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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend pulled out of gig and has asked to sell ticket to someone I barely know

37 replies

Sundaycoffee · 05/02/2025 16:55

I had a concert booked with a friend in the middle of March and she has had to pull out to attend a milestone family birthday party that has been arranged since we booked.
She has told me she wants to sell the ticket to a friend. This particular friend I have only met twice before in the past couple of years and is nice enough but not someone I would choose to spend the evening with and had I known this I wouldn't have spent £££ on a ticket/ evening to sit with someone I barely know.
She wants full price for the ticket and there are no takers from anyone my side, unless it was at a discounted rate. She's taken the stance that she should be allowed to do what she wants with the ticket she bought. AIBU to feel a bit put out?

OP posts:
Catza · 05/02/2025 16:58

You are there to see a concert. You will be sitting next to many strangers. There is no need to hang out with this friend at all.
Many years ago my boss organised an outing with a few work people to the theatre. All of them cancelled the last minute and it ended up being me and a woman who was an absolute bully at work. No biggy. We traveled there separately and didn't interact at all for the duration of the performance.

Shoxfordian · 05/02/2025 16:58

It's her ticket so it's fair enough she wants the full amount for it really

Moonnstars · 05/02/2025 16:59

Yes it's ok to feel put out by it but really if your friend bought and paid for her own ticket there isn't anything you can do. She can find someone willing to pay full price whereas you say you can't, so unless you perhaps pay the extra towards covering her ticket so that a friend of yours can come then I think it's just bad luck.

CastleCrasher · 05/02/2025 16:59

It's unfortunate, but it's her ticket to do with a she pleases- unless you want to subsidise a discount so someone of your choosing will buy it, you're going to have to accept it i think!

toomuchfaff · 05/02/2025 16:59

No YANBU to feel put out. I'd not be organising anything with her again.

I think I'd be trying to offload my ticket too, or if you tried to have a meet up with the other person first to see if you could "grow" that friendship before the night?

YoungGunsHavingSomeFunCrazyLadiesKeepEmOnTheRun · 05/02/2025 17:00

Yanbu to feel upset, but she is nbu either.

If you don't want to go can you sell your ticket?

Or just use it and go alone?

OliveThe0therReindeer · 05/02/2025 17:01

Legally she’s right - she can what she wants. But it’s a poor way to treat a friend, I wouldn’t arrange something like this with her again.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 05/02/2025 17:03

@Sundaycoffee could you offer to buy her ticket off her? That way you get to see the gig and take someone you know/like.

Magnastorm · 05/02/2025 17:06

These things happen and it really is her ticket to do with what she wants. Sometimes with the best will in the world, plans change.

Just go and make the most of it - it's a gig, so when the band are on you are not going to be chatting to this person anyway so really, does it matter? At worst you'll need to make small talk for a short while before the band comes on/ in any breaks or whatever.

Lilacpurplegal · 05/02/2025 17:08

It might be a good opportunity to make a new friend?

I understand you feel put out, but if you have tried to find someone to take the ticket at the price your friend wants but she’s found someone who will pay the full price - it’s a no brainer for your friend really.

These things happen and it’s really frustrating, but yabu

Lilacpurplegal · 05/02/2025 17:10

I’d try and make the best out of a bad situation and ask for her friends number to chat about gig beforehand and be a bit more comfortable with her on the day.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 05/02/2025 17:10

Go to the concert -enjoy it.
Perhaps you will become best-buddies with the stand-in companion who shares your taste in music... and drop your flaky-friend.

latetothefisting · 05/02/2025 17:18

definitely not BU

If you only wanted to see the gig then presumably you would have just bought your own ticket and not bothered to arrange it with her. Part of the enjoyment of the evening and reason for buying the ticket for you was doing something with a friend. Perhaps if she hadn't agreed you weren't that fussed about going and wouldn't have bought a ticket at all, in the same way that you might happily go to a bar for a night out with friends, but might not just randomly go there on your own for no reason.

It's understandable she wants her money back but she could be a bit more apologetic, and, given she's the one dropping out, I would have thought offering it at a discount so she still gets some money but you go with someone you know would be the fairest way of doing it. What would the difference be between the full amount and the amount someone you know would be willing to pay - ten/twenty quid? If she's happy to piss off a friend for that, she doesn't value the friendship highly.

Apart from anything else, presumably she's sold the ticket to her friend on the basis that she 'can go with sundaycoffee,' but you haven't agreed to that and are under no obligation to do so. You could sell your own ticket, find someone else to go with, or just go by yourself and not meet up with her friend, so she could also end up at the gig by herself. Or perhaps the friend knows other people going so has no intention of meeting up with you - and again can't be made to. Just a bit shit all round really.

Oodlesandoodlesofnoodles · 05/02/2025 17:19

Its annoying, but I would just take the approach that you’re going to the concert alone.

Ellie1015 · 05/02/2025 17:28

You have to find someone you want to go with to buy the ticket, sell your ticket too as a pair or go with friend of friend.

You going and her ticket not being used is not really a fair option.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 05/02/2025 17:31

She gave you the chance to sell the ticket to someone you know better. It's not a great situation but worth staying upset over, unless she keeps pulling out of things you've arranged.

hydriotaphia · 05/02/2025 17:36

You could buy the ticket full price then sell it to your own friend at a discount?

Madamecholetsbonnet · 05/02/2025 17:40

You don’t need to arrange anything with the person she sells her ticket to. You don’t even need to know who it is.

Do you think she shouldn’t sell her ticket so you don’t have to sit next to someone you don’t know? What about the stranger the other side of you? You will be “spending the evening” sat next to them too.

PoorPlanning · 05/02/2025 17:43

If you wouldn’t have gone had you known this would happen, you can’t like the act that much. Can you sell both tickets back on the site?

Notodrugs · 05/02/2025 17:48

Are you expecting her not to sell the ticket, to keep the seat empty? That's a bit unfair. Either you could sell your ticket too, or just go solo and enjoy yourself. You don't have to travel with this person or socialise with them at all

Allthebrokenplaces · 05/02/2025 17:52

YANBU to feel put out, but what would you like her to do?
Take a loss so you can invite your own friend?

If I was in your friend's shoes, I'd be really really apologetic, I'd offer you the ticket full price to sell/give to someone of your choice and if that didn't work, I'd sell it myself. Pretty much what she is doing.

It sucks, you'd planned an evening with your friend and it's not as pleasant going alone or with someone you hardly know. But that's just how it is. If she's a good friend, you can do something else together another time.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 05/02/2025 18:08

@Sundaycoffee I missed that she offered you her ticket at full price in your OP, in that case could you buy it off her and gift it to the friend of your choosing as a early birthday or very early Christmas present?

Floralnomad · 05/02/2025 18:12

If she’s paid for her ticket then it’s hers to do as she pleases with , if you want to decide what to do with it buy it off her .

Whaleandsnail6 · 05/02/2025 18:18

Its a shame but I think you have 2 options

Let her sell the ticket as she wants. Not that much interaction at a concert anyway so make the best of being there

Or

You buy it off her for face value and then sell to someone you know discounted. Means you are out of pocket but get to sit with who you want.

ItGhoul · 05/02/2025 18:19

I understand why you're a bit disappointed but she didn't have much choice about pulling out and she's perfectly entitled to give or sell the ticket to whoever she wants if you can't find anyone yourself know who wants to go. She paid for the ticket. She can do whatever she wants with it.