective.

Bit of backstory, my ex and I were together 13 years, decided to separate last september, my reasons were due to emotional, psychological and rarely physical abuse which was on and off the whole relationship. He was removed from the family home in October for assault and dangerous driving while our children were in the car. He has bail conditions not to contact me or go to the house. He now lives with his dad. This is ongoing as he pled not guilty so it is going to trial..

Our 2 children 6 and 4 live in the family home with me full time. He has not seen the kids since October. I requested proof of therapy to show commitment to change in behaviour as a boundary to seeing them but he has refused. I spoke to a contact centre to arrange visits that way, he also refused this.

He works full time and on an average/good salary. We agreed via his father by text messages for him to pay £90 less than what CMS suggested 1st of each month. This was a struggle but he agreed..

The first 3 months he paid on the 1st as agreed.. some days i noticed it was late, once i had to remind him to pay. I had to send reminders regarding other fees he kept "forgetting" so each month i find myself worrying if he will pay.

The past few weeks there have been issues. He blocked access to joint emails, and the account for my phone and internet were in his name (but I pay for), he locked me out and cancelled my phone contract. (This was great as now i have my own account and phone but he still has broadband in his name and refuses to move to my name). Anyway, this month he didnt pay CMS on the 1st as usual. I checked next day and waited until the 3rd in the morning. Still nothing. So decided to put in CMS claim.

On the 4th i saw the payment was in at last...but i already put in the claim.

I feel like it shouldnt be on me to remind him/his dad to pay it. At best he is forgetting, at worst he is using this as a tool to control me and i dont want this. However sticking to this and we go through CMS i know he will be mad and have to pay more now.

AiBU to change my mind without communicating and going via CMS?

You won't be £90 better off, they take a percentage of your payment if it has to go through them. So he pays a bit more but you also receive a bit less.

I don't think the CMS should be seen as a threat or negative thing. It's just a mechanism to depersonalise what can be a contentious issue. I asked my ex if he would rather I open a CMS claim or he provide me with his payslips once a year. It's not unreasonable to want to know a child's parent is providing according to the law.

This is wrong unless he refuses to pay and they have to reach in and take it, and even then it gets charged to him, not the claimant. Most people just grumpily comply.

It's not wrong, they deduct a percentage from both parties. I know from experience & a year long battle.

Olé you are in the right.

Totally fine if it happened once and you haven't received payment and text in the day saying payment hasn't come though and his dad responded with 'oh god apologies totally forgot and he will transfer it over to you now, I will make sure' then that's ok as a one off but late all the time without an explanation from him then it's unacceptable.

What the PP said was totally correct, you're wrong. They deduct if you have to go through Collect and Pay, but it's only 4 percent. No deduction if you use Direct Pay. Which is exactly what the PP said.

Show your broadband provider that he no longer lives there ask for packaging to return the equipment

Or

Three do broadband via a sim card it's not technically a second line there is no line it's like mobile data just don't pay for his broadband

https://www.three.co.uk/broadband/home-broadband

Here