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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wear this to a wedding?

28 replies

Sam1ya · 05/02/2025 13:52

Hello everyone,
I'm attending a Moroccan engagement party/Islamic wedding, and since my husband is Moroccan, my mother-in-law gifted me a caftan (like the one in the picture). I'm considering wearing the top part (with the belt) over a greyish dress with a silver flower pattern underneath so that the background isn’t white and bridal. I wanted to ask if you think this would be too much or over-the-top, would it seem like I’m trying to steal the spotlight, or do you think it would be appropriate?

https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/320951910961818444/

OP posts:
Bailiwitch · 05/02/2025 13:56

Sorry, didn’t see link!

anonhop · 05/02/2025 13:58

For a traditional UK celebration, unacceptable.

I have no idea about Moroccan traditions. Does your MIL know? If she thinks it's fine then probably ok

Fidgety31 · 05/02/2025 13:59

If you want to look like the bride then yeah wear it !

TacticalEvasion · 05/02/2025 14:00

I don’t think it’s the background colour that matters. I think it is really a bit much, beautiful though it is, regardless of what colours the couple will be wearing.

Bignanna · 05/02/2025 14:00

What a beautiful caftan! Is the colour acceptable? Presumably your mother in law would know that.

Pinkdreams · 05/02/2025 14:01

Absolutely not

Loveumagenta · 05/02/2025 14:02

What colours does the bride wear??? That would be the main q

Tootiredforthis23 · 05/02/2025 14:05

The 2 Muslim weddings I went to the bride wasn’t wearing white (both wore red) so the colour wouldn’t have been a problem.And lots of the guests wore outfits with lots of intricate detailing so it would have been fine. If it’s in the UK then maybe just check that the bride isn’t wearing white, ask your husband or MiL as they would presumably know?

Original poster
Sam1ya · 05/02/2025 14:05

Loveumagenta · 05/02/2025 14:02

What colours does the bride wear??? That would be the main q

I'm not entirely sure what colours they’ll be wearing, as we haven’t been told.

OP posts:
eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 05/02/2025 14:07

Assuming it's your wedding - then yes, lovely!

Surprisedcupcake · 05/02/2025 14:09

Do you have beef with the bride? 🤔

CarpetKnees · 05/02/2025 14:17

I think the only people who can answer this are people who are familiar with Moroccan and Muslim weddings.

It would be lovely, for example at any of the Indian weddings I've seen pictures of, where people do dress up beautifully, and white isn't a bridal colour.

tilypu · 05/02/2025 14:21

Check with them. At some Muslim weddings the bride wears red, but at others they wear white, and guests are not supposed to wear white or black.

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 05/02/2025 14:24

The op isnt the bride.. Why can't people actually read the post?

mitogoshigg · 05/02/2025 14:30

In honesty you need to ask your mil for advice. I unfortunately am not familiar with Moroccan Islamic ceremonies but in Asian ones the bride is often in red though the guests will be in bright colours avoiding red (white is for funerals usually), at Asian ceremonies there is no such thing as overdressed, everyone wears elaborate, beautiful clothes

Gymrabbit · 05/02/2025 14:31

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours

No one thought she was the bride. They were being sarcastic as it looks so bridal.
If you are going to be critical of others reading comprehension try to make sure yours goes beyond primary school level skills first.

Whoarethoseguys · 05/02/2025 15:05

Gymrabbit · 05/02/2025 14:31

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours

No one thought she was the bride. They were being sarcastic as it looks so bridal.
If you are going to be critical of others reading comprehension try to make sure yours goes beyond primary school level skills first.

Bridal for a traditional UK wedding but this isn't a traditional UK wedding. So I don't think they did read the OP properly. Only people who have been to Moroccan engagement / Muslim wedding can advise really

Dearnurse · 05/02/2025 15:12

No obviously not BUT ask the bride ...

Katiesaidthat · 05/02/2025 15:17

A friend of mine, his brother married a Moroccan girl and I saw the photos and the lady guests all wore this kind of dress in a myriad of colours. The bride wasn´t in white. I think she wore golden colours. It is their traditional dress. I think it´s fine, but I would ask your mother in law for the finer details.

wipeywipe · 05/02/2025 15:25

only been to Indian weddings where brides were red so this would be fine

wipeywipe · 05/02/2025 15:25

wear!

welshpolarbear · 05/02/2025 15:28

I assume you'll get most people saying no here as it looks like a traditional British bridal gown.

The two Muslim weddings I've been to the brides wore purple and red, so I don't think it's quite the same problem.

Like others have said though, perhaps try and find out if the bride is wearing white, if so, as gorgeous as it is, I don't think I'd be suitable.

Catza · 05/02/2025 15:36

Gymrabbit · 05/02/2025 14:31

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours

No one thought she was the bride. They were being sarcastic as it looks so bridal.
If you are going to be critical of others reading comprehension try to make sure yours goes beyond primary school level skills first.

Actually, they didn't really read the post because OP also quite clearly says that she will be wearing the "top part" (which is very sheer fabric with embroidery) over a grey dress. So it won't remotely look white or bridal.

Tchagra · 05/02/2025 15:39

Lol at people assuming that what is worn at an Indian wedding is the same as at a Moroccan wedding. Good grief

ItGhoul · 05/02/2025 15:49

Obviously it wouldn't be appropriate to wear as a guest at a European wedding, as it would look too 'bridal'. But a Moroccan bride might not necessarily wear white/cream - some do, some don't - and even if the bride does wear something white, I don't know whether it's considered a problem in Morocco for a guest to wear white too. I think you should probably ask your husband and/or MIL, who are Moroccan, what the etiquette is.

(Edited to add that my friend, who is Moroccan, wore gold and cream for her wedding but I know one of her sisters wore a beautiful jade green for hers.)